The Enemy Within

Monday brain dump - the time of writing 

I was very angry to hear of the cross dressing flasher in Nottingham who had been posting pictures of themselves online.  Link to Story. 

I go out around Nottingham, I've used the House of Frazer loo's next to that Café (they were horrible), I park in that shopping centre car park. Even putting the reputational damage on a wider scale to one side, what is it going to do for local safety of those that go out around Nottingham now.

I mean there is never a good time for a story like this to come out, but right now is not ideal. There is enough on at the moment. Seems like trans people are being used as a pawn to fight other battles. Likely to lose out whatever happens.

I've had to unfollow someone on Insta this morning who showed a very partially obscured pic of their member. There is so much ammunition floating about on the internet for critics to find.

It's all very depressing, I've got cold feet enough about what to do at the moment, lots going around my head, and this is just more negativity to skew the internal debate. 

Such topics include the firm favourites "Was this all a huge mistake" , "Is it time to slam the handbrake on ?" -  not likely to be filling any bin bags soon, but the hair growing feels like I am being more obvious than ever before, I've got a big work do coming up, the parents in law are here in Feb, and there are clippers upstairs....

On the flip side my positive voice was contemplating gender GP on my weekend walk.

Previous Thursday - Trans Wakefield

Phillipa wasn't there, and I didn't really seem to get going with social interaction, I spoke a bit with Christine the leader. It was still nice, but I do find it a lot easier when Philippa is there. No sign of the trans man who I met a month ago ish ? They were nearer my age and I found them easy to talk to. 

I didn't do the quiz, but did have some cheesy chips, I wasn't hungry until everyone else's orders started coming and the smell got me.

It was nice to be dressed properly again, it had been a few weeks, what with the laser messing up the first Chams of the year, and the weekend after it. 

Friday Afternoon - a visit to a gallery

I was on leave, and raring to go out somewhere, but I didn't have a firm plan. 

By the time I had got ready it was past midday, and my tummy dictated it should have a nice café. 

So I decided on a local art/sculpture gallery - 'The Hepworth'.  

I walked from the car park , over the canal bridge and past the window for the galleries café, noting that it seemed very busy in there. Seems there was a private event starting at 1:30, using up the whole of gallery 3.  It used to be free entry, but they have started charging for those outside Wakefield, the chap seemed a bit flustered, not sure if it was due to me, but got my ticket sorted anyway.

They had a weird system, menu's on the table, but nothing at the counter, so I ordered a hot chocolate first then sat down to peruse the menu. Got myself some posh toast with jam and butter, it had been soaked in tea I think, had fruit in it. It was nice. 

Went  upstairs to the galleries and had a good look around - except for the one I couldn't get in. 

There was a photographer Hannah Starkey exhibiting with some really good prints that were blown up
on big aluminium panels. Really enjoyed those, there were some more abstract and weird things kicking about that really didn't connect with me at all. 

It's not a big place, so I wasn't there that long, but it was nice to get out and see the photo's. I got back around 3pm.

Friday Evening - Nottingham Invasion

I had a bite to eat, then put some eye shadow and changed my outfit for the evening. I prefer the platinum blonde wig for looking more eye catching on a night out. 

I tried on a few outfits, but settled on the black Quiz bodycon dress with the Diamante details. Tried it with the biker boots and leather jacket, was quite pleased with the combo.

Managed to get down to Nottingham for 7:45 ish, and plugged my car in at the Victoria Centre north car park as normal, and walked to the pub.  Ann had arrived shortly before me, and Simone was there too, so I had people to talk to.  

A new girl (new to Invasion) came over and I got talking with her for a bit, possibly I had seen her at Leeds before, but I don't recall ever speaking to her, she was really nice. 

They were giving out free shots at the bar, I could only really have one drink, so I had one of those and a shandy early on. Not sure what it was, didn't taste too bad, but not going to get in the habit. 

It was past 9pm and Simone called next bar, and myself Jean and Ann headed off towards the Lord Roberts. We found a nice corner in there and had a good chat for a while. Some of the others eventually made it over, and joined us. They were a bit more merry, but was still fun. Had some crisps and a few alcohol free ales , and we headed off back to the Foresters when they were kicking out. 

It was quite cold , the jacket was a poor choice, style over practicality. I had a coke in the Foresters to wake me up a bit more, and then said my goodbyes. I think i was just after midnight perhaps when I left. I got home before 2am.  Didn't need to charge on the way back.

It was really nice to get to know Jean a bit better, and to chat with other new people - and obviously catch up with Ann, so a pretty successful night really. 

Saturday and Sunday

Saturday I did very little, was quite tired from the late night on Friday, I did a bit of tinkering in the car, some housework, that's about it. My wife had hurt her back, so didn't suggest going out anywhere. 

On Sunday I started a slow cooker spicy sausage casserole in the morning, had a slimfast for lunch, and then headed out on a walk. It was just over 12km, around New Miller Dam lake, stopping off for a nice Mocha at the café on the lake.

The first half of the walk I was listening to my audiobook, narrated by the lovely Sophie Aldred - she is really very good. After the café I left the book alone, did some pondering, nice to not have any distractions. 

Was contemplating the question of signing up for gender GP. It will take a long time for hormones to have much effect, and I know of a few who have abandoned them fairly quickly because of issues. I wonder if it is worth a try. Maybe I am not in the right place yet.