Sad state of affairs

 

Well I didn't see any of the last few weeks events coming, so it's been a bit of kick in the guts. 

I am alternating between feeling numb, angry and scared really.  I am trying to avoid the news, it just gets worse every time I see something new.

I am aware that no laws have changed about which loo's I can use, but the media has been effective at spreading the lies, and I am in no doubt that a good percentage of the populous now believe it to be true.

I must be feeling a bit like disabled people do when they need to go out somewhere, got to know where all the accessible toilets are going to be in advance. Emailing places to check on access etc.  Certainly feel more trapped and restricted.

I can't say I will never use the gents, but it would need to be the absolute last resort.  I don't really want to risk being confronted in the ladies either. So if there are no gender neutral facilities, it will have to be the disabled.

Radar keys can be acquired from a neurodiversity shop in Hull apparently. I have had friends get them off Amazon only to find they didn't work. But a friend has vouched for these ones. 

Transition Status 

No immediate change to my plan at the moment, but if things are going to get significantly worse then the pipe dream of emigrating may require some genuine thought, and reservation of funds.

I am going to progress with the laser hair removal down there, I hadn't planned on contacting the surgeon till much later in the year anyway. 

I've had my medical interview with Pride In Health this week - it went well, and she seemed pleased with my progress.

It was an hour long call, but for some reason the calendar had messed up at her end and she was 10 minutes late.  We spent about 45 minutes in the end, which was good as I had a work call 5 minutes after it ended.

We covered my dosage history, what effects physically and emotionally I had experienced, and  what effects I was still hoping to see. She was happy with my last blood test results, but needs to see a full health check with Liver Function Tests to see how my liver is coping with the blockers before she will prescribe.

I have 6 months of everything left at the moment, so it seems no rush at the moment.

Not had my letter from her yet with a summary of everything we spoke about, but should get it by the end of the week.

 

Social Activities : 

I did go out at the weekend, and I did still have a good time, but the issues were at the back of my mind, and I should have been more happy than I was. It did help to be out though.

 

Riding Lesson

My friend Charlotte had suggest that I might like to try riding a horse ! she was planning to go on the Friday afternoon, and had offered to pay for me to try it too. 

I do like to try new things, so was quite excited.  I had taken Josephine over too, partly as a bit of a shakedown drive before my wales trip in early May, and also to make sure she and Charlotte got on , as she is joining me on that trip and has never been in her.  There is very little passenger seat adjustment, and she is quite tall.

So I drove her to a pub for some food to achieve that aim. We ordered a fish goujon sandwich, which sounded light, but was basically a massive piece of fish in bread. I didn't finish it all !   - as it was before some of the more recent press garbage I still felt OK to risk the loos, nobody said anything.

After returning to hers, and swapping to her vehicle we headed to the yard in Beverly.

I got equipped with a helmet, and asked to fill in a disclaimer form, with emergency contact details etc !   I have a small head apparently, and there was disbelief I was in my 40's - she thought I was a lot younger.

I had to wait for my steed 'Gordon' to return to the yard, he had been out in public with a young lady on a bit of a ride and hadn't returned yet.  They wanted to give me one that was size appropriate, and also very well behaved given I had not ridden before.

Gordon seemed nice, the young instructor led him into the riding area, and I had to walk up some box steps so I could mount him.  

She taught me how to do the basics, start  , stop left and right turns.  I got to do some maneuvering, they have letters on the fences around the area, so she would tell me to A for example, then to B.  

We did try some faster riding, where I had to try and stand on the stirrups - that wasn't so much fun for me, I think I should have untucked !  

Anyway I was told I did really well, and that she didn't really need to be helping me - at least with just going around at walking pace.

I would like to try again some time, but I would prefer to go with my friend, and it's in Hull so may not be something I do often.

 

Beat the Clock - Vinyl disco

Sally, Rebeka and a few of Charlotte's friends were meant to be coming, but her friends sadly pulled out, so it was just the four of us.

Sally, Charlotte and myself went to a Pizza restaurant first, then met Rebeka in a bar afterwards. 

The disco was in a room above it later on in the evening, it's a semi regular retro vinyl disco, playing obscure music from the 60's 70's and 80's  -  it was nice, but I had hoped for a few more popular ones. 

There were no loo issues, the cubicles were all self contained with sinks and dryer off a central corridor and were not gendered.  

We did some dancing, and drank some refreshing beverages - I had a lot less than the others though, as was being good.

I think we left after midnight some time. 

Hornsea

I had decided to stay an extra day since the weather was nice, and I had Josephine on hand, I suggested we go to the seaside to get some nice air.

Had a nice pootle out there, and a bit of a wander around town for a bit.  I bought a warmer coat from a charity shop as it was quite bracing near the beach.  We had a light bite at a little cafe near the Boat Launch , then proceeded south down the beach to look for fossils and such.

I should really have taken a hammer from the car, but forgot they had them down there. It was a pleasant walk, there was a paraglider taking advantage of the sea breeze to fly up and down over the edge of the cliff.

On our return we headed back into the centre and grabbed a drink at a cool gaming cafe, then we went to a deli and grabbed some traditional saveloys which we planned to have with pasta for tea.

Then we headed back.  The saveloys were really nice, we had with spaghetti and a spicy tomato sauce.

Headed home the next day, Josephine seemed happy, which was nice :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Diagnosis

 

Diagnosis :

Well I've finally got myself a formal diagnosis - It was part of the signup process for Pride in Health  a new service I have signed up for : 

As per today’s assessment, Miss Isobel <Redacted> fulfils the criteria and holds a diagnosis of gender incongruence according to the ICD-11 classification HA60 ‘Gender incongruence of adolescence or adulthood':

“Gender incongruence in adolescence or adulthood is characterised by a marked and persistent incongruence between an individual's experienced gender and the assigned sex, which often leads to a desire to 'transition' to live and be accepted as a person of the experienced gender through hormonal treatment, surgery or other health care services to make the individual's body align, as much as desired and to the extent possible, with the experienced gender”.

Gender incongruence is associated with clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning, as highlighted in Miss Isobel <Redacted>’s gender history. She wishes to affirm her gender identity through hormone replacement therapy.

I had previously been 'assessed' by GenderGP, but I didn't get a four page PDF signed by a Psychologist at the end of it.

So there you go, I wasn't just going through a phase for the past few years 😂 

Other medical matters : 

The blockers seem to be doing something, I won't go into detail but I definitely am less testosterone driven. This is good !

I am not taking the dose I am meant to be on, as it seemed excessive compared to my friends. So I am mirroring them. I will be reviewing my dosages with Pride in Health when I am fully onboard - one more interview to go with that.

In preparation for the possibility of  surgeries downstairs, I have been consulting with those that have already been there and had that done.  I have concluded that Tina Rashid seems to be my preferred option. She is UK based, and in the London area. I have not approached them for anything yet.

I have also started hair removal down there - which I have not been looking forward to, but it seems is recommended before you get assessed.  Had my first session last week, it was a bit awkward, but the lady is very professional and my dignity was mostly maintained. I didn't realise but the package also included rear removal !  I am sort of glad as I would have worried more.

Anyway there was very little pain, compared to the top lip anything else you get done is a walk in the park really. I got 6 sessions for the price of 5,  £550 in total - https://www.laserluxxe.co.uk/ 

I went to the doctors to ask for blood tests at the start of the month, he was super friendly which was nice - he wasn't my usual doctor and i am sure he was a bit grumpy with me the last time i saw him maybe 7 years ago.  But anyway he was fine to give me the tests.

Not sure if he will be forced to stop doing them in the though, I hear that dear old Wes Streeting has been telling the NHS not to do them for kids, and he's likely angling for the adults too. What a lovely chap.

 

Social life 

I've been to LFF of course, Indian Street food was had at Bundobust followed by an afternoon of drinking in the bars.  In the evening we ended up at Behind Closed Doors again, an underground bar with a seedy theme, but not a place where seedy things happen.  

They did a cocktail where they clip a condom to your glass, we had a few of them - which reminds me I really ought to throw them away, my wife might get the wrong idea if she looked in my handbag right now 😂 - I think it was called Kitten Mittens. 

We finished the night sharing cheesy chips with sauce on, which was nice.

The next day myself Sally and Benni were out in Wakefield. Unfortunately I wasn't feeling up to another heavy night, but we had a nice time. I left about 10 ish - was meant to be staying over in Wakefield but just needed my own bed.

I've made it to the last two Chameleons which is good. I did leave a bit early last Thursday, as I had the day off the next day and I needed to get my car finished. So it gave me an earlier night to get a good sleep.

Met a newbie last time who seemed lovely, hoping they will come again although it seems their work might get in the way.

I am going to Hull for a disco night next Friday, and I have swimming again today - went last weekend too.  So I am doing well with the mingling (as normal I guess).

 

Josephine

Many many hours have been spent removing, rebuilding, re-installing the gearbox. Then it didn't sound good, so I had to do it all again 😢

Anyway attempt two seems to have gone well , fingers crossed.  She is back on the road, and seemingly ready for my camping adventure in Wales in May with the Women's Drivers Social Group !!

Proof of this is below, I drove my wife into Wakefield to pick up her car that was having an MOT :

I have since washed her 😊