Darth Hideous

 

My dad is a lot better, he is still nowhere near 100% back with us mentally. But he can speak in sentences now, he knows who we are, and he's complaining about the food :) . We had a chat with a doctor on Friday and it seems like he will be in there for a long time to recover. 

On Wednesday my mum decided that there was not enough worry going around, and started to chuck in some passive aggressive comments about my lifestyle in some message she sent. Also was upset that my wife was not taking her up on her generous offer of support about that aspect. 

She had knitted me a hat, and I had mistakenly assumed she would be pleased to see me wearing it, so I had sent her a picture (en-femme) - I think this set her off. I can't see me wearing it in bloke mode to be honest. 

I shut her down pretty quickly - in a fairly nice way, saying that we had enough to worry about at the moment without getting into all that, and my wife might not feel comfortable talking about that with her.  I didn't want to escalate issues, so refrained from returning a broadside to keep the peace - was quite angry.

But it did put in a pretty bad mood on Thursday. Thankfully I was going to Chams for the Xmas fuddle, and managed to have a really good time there.  I was feeling massively more relaxed and happy as I left.

My wife has taken her into hospital to see my dad this morning, so I await to see what was said during the drive there and back.

Not long till Xmas now, I will be at the in-laws for four days, I am already dreading it, yet more family to see me with the long hair.  I've trimmed my talons, so they are a bit less obvious at least. I only have one more social event planned before we go down and that is this evening, so I may leave the beard growing a bit - it's not a lot now, but it does help maintain the illusion.

It's the Trans-Wakefield Xmas meal tonight, I am off to Asda shortly to get food for lunch, then I will stick my face on. 

Sunday Walk

Last Saturday I was meant to be walking around Newmillerdam with Trans-Wakefield, but hadn't been able to due to hospital visiting.  So I decided to walk there on my own on the Sunday, it's about 6km from my house.  I had been wanting to try going for local walks dressed, as I felt a little trapped without the ability to do that. I do enjoy going on a random Sunday walk.

I had bought a coat and wellies and a warm jumper from Ebay/Vinted for winter outdoor adventures, the wellies have rainbows on 🤣 - The hat as previously mentioned was knitted by my mum.  I quite like it - but some friends have called it hideous. 

I was still not as comfortable walking around in the countryside on my own as a city, felt a little on edge. Trapped by the narrow confines of the footpaths. If I were living alone I might well want a big dog with me. I wasn't doing much eye contact with passers-by, but it was fairly quiet out and I didn't see that many people.  

When I got there, I went straight to the other pub over the road from the car park the 'Fox and hounds', it was very warm in there and not many places to sit, so I only stayed for one in there.

Next I headed the short distance to the pub I was in the previous day 'The Dam Inn'. It was nicer in there, and I stayed in there for the rest of the afternoon. The people behind the bar were very friendly, and felt safe and accepted in there. 

It was dark by the time I wanted to leave, and my wife was worried and offered a lift, but I could tell it was an inconvenience so I decided to get an Uber.  He was nice enough, had some small talk, nearly ended up on the other side of the car when he took a corner very quick though !

Chameleons

Had been looking forward to the fuddle, it is my most favourite of the meetings - not only because I get to stuff my face, but just gets us all moving around a bit more. I put on jeans and a Xmas jumper for the drive down. 

As previously mentioned I wasn't in a fab mood, but I figured once I was there I would enjoy myself, so I should proceed as planned.  I hadn't been 100% sure I would be able to go with my dad health as it was, so I hadn't said I was taking anything, and decided to buy a cheese selection and biscuits as this was not on the list of things others were buying. Looks like Joanna had the same idea , and we ended up with two cheese selections. But we ate it all , so glad we did !

I changed into a slightly bodycon sequin dress when I arrived, I didn't want to wear in on the way down in case i needed to pop into the services. Also put on my goth boots, which I really liked wearing with the big sequin dress at LFF a few weeks ago.

Someone had brought a mini speaker and put some xmas tunes on which was nice, it was quiet enough that we could all still talk.  

Was really great to catch up with everyone, I had missed a few meetings in recent months. 

Was feeling very relaxed and happy by the time I left, and very glad I had gone - as I knew I would be. I got back after midnight, I wasn't very frugal with the electrons on the way home, and it was warm enough I was in no danger of running low.

Xmas Shopping

I decided to go to Leeds yesterday, but changed my mind as I was driving and went to Wakefield instead. I spent the afternoon pottering around.  Popped into my new favourite Café for a Mocha and some food. Tried the Lasagne this time, but it wasn't that good. 

I didn't spend much on myself, other than some opaque tights from Matalan, some fake nails from Home Bargains, and some cheap own brand lashes from Superdrug.  I favour the Eyelure ones normally, but they are quite expensive, usually at least £5. These ones were £2.50.

Also got a 'Choc Ice' Stout from Sainsburys to try.

I wore my Banned Retro Peacock dress, and my high heel DM's. I was quite overdressed really.

Also went looking for a record player, but they were out of stock in Currys and Argos, so I have bought online.

It was a nice afternoon out.  

Right boob on the loose !

I've been lax at updating on here, so I am running a bit behind ! 

Wednesday 14th - Makeup Practise

My makeup game had become a bit stale, and I was slacking on it really. I had bought some proper false lashes to try - I didn't like the magnetic ones I tried before. I got some more expensive glue for them as well, rather than relying on the cheap stuff that comes with them. 

I figured I would spend some time trying to get them on, as I really wanted to be able to do them for the next big socials- LFF / Sparkle.

So I spent a leisurely 1hr 30 minutes getting ready, I was also practising metallic eye shadow and also blusher as well.  I had bought some eyelid primer to help with the eye shadow - "Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion".

I watched a video on how to use eye shadow primer, and it said to ensure to put normal foundation over the top, otherwise there will be a noticeable colour difference between the two. It seemed a bit counter productive, but it seemed to work OK. 

Lashes went on OK, I used the smallest ones in the box. I was pretty chuffed with the results ! 

 

Thursday 15th - Trans-Wakefield

We were in the Café again - I can't remember if I said, we've switched to doing two evenings per month in there.

There were not as many people there this time, but I got to speak to some that I had not done much before. Phillipa was back again, she seemed to be feeling a bit better. 

It was a pleasant evening, I was given a birthday card when I left, which was unexpected. I was intending to go to Invasion the next night, so I decided to head straight home instead of joining them in the pub, as I wanted to pack.

Friday 16th - Nottingham Invasion

I really really wanted a night out, so I was very keen on going to the Invasion this month.

I got ready at home, and I attempted to repeat my success of the previous day with the lash application - made a total mess of them, and ended up giving up on them 😢

Due to the unfortunate events in Nottingham, the hotel prices seemed lower than normal, so I was able
to bag a room in the Hilton for £90 (a cosy double).  Joanna had wanted to meet up to give me something, so I suggested she meet me at my hotel just after my expected ETA.

I drove down and parked up at the Victoria Centre North car park , and plugged into the chargers there. I was going to be naughty and block a charger all night, as I wouldn't be sober enough to move the car after it had finished. But they are usually all empty soon after the shopping centre closes anyway.

Met Joanna in reception, and got my free glass of bubbly from the reception, then I went on a bit of a walk to find my room. There were lots of doors, I was right at the back somewhere. The room was nice though, and although cosy had everything I needed.  I did a quick 5 minute outfit change, met back up with Joanna and headed into the Mc Donalds next to the hotel for a quick Mc Plant to help soak up the alcohol I planned on consuming.

We headed to the Foresters which was pretty empty, and headed outside where we  met up with Simone. 

It seemed it was just going to be the three of us for a while, but I had seen some FB questions from two of the Chameleons girls , Gemma and Natasha who were on there way.  We went back inside after a while and found they had arrived and they were sat inside with a regular and a new lady.

Joanna left as she had to be up early, and we headed outside to sit at a table in the fab lower area. A few more turned up and joined us there, a trans guy Kendrick who was lovely, Jean, Imogen and Lizzy. 

We all had a really good time chatting, I got some nice compliments on my Shein dress, some mock anger that I was able to fit into it, as they also wanted the same one, but it wasn't in their size.

Some new younger people came over and joined us - one had sort of talked to me earlier in the evening, but I wasn't really sure if they were a chaser to start with. I felt a bit guilty about that later.

Jean and Simone left, then Imogen and Lizzy and it was just the two younger ones, Kendrick, Gemma and Natasha and myself left. Me and Kendrick were fairly sober still, we had a good chat about music, he was really nice.

Gemma was a bit worse for wear, towards the end, and Natasha was not exactly sober, but I couldn't really do much to help, they both got home OK in the end though.  I had joked with Kendrick that I would never forgive him if he left me on my own to deal with them - he left anyway 🤣

I left shortly after him, and he was still outside waiting for a cab, so I got to say goodbye at least.

I wobbled back to the hotel, via a takeaway to get some cheesy chips, unfortunately they only had 'cheese on chips' which is not quite the same. But I still managed to eat
most of it. 

I got back to the room at 2:30am looking at the time I took a picture of my chips - which is mandatory. 

I did notice that it was a lot quieter than normal, both in the Foresters, but also on the walk back to the hotel. Hopefully things will get back to normal soon !

Didn't bother with breakfast in the morning, and was able to get home before lunch. I popped into my local Co-op on the way back (still en femme) for bacon and bread, so I could at least have some fried greasy food. 

Tuesday 20th - Makeup Practise, outfit try on

With my failure on the lashes on the Friday, I decided I should re-try.  I bought some different tweezers , and I watched some more YouTube videos for tips.

I also wanted to try some different bra options for a halter neck dress I had bought. It's possibly a bit too big for me, but I will wear it anyway. I have a halter neck bra, and I also bought some clear straps for my multiway one.  

The multiway looks better, but I had an incident where I needed to bend over to pick something up and my right boob fell out !! - well more than one incident actually. So I may go with the halter neck bra.

It went well this time, I got the lashes on OK - I wasn't able to re-use the set I had tried for Invasion, they were ruined, caked in glue. So I went for the next size up.

I was also trying some KIKO Lipstick, colour : 421  , which I really like ! An Insta friend was raving about it.

Weekend Plans

It's my Birthday tomorrow (23rd) , and I am going to Stockport Beer and Cider festival with two trans friends who also went to the Lincoln one. Bagged a cheap room so I can enjoy a few. Probably going to wear the dress I tried on Tuesday for the day. But we are also planning on going glamorous for the evening, just to stand out a bit more - so I am taking sequin ones for that.

Hopefully it will be a nice day/night.  

Observation of emotion

Thursday Trans-Wakefield

Due to family visiting, working late and my usual TV watch-along on Skype with friends I didn't get chance to dress until Thursday evening - 12 days.

It's been a while since I had such a gap. It was very nice to be able to do so.

It was a nice meeting, I spoke to a nice trans guy who I had seen briefly at a previous one, and also caught up with Nicole.

She had been to a play in Leeds that sounded good - trans themed, something about and angry inch - botched gender surgery was involved. I need to look it up.

It was just nice to be out after so long, I treated myself to some cheesy chips :)

Friday - Brianna Nottingham vigil / Pre-Invasion

I was always intending to do Invasion, but I was checking the group Facebook page around 4pm and
saw there was a vigil for Brianna  at 7pm and some would be going to that before hand , so I rushed to get ready early to make it down for that.

My outfit and wig choice was not ideal for 'blending' , but I have become less bothered by this in recent times.

Knee high boots and the platinum blonde wig do make one stand out a bit. I was in such a rush i forgot to apply mascara !

I managed to get down and parked at the shopping centre in Nottingham for 6:50pm , got the car charging and made swift progress to the Brian Clough statue with the assistance of google maps.

On passing a club with three bouncers out the front, one of them started chanting in a low , but audible voice "it's a man, it's a man"

Which I sort of found amusing at the time, but I was on a mission to get there on time, and had no pre-scripted witty retort at hand, so kept on motoring. I mention purely for record keeping purposes than being majorly offended - outfit choice, walking pace, probably couldn't have been more obvious without carrying my flag - which I didn't bring.

There was quite a large crowd there, I circled the periphery looking for anyone I recognised, but failed so found a spot to stand. The people leading were speaking for bits, but I really couldn't hear a word they were saying. 

Did eventually see two Invasion people who I briefly spoke to before they headed to the pub.  I stayed a bit longer, and we did a minutes silence.

I left shortly afterwards, didn't end up walking past the bouncers in the end, probably wouldn't have said anything to them if I did.

Decided to go get a Mc Plant , as had also skipped food to get there early.  Chap in the next booth asked me to look after his stuff while he nipped to the loo, he was nice and called me 'love' 

Then figured would see if anywhere was still open in the shopping centre to find mascara - tried the Tesco express, couldn't find any so found a female employee to ask - they didn't sell any makeup though, she was trying to think of any other shops that would, but didn't think there would be.

She was really nice and said my eyes looked great and I didn't need any :) which was lovely.

Invasion

There were quite a few of my regular friends not attending that evening, which is bad in some ways, but good in others. It forces me to try and make new ones :) 

Was very successful I think, there were a few periods where I was on my own chatting on my phone, but also plenty of interactions too. 

On arriving I joined Danni who I had seen at the vigil and had talked to briefly to at the previous one, and then again at the last LFF.

She is really nice, full of energy - looks and acts a lot younger than she professes to be. She read out a poem she had written about Brianna too. 

Sounds like she lost her phone last night from messages on the group chat though.

Got talking with a lady who I had met before, turns out she organises group meetups in Blackpool, so I gave her my number as I would love to do Blackpool, she said she would send details of the next planned trip.

Had a nice compliment about my hair from a young cis girl in the loos - was tempted to tell her where I got it from :)

I was mainly on Old Mout alcohol free cider, but I did also have a 'weak' free shot of something red. My mouth tastes like I've been on a session, and I don't feel too fresh today, I think probably due to the late night rather than anything else.

Towards the end of the night I got chatting to with a girl who was also driving and parked in the same place as me. 

She has a young child so doesn't get out as much anymore, but used to be very active on the social scene and turns out she had been influential in getting one of the other I knew out for the first time.

We both left at midnight to go back to the carpark together and swapped numbers, she seemed really nice.

I left a bit after midnight and because the car was fully charged I treated myself to a 70Mph journey and having the heating on, such decadence.

Saturday - Leeds vigil

I decided that it would still be good to get to Leeds, and with it being the last weekend of half term it would also be good to get the family out of the house for a bit too. So I enquired if they would like a lift into Leeds to go around the armouries, while I was at the vigil.

Although I wouldn't be with them for a lot of the time, I guess it still counts as being out with me, in which case this is only the third occurrence, so still pretty rare.

As it was going to be in broad daylight, and on a busy shopping day, I went with the brown wig this

time - I also remembered to do my mascara.

Traffic and a queue to get into the Trinity car park caused me to be marching at pace to get to the venue yet again - it was a 3pm start.  But I don't think I hadn't missed anything. 

It was in the park in 'Park Square', (we are very inventive with names around here). There were a lot of people there, a little gazebo with a PA system 

and sound guy. There were people floating about with very big camera's, not sure if they were TV people, or just pro video for social media etc.

It started with a bit of an intro going over her life, as short as it was, and history. Then a minutes silence with some singing - apparently they had circulated lyrics so people could join in, but I didn't see any. 

Then there was a long line of people wanting to speak. Some teens of a similar age sharing their experiences, an MP, a ex CEO of Gender GP, someone who I had seen in the pub at Wakefield but had never spoken to. The angels of freedom were patrolling too which was nice - they volunteer to look after people late at night in the freedom quarter. 

I'm a little deaf and some people were not that great at speaking into the microphone so I was straining to hear some - but there was a Scottish poet who came on, who took full advantage of the additional amplification (they would have been heard without it) to have their very heartfelt poem echoing off the buildings around the square, a memory that will stick with me for sure - really need to find who they were.

There were some strong emotions, "F*ck Terf's" was said by many people, and was also one of the song lyrics.

But there were positive messages, saying it was OK to be angry, but perhaps to try and use it for positive actions. 

I was there an hour, I hadn't worn my big black coat as it seemed a bit like funeral wear, and we had been asked to wear bright clothes - my leather jacket wasn't bright, but it did allow more of my pink polka dots to be seen, the organisers had requested pink and colourful to match her personality.

It had been spitting on and off, so I was getting quite cold, and the armouries shuts at 5pm, so I headed off just after 4pm. I think they said it was going on YouTube so I might see if I can catch the speakers I missed on there.

I met back up with the family and we drove home via KFC. 

It was good to go, as one of the speakers had said, it's a shame we have to all meet under such sad circumstances. I guess will have sparkle to look forward to for a more positive similar occasion. I wonder if she got the chance to go to any.

I am still dressed at the moment as I type which is nice, so often I am in man mode recounting Izzy activities rather than as me.

I've never been to a vigil before, it's a shame I ever have had to really. It was good to feel part of something, and to be with similar people and supporters though. 

I felt sad, and angry but clearly not as much as others there. I guess we all respond differently.

The Enemy Within

Monday brain dump - the time of writing 

I was very angry to hear of the cross dressing flasher in Nottingham who had been posting pictures of themselves online.  Link to Story. 

I go out around Nottingham, I've used the House of Frazer loo's next to that Café (they were horrible), I park in that shopping centre car park. Even putting the reputational damage on a wider scale to one side, what is it going to do for local safety of those that go out around Nottingham now.

I mean there is never a good time for a story like this to come out, but right now is not ideal. There is enough on at the moment. Seems like trans people are being used as a pawn to fight other battles. Likely to lose out whatever happens.

I've had to unfollow someone on Insta this morning who showed a very partially obscured pic of their member. There is so much ammunition floating about on the internet for critics to find.

It's all very depressing, I've got cold feet enough about what to do at the moment, lots going around my head, and this is just more negativity to skew the internal debate. 

Such topics include the firm favourites "Was this all a huge mistake" , "Is it time to slam the handbrake on ?" -  not likely to be filling any bin bags soon, but the hair growing feels like I am being more obvious than ever before, I've got a big work do coming up, the parents in law are here in Feb, and there are clippers upstairs....

On the flip side my positive voice was contemplating gender GP on my weekend walk.

Previous Thursday - Trans Wakefield

Phillipa wasn't there, and I didn't really seem to get going with social interaction, I spoke a bit with Christine the leader. It was still nice, but I do find it a lot easier when Philippa is there. No sign of the trans man who I met a month ago ish ? They were nearer my age and I found them easy to talk to. 

I didn't do the quiz, but did have some cheesy chips, I wasn't hungry until everyone else's orders started coming and the smell got me.

It was nice to be dressed properly again, it had been a few weeks, what with the laser messing up the first Chams of the year, and the weekend after it. 

Friday Afternoon - a visit to a gallery

I was on leave, and raring to go out somewhere, but I didn't have a firm plan. 

By the time I had got ready it was past midday, and my tummy dictated it should have a nice café. 

So I decided on a local art/sculpture gallery - 'The Hepworth'.  

I walked from the car park , over the canal bridge and past the window for the galleries café, noting that it seemed very busy in there. Seems there was a private event starting at 1:30, using up the whole of gallery 3.  It used to be free entry, but they have started charging for those outside Wakefield, the chap seemed a bit flustered, not sure if it was due to me, but got my ticket sorted anyway.

They had a weird system, menu's on the table, but nothing at the counter, so I ordered a hot chocolate first then sat down to peruse the menu. Got myself some posh toast with jam and butter, it had been soaked in tea I think, had fruit in it. It was nice. 

Went  upstairs to the galleries and had a good look around - except for the one I couldn't get in. 

There was a photographer Hannah Starkey exhibiting with some really good prints that were blown up
on big aluminium panels. Really enjoyed those, there were some more abstract and weird things kicking about that really didn't connect with me at all. 

It's not a big place, so I wasn't there that long, but it was nice to get out and see the photo's. I got back around 3pm.

Friday Evening - Nottingham Invasion

I had a bite to eat, then put some eye shadow and changed my outfit for the evening. I prefer the platinum blonde wig for looking more eye catching on a night out. 

I tried on a few outfits, but settled on the black Quiz bodycon dress with the Diamante details. Tried it with the biker boots and leather jacket, was quite pleased with the combo.

Managed to get down to Nottingham for 7:45 ish, and plugged my car in at the Victoria Centre north car park as normal, and walked to the pub.  Ann had arrived shortly before me, and Simone was there too, so I had people to talk to.  

A new girl (new to Invasion) came over and I got talking with her for a bit, possibly I had seen her at Leeds before, but I don't recall ever speaking to her, she was really nice. 

They were giving out free shots at the bar, I could only really have one drink, so I had one of those and a shandy early on. Not sure what it was, didn't taste too bad, but not going to get in the habit. 

It was past 9pm and Simone called next bar, and myself Jean and Ann headed off towards the Lord Roberts. We found a nice corner in there and had a good chat for a while. Some of the others eventually made it over, and joined us. They were a bit more merry, but was still fun. Had some crisps and a few alcohol free ales , and we headed off back to the Foresters when they were kicking out. 

It was quite cold , the jacket was a poor choice, style over practicality. I had a coke in the Foresters to wake me up a bit more, and then said my goodbyes. I think i was just after midnight perhaps when I left. I got home before 2am.  Didn't need to charge on the way back.

It was really nice to get to know Jean a bit better, and to chat with other new people - and obviously catch up with Ann, so a pretty successful night really. 

Saturday and Sunday

Saturday I did very little, was quite tired from the late night on Friday, I did a bit of tinkering in the car, some housework, that's about it. My wife had hurt her back, so didn't suggest going out anywhere. 

On Sunday I started a slow cooker spicy sausage casserole in the morning, had a slimfast for lunch, and then headed out on a walk. It was just over 12km, around New Miller Dam lake, stopping off for a nice Mocha at the café on the lake.

The first half of the walk I was listening to my audiobook, narrated by the lovely Sophie Aldred - she is really very good. After the café I left the book alone, did some pondering, nice to not have any distractions. 

Was contemplating the question of signing up for gender GP. It will take a long time for hormones to have much effect, and I know of a few who have abandoned them fairly quickly because of issues. I wonder if it is worth a try. Maybe I am not in the right place yet. 

 

Eyebrows and social updates

Eyebrows

These were something I really worried about when I was first starting to go out. Using glue to cover, and templates to draw back on. I have plucked mine fairly drastically, and had been free styling drawing over them with a brown eyebrow pencil and wavy felt tip with 5 points to simulate hairs. 

But I wasn’t that pleased with them. So I have been looking at different techniques, and stumbled across this video demonstration. The lady they did it on had fairly bushy eyebrows and it didn’t seem that good, but when I did it on my own I was pleased with the results :

https://feminizationsecrets.com/feminize-male-to-female-eyebrows/

Trying to do this from now on, will see what feedback I get. I also need to experiment with making the ends more pointy - I've bought brushes and powder but not tried yet.

I also did try some more discrete nail varnish, it's sort of stone coloured, doesn't stand out much at all. Wore it in man mode to Asda without even thinking.

Saturday Night (15th Oct)

I felt the need to be sociable, so figured I would try the Wakefield bar that the
Trans-Wakefield meeting is normally held in, perhaps just go for a few drinks and see if could engage with anyone.

I had been once before on a random night, but it turned out to be a birthday party for the group leader that night, and so ended up with the group again. Not that I am trying to avoid them, but it is nice to talk to non-trans people too.

I got a drink and then sat down on my own, and ended up on my phone. Realised I had a big credit card bill to pay, so ended up sorting my finances for a while.

After a while one of the regulars had noticed me, and decided to come over and talk to me, a lady called Magenta – she loves Rocky Horror :)

So began my welcome into the group of regulars, she took me under her wing and made me feel very welcome. We chatted for a long time, about her youth and coming out as a lesbian at school, and myself about my own situation. It was really nice.

There was a drag act on that night too, with some lip sync battles, I was thinking of heading off, but she had been roped into performing, and wanted me to stay to watch – so I did. She was quite good, but she didn’t seem to think so :)

So I was still there at 1am when the bar stopped serving. The older drag queen came over and chatted, and did invite me to go to a club with them all – but I figured I best go home, as was pretty tired. Definitely going to try and stay out longer with them next time.

Thursday (20th Oct)

This was the normal Trans-Wakefield meetup. It started pretty slow, the people I would normally talk to were not there, so I had to try and talk with some others. They are all mainly a lot younger than me, aside from the leader and one other lady. So I don’t find it that easy.

We ended up sat around the corner from the main bar, playing an online game that involves a statement with requires one of more rude - or not politically correct answers from a set of virtual cards you are dealt. ( https://cardsagainstonline.com/ )

It was quite fun – but did mean we didn’t participate in the Quiz, or mingle much with the regulars. So I didn’t get much chance to talk to Magenta again, although I did wave. I am thinking of going back this coming Saturday night.

Friday (21st)

This was the Nottingham invasion, I had a hotel room booked for the first time –
the Premier on Goldsmith street. Normally I drive, sip coke all night, and then head home sometime after midnight. But I fancied giving it a proper chance as a night out, and having some social lubricant. It was a pretty good night. Ann was coming along too which was nice, as she is lovely to talk with – and also she had recovered my charging cable too, so I needed to get that back.

I got ready pretty quickly, and go down there for 7:30pm, and managed to get checked in OK. The premier inn wasn’t that far from the venue, so was able to get there for 8:00ish. Met up with Rebecca, and Ann and a new girl Sophie who I had not spoken to before. Simone, Danielle, Dee, Helen and Gabby showed up a bit later.

We had a few in there, then Simone had decided to get a few of us out invading, so a group of I think 7 of us ended up going out to a few pubs. The first place was the “Six Barrel Drafthouse” a sort of hipster place, IPA’s mainly, the bar man was trying to be nice – he asked us what it was like to be a woman ….. how do you answer that really.

Then we did a walk into the centre and went to a sort of clubby type bar “Revolution Cornerhouse”. It was a bit hard to talk, so Ann and myself left a bit early, and went back to the New Foresters via KFC. I hadn’t eaten much so was pretty hungry. It was really slow service in there.

I stayed at the pub for another hour, then decided to head back to the hotel, said my goodbyes and got back without incident.

Had a nice cooked breakfast in the morning, then decided to have a mooch around the town centre for a bit, partly to make sure I was OK to drive. Had a look around M&S for tights as I had laddered my black ones the previous week, but didn’t see any I liked.

Set off home around 11am, stopping off at the “Hickorys Smokehouse” at Nuthall to charge my car.

Foxxing Chargers !!!

Thursday night was Nottingham Chameleons night -  I was hoping to sneak off work early to get ready, but I had some important things to fix before I signed off for the week so wasn't able to in the end.

Had a shower and shave, and did some basic makeup. I had a Vinted delivery in the morning which I was excited to wear out - another jumper dress, but with blue on it, which I though would go well with my blue suede boots

Got there fairly early in the end, and then had the fun of attempting to get the charging app to allow me to start a charge. I failed for 5 minutes, then thought I would just plug the car in, then continue from the comfort of the meeting room in the community centre.

I did eventually get it to start charging....

The meeting itself was a bit different, as there was a guy in from Nottingham NHS's Sexual Health Services. So he had the floor for the first hour. It was mainly a fact finding mission for him to get ideas on how to make their services more accessible. 

He seemed to be getting a lot of good things from the members, but he wasn't writing anything down, and seemed to want us to email him with everything discussed. But he was nice enough, and seems likely we will see him again.

Once he had left it was tea and chatting, and fairy cakes to celebrate Val's birthday, which were very nice indeed. I made a point of going to chat to a younger looking new girl who seemed quite nervous. I'm not so good at that sort of thing, but did chat for a while, we didn't seem to have much in common, but she seemed to appreciate it. I hope to get better by practising :)

Also managed to chat to another newbie who had arrived later, but it was just as everyone was getting ready to leave. It was her first trip out of the house I believe, Sophie. She had gone to a lot of effort with her makeup, I think contributing to her arriving late. She seemed really nice. 

Wandered back to the car, and attempted to unplug from the charger. But it seems it really really really loved my cable and didn't want to give it back. So after lots of messing, I had to leave it there. Fortunately was able to unplug from the car, so wasn't trapped there.

I managed to get through to someone at the church this morning, and they say it happens about 25% of the time and is possibly because I didn't stop the charge on the app before attempting to unplug, and they are getting some instructions drawn up. Getting a friend to collect from them tomorrow, which was very kind of them to offer. 

I have an even slower 13amp plug charger I can use in the meantime, so not a massive issue, but it's worth about £100 so I need my normal cable back.

I don't think I will be using that one again......

Work this week has been OK, I had to go to Burton on Wednesday just to show my face, as we are all expected to do office days occasionally. It would be fantastic if the days where it's good for me to be there coincided with Chams, but this has only happened once so far.

There is a pub meetup in Ripley on the 1st Wednesday of the month, I may also see if I can do an office day for that, then get changed to attend that one. I've done it once before, it wasn't a bad meet. 

Other things this week - a lovely lady had found this blog on the Chams site, and has been reading through, and we have had a few nice emails back and forth. I may have a pen pal !

Don't think she is at the point of coming to a meeting yet, but maybe I will get to see her one day too.

Great to know that other people are reading this though, and getting something from it, I really only have the presence of a comment to know for sure that anyone has read it, so I was most pleased to find others had, and enjoyed.

A Second Chance for a Last Dance

This was an event organised by the 'Friends Of Marian' which is a play on the 'Friends of Dorothy' but with the Marian robin hood character instead. 

It's aim is to allow queer people who who for a variety of reasons were not able to go to a 'prom' in their youth. We didn't really have proms anyway at our school, so I guess prom just means 'being glamorous'.

For example if you grew up under section 28 , or you just didn't come out until later life.

It's the first year they have done this, and it sold out. Seemed likely it will be happening again next year. It was held at 'The New Forester's' in Nottingham, which is the main LGBTQ+ pub in city. 

One of my Insta friends who I spent an afternoon with at Manchester pride a few months ago had let me know about it (Romile), and I had initially decided to go just to meet up with them really. There was another insta friend who lived in Nottingham who also decided to go too. I had also mentioned it to my friend Danielle, and she also turned up.

I drove down, and charged at Tibshelf on the way - I had got a new phone and I had a sudden panic I wouldn't be able to use the chargers in Nottingham if I couldn't get the app to work. 

I was nearly there and then discovered that the locals were having a Goose Fair, which made a total mess of traffic, and I spent 30 mins attempting a diversion I could see might work on my sat nav.

I was a bit flustered when I eventually arrived and parked. I walked briskly to the pub, which was a lot harder with the restrictions of the dress. 

When I arrived it just seemed like a normal night, but I was in a much fancier dress than everyone else, but it turned out the event was in some marquee's out the back of the pub, so I needed to go out the back door and down some steps. 

Was very happy to see lots of dresses, mostly more extravagant than mine, but mine was still on theme. 

I was glad I had taken my cheap gold jacket to give me some additional insulation, as it wasn't that warm. The dress itself was also really quite thick, a very odd stretchy material. It was one that I bought with LFF in mind.

I met up with one of my friends, and we got chatting with someone who had come all the way from the south coast. This was one of their first socials, they were very friendly and chatty. Danielle and Romile turned up a bit later, and we had a catch up. Romile had also seemed to have a friend with her, an older lady who was also on her first social outing.

Then we got ushered into the big marquee for some entertainment, a drag show and some burlesque. It was probably really good, but I am a bit of a dwarf, the stage wasn't very high, and I was at the back so I didn't see much. 

The 2nd half of the entertainment was similar - there was a raffle drawn at the end, with an amusing double act running it.  I didn't win anything. But it did seem like a lot of the winners were known to the organisers - I don't mean that it was rigged, more that it was evident that it was a community of people who knew each other. 

I am somewhat of an outsider to the LGBTQ+ community in Nottingham really, only ever really mingling with the T-Folk, so it was good to witness this, and feel a part of it. I do have a little bit of this with Wakefield, having done pride, and with their group being in the local LGBTQ+ bar.

We ended the night chatting in one of the marquee's - the music had to stop at 11pm due to noise restrictions, and we had all had enough. Did some hugging and said our goodbyes outside the pub towards 11:30.  I set off home, avoiding the Goose fair this time, and got home for about 1am.

I hadn't eaten much before I left, so I had cheese on toast before bed while feeling very overdressed for food preparation :)

All in all a nice night, and I didn't drink so no hangover to contend with ! Would definitely consider going back again,

 

The new 'New Foresters'

 

Decided to go to the Nottingham Invasion again, as I had the Friday off, and could get ready a bit early. I needed to get my hair cut in the morning, and had a bit of a smooch around Wakefield in man mode for that.

I am attempting to grow it on the top, to perhaps end up with a bit of a swept over undercut look, which might work OK in both modes. He sort of put me off the undercut though, he left it long on top with no 2 on the sides, but it sort of blends in. Will see how it grows.

I was contemplating going to Nottingham early and having a look around, but it would have meant either changing for the evening, or going in something that was OK for both. Decided just to go for the evening in the end.

The dress I chose was nice, but has some weird elastic that sort of seemed to want to expose me ! 

Managed to get the chargers working in the car park, the Victoria Centre North one - there was a review that said you could only pay with RFID, but I installed the app for the company and was able to start a charge via that once I had faffed about adding a credit card to it.

The meeting pub 'The New Foresters' has recently changed hands, and there was some concern it would lose it's LGBT+ status, but it seems to be even better than it was before.

They have a great neon sign in the beer garden for a start !  Couldn't get full advantage of it, as there were a group of fairly drunk people sat in front of it, but there will be more opportunities.

It was a fairly good turnout, and met up with a few people I knew, and also had some conversations with some that were new to me. Got a nice FB message from one who added me the next day. Sold some of them on the idea of LFF, so perhaps will see them there too.

I had tried to get one of the twitch streamers I follow to attend, but she bailed, but think she's going to LFF next time.

The people who normally end up with the role of herding us around Nottingham didn't seem to be there that night, so we spent all of it in the pub. But it was still a really nice night. They had a singer on too who seemed pretty good. Better than the Karaoke they used to have on. 

I left about midnight, it's over an hour to get home from there, so it's best to set off before getting too tired.