An actual update !

Some non-social event details for a change :)  -  plus a random weird photo from NYE 😀

Legal transition status:

Pensions finally got all that sorted in late December.  For some reason Scottish Widows required a certified Deed Poll - which cost me a £5 , I was very annoyed, they were the only company that needed one, and it was totally pointless because all she did was photocopy the original and sign it to say it was a certified copy.  I could have fabricated the whole document, she was only saying that it was a copy of the document I provided her to sign. Even after sending them this, It took them several weeks, and me chasing them to get it actually changed.

I still have some investments to sort, I am also on companies house for the estates management company under my dead name. 

Passport - it's £55 I think to get a letter from GenderGP stating that my transition is likely permanent -  I would use my own GP, but despite several requests, and having an appointment, nobody had got back to me.   One of my friends has done me a letter, their qualifications should meet the passport office requirements, but they are not a GP so I don't know if it will work.  I need to get a better set of passport photo's done, that make me look vaguely feminine.  I might go into a photography shop in Wakefield to get those. 

Medical matters 

NHS App - I do now have access to my medical records again !! however they don't seem as good as when the GP was using their previous service.  I does seem like I can get my hormone test results though, which I was getting quite upset about losing access to. Gender GP seemed fine to provide we with meds without me giving them test results, but it's not ideal to be medicating blind.

My oestrogen levels in October - which I have only just got access to were a bit disappointing, lower than previously, and my T was higher. So I have decided to increase my dose by one extra pump a day, then I will ask my GP for another blood test and see what GenderGP say.

I stopped taking Progesterone before Xmas, when I was ill and I think I will stay off it a while, i feel sharper off it, and my breast tissue is still tender, so the Oestrogen seems to be working fine without it.

Work

I haven't really had much contact with the team I am meant to be working under now, there are lots of changes going on in the company, and I suspect I am not a priority one, so I am just keeping my head down and cracking on with my work.  Trying to do more development, and throw basic hands on stuff to others I have trained on it.

Home life

My Wife just got a head of department job at a different school, so it's step up the ladder with a pay rise  - which is nice. Hoping she enjoys it, and it's not too stressful. But good for her to go for it, she was very pleased to have been successful, having failed to get other roles in her current trust.

Not much else is changing, we have our usual routines, she goes to things on evenings during the week, and I get to go out on a Friday and sometimes Saturday.  Kids are doing well, they have been a bit ill recently, I think possibly the bug I had or something similar.

My parents are not doing too bad, I saw them last weekend when I went swimming. Managed 42 lengths again :)

Josephine

I did some welding on the drivers side inner wing area over Xmas.  I have been on adventures in her this weekend - I will post about that some other time probably.  I think I will have to take the gearbox back out again, it's noisy in neutral, I think a bearing has gone on the input shaft.

I also need to swap the axle casing and differential, the current casing has a few perforations I fixed, but the final drive ratio is too low - it was intended for it's original engine, and I have a replacement that should allow for lower RPM at motorway speeds which will please my ears, and her engine :)

Noticed the rear passenger side door is rotten at the bottom, so that needs sorting - and the drivers side rear looks a bit weird, doesn't look to fit properly.  The drivers door also needs some shims to align it too. 

Lots of fun to be had this year then :)

You spin me right round baby right round

Life Updates 

It has been a fairly quiet month in terms of attending the big trans night outs.  I hadn't planned on going to anything until December. It's nice to have a slow month every now and then. December is going to be hectic, but perhaps I will try and keep January a low key one too.

I did still have some things to go to, Swimming and chameleons got me mingling a bit every other week, which is nice.  It's good to have regular normal things that don't involve alcohol.

Work

Not really sure what triggered it, but it was suggested that I might like to move department. So as of the new year I shall be back in the ranks of the IT . There is another woman who works under the same boss,  but the rest are blokes, whereas finance has a lot more women. 

From a company tree perspective, I will have fallen a few rungs, but I have always thought I was reporting way too high, so it's not a bad thing. 

It's not the first time I've had my role changed, it seems to happen quite regularly to some people in the company.  Ones they don't want to keep don't seem to be moved, so I am hopeful it's not part of a move to oust me.  I am having to hand over some critical business tasks to others in the finance team, it's a bit difficult as a lot of what I do is in my head, but I am improving processes and documentation to make it possible at least.

Medical Matters

Due to the name change at the doctors, and them having a new computer system installed, I've been unable to re-register for online access to my medical records.  I used to get access to my blood tests which I need to provide to Gender GP for them to safely prescribe my hormones.

I am going to pop into the doctors with the form next week to see if they are ready to process it, fingers crossed they will.

In the mean time, I just told Gender GP I didn't have any results to provide, and they seemed happy to just give me the same dose as last time.  Once I get access again , I can check if the levels were OK, and adjust my dose if the E is too low. It will just run out sooner, and I will have to re-order sooner.

Home life

Things are fairly static, I did note that my wife seemed to be calling my Izzy more often, rather than daddy ( to the kids)  which is an improvement.  

My parents seem to be doing OK, my brother has been doing some painting for them. I try to pop in when I go swimming if possible, it can sort of be on the way.

Hobby News 

The new (old) car is not going well, the aluminium head is firmly stuck on the head studs. But I have finally got around to purchasing a metal working lathe !!

I have coveted one for a long time, and this issue with the car sort of swung it.  With the lathe I can make a very thin long hole saw to cut around the studs, and free the head.  I will also be able to tackle the worn out steering nut in the steering box with it too.  Plus lots of other things I wanted to use it for as well.

I also bought a new extruder assembly for my 3D printer which should rejuvenate it, and give it much superior performance.   

This is the bad side of not being out drinking at the weekends, I actually get to do other things, and they expensive.

Things Attended : 

NEC Classic Motor Show - 8th of November

My friend Alice was meant to be meeting up with me at this event, you have to pre-book tickets. It's a very big show, the biggest I've ever been to.  

The Woman's Drivers Social Club had a stand, and I had set off really early to ensure I got there for the 10am group photo - but not early enough as it seems.  I had pre-booked parking in the EV part, but the car park people were directing everyone into a normal car park, so I had to try and find my way back out of that, and then around the congested roads to the correct one - which I missed and then had to do another lap.  Anyway, did eventually get into the event.

My main mission , aside from meeting up with the WDSC girls, was to do a bit of networking with the people on the Standard Motor Company group stand, as I will likely need help and to buy parts from fellow club members - and get advice on certain things.

I did manage to talk with Rodger who was lovely, and he said he would put me in touch with a chap who owns the same model as mine. 

Spent a while walking around the event, I got my eldest a drone from one of the stands, got a bit ripped off, it turns out there is no Android App for it !  Bought some tools from one stall, a Morris Minor t-shirt from the owners club stand too.

Did sit with the WDSC girls for a bit as well.  My feet were starting to hurt, so I took a shuttle bus back to my car to change into an alternate pair which were flatter, and drop off some of my goodies too.

Overall it was a nice experience, there were a few bad moments though -  some guys who were clearly having a joke about me while I was walking into the event in the morning, I could hear them a bit, then they all went totally silent while they past me, and then started joking as they got far enough away to feel brave again.  There was also some guys who were less than impressed that there was a Gay motoring club with a stand there.   But most people we friendly enough, and I saw lots of nice cars. 

Perhaps next year I will do 2 days, there is far too much to see on just one day.

  

Swimming Bramley Baths - 10th of November

I popped into my parents an hour before the session just to see how they were. The house was a bit of a state as my brother was there, he had been painting their hallway for them. He stayed for a bit so I got to talk to him too.  I only stayed about 40 minutes, but was glad I had made the effort.

I did 34 lengths during the session  -  it was quite quiet, and neither of my two usual companions (distractions) were there, so I ended up having to swim lots.  I managed 34 lengths, which for the 22m pool is nearly 750 Meters ! 

Alex was there I did talk to her for a bit before we got into the pool, but she likes to try and do 1Km, so doesn't chat in the pool - that's 46 lengths.

This is a new PB, and a target I hope to try and beat one  day soon.  

Chameleons - 14th November

Given that I hadn't been out much, I was even more keen than usual to go. It was a lovely night, packed again. Had a good natter, I made some disappointing tea - I am no good with tea pots. 

There was some new ladies there which was nice to see, and a very packed room once again. We certainly do seem to be on a roll with new people coming this year. 

Swimming 24th of November

I met up with my friend Charlotte at a shopping centre that could be on our mutual routes to the baths.  Had offered to have a coffee with her before the swimming, as it's only a 1 hour session, so you can't have a popper chat really.  

We met at the White Rose centre, and ended up in Starbucks.  I had a Fudge Brownie hot chocolate, with cream on the top - thus neutralising any calorie loss due to the imminent exercise 😄

She had cracked her ribs doing some indoor climbing with a Queer climbing group this week, so I didn't try to make her laugh. We had a nice chat, then headed to the baths which was about 20 minutes away. 

I did only manage 22 lengths this time, well short of the previous count, but it was a lot busier session, and I did have someone to talk to.   I am back on the 1st of December, I think I will be on my own for that one, so hopefully get to 30 at least.

Informing the universe

 

Name Change at work

My name change at work was largely completed on Friday the 14th of June.

My email, Teams , HR login and a few other systems were all updated during the course of the day. Aside from having to restart Onedrive all went to plan !   I did have to manually change my profile picture on a few of them, but that was no great hassle.

I had emailed around 40 colleagues on the Thursday afternoon - partly as a lot of them would have been off on the Friday, so wanted to make sure they saw the email in good time.  I had a number of lovely messages back from perhaps 10 of them so far.  A few teams messages too.  

There are a few women who I would have hoped to have got a message back from, but haven't - but I have also had a few of the guys send me nice messages, so it's not worked out badly.

The email was a slightly modified version of one Ann sent to me, that had been used by one of her colleagues :

Hello,

I hope you are well - I have some important news to share with you.

It may surprise you to learn that I am transgender. I have been living as a woman outside of work for a while now, and I feel ready to make this change in my professional life as well.

Starting from Friday the 14th of June, I will be going by the name Isobel (or Izzy for short) and using she/her pronouns. All of my IT accounts will be updated throughout the day, although it may be Monday before everything is in synch.

I kindly ask you to respect my identity and refer to me accordingly. This is not a whim or a phase, but a core part of who I am.

I understand that this may be new or confusing for you, and that you may have questions or concerns. I am happy to answer any reasonable questions you may have, as long as they are respectful and appropriate. You can email me privately or talk to me in person if you prefer.

I also want to reassure you that I am still the same person you know and work with. I am not expecting you to change your behaviour or attitude towards me drastically. You don't have to walk on eggshells around me or avoid certain topics. Just treat me as you would any other colleague. 

I know that mistakes can happen, especially in the beginning. If you accidentally misgender me or use my old name, don't make a big deal out of it. Just correct yourself and move on. What matters to me is your intent, not your perfection.

I appreciate your support and understanding in this transition. I am looking forward to continuing working with you as my true self.

Best Regards,

I was dressed for the first time on Friday (working from home)  , but I only had two calls that day, one from someone who had been notified, and had sent me a nice message, and one from one of my closer colleagues who had known about me for some time, and was checking up on me. So I haven't really interacted with many people as yet.

I will likely get more calls on Monday, I shall report back :)

Telling my Parents

My dad has been waiting on a letter from the DVLA confirming he is still OK to drive. I had visited my parents yesterday, and this got brought up in conversation. I mentioned I had my new drivers license back (it arrived  late last week).  My mum's curiosity got the better of her, and she asked why I needed a new one, so I mentioned I had changed my name.

I could see she wasn't very happy, but I had taken my youngest with me, and I don't think she wanted to cause a fuss in front of him.  She did ask me what I preferred to be called, then continued to use my dead name for the rest of the time we were there - three or four times.

I also got a funny look, as I had gone with eyebrows done, and some foundation on my beard shadow area. 

My dad seemed oblivious, didn't really say anything, and deadnamed me when I left - with what is going on with his health I don't really mind with him, it could well be the last year I have with him, so I am not going to get upset with him  over this.  

My mum did send me a Whatsapp after I had returned home, wishing me a happy fathers day for tommorow - normally she would use my name in the message, but this time there was no name at all. So perhaps she will be attempting to not use one at all - which is better than my deadname at least.

I did wonder on reflection if the fathers day thing was another dig, potentially reminding me of my birth gender again, she seems to do this every so often. But I might just be paranoid.

3rd Parties

I got my drivers license back, and separately the deed poll I had sent. I had folded it, as I figure it's better to have a few copies that I can mail out, which I can reuse for other things, rather than spending a lot more on postage to send in big envelopes.

I've notified the electoral register, but not heard back - no idea if I will be able to vote now.

I did tell the HMRC too, using their online system, expecting to hear back from them asking me to post in the deed poll, but also not heard back.

Hoping to go into the bank on Friday to get things started with them, now I have some photo ID.

There are a few suppliers at work I need to email on Monday too.  I've been able to change my gas/electric details online with no proof, so I will be able to print out utility statements soon which will serve as other forms of ID too.  

I've also done things like Amazon and Vinted, as I can now prove who I am to go pick things up if there are delivery issues.

LinkedIn - posted some pics on Insta / Facebook to see what people suggested in terms of hair tied up or down. Most people said down, so I went with that.

Still need to do the Doctors, and will now need to notify Nottingham GIC that the NHS number on my application will need updating when I get a new one. 

Might do my mobile phone contract in a bit.

Medical Updates

I had a box of goodies from GenderGP, not wanting to play side effect roulette, I decided to try one new medication at any time, so I can be sure which one is causing me issues if I get any.

I have done a trial of the Finasteride this week (1mg), not 100% sure but think my tinnitus was a bit worse. There was also a bit of skin itching. I only did a few days, I will likely start on them again this week, but perhaps only taking half a pill a day.

I have not tried the progesterone yet, or the blocker - I am thinking I probably don't even need the blocker and that it was a bit of a waste of time getting it. The Finasteride will suppress my T level, and also increasing my E dosage to 3 pumps a day should also suppress it a bit more too.

My doctor has asked me to schedule another blood test, I am not sure if he just knows that I would want one sooner rather later anyway, he was concerned my E levels were too high - which they for someone with a male NHS number, but he did put in the notes he was aware I was on gel, as I had told him this.

Cosmetic News

I tried a new hair dye by John Freida, it was a foam type - meant to be a amber/brown.  It has worked OK on my grey, but on my darker hair it's not done much.  I didn't like how it went on, I have ordered some Schwarzkopf from Amazon to try - 'Cranberry Bliss' , I am hoping this will work better !

Social events

LFF was fab, there were four girls from Chameleons there, for three of them it was their 1st time. They all seemed to enjoy themselves. I was good, and remained relatively sober, despite several flaming cocktails in the Shed (Flaming Zombies).

I walked one of the girls back to the hotel from the Smokestack, and got her in the lift as she seemed a bit wobbly. Then went back for a bit, and ended up taking another one back via Big Bites as well.  

Ann managed to get the last one back after I had retired to bed, one had gone to bed early after the food, but it was not her 1st time.

I should have been at Chameleons on the Thursday night before my name change at work, but the car park was closed, and I really wanted a good nights sleep before that day, as besides the stress of the change, I also had some really important work to do !

Hopefully will be at the next one.

Last night I was at an 80's night in Hull, which was great - although I am waiting for a bus lane fine, as I am sure I was in one during a time when I shouldn't.

Josephine

I did some cool external videos' with my mounting system on the car, and my YouTube channel numbers seem to be growing a lot faster since the breakdown video - but have attracted more peddle pumpers. Well at least people are watching the videos
:)