The doctor

 

Addendum to previous post 

I forgot to talk about the rest of the bank holiday weekend in the week before LFF !

Sunday I went to the Yorkshire Air Museum near York with my wife and youngest son.  It was really good, had a nice lunch in the café. We spent a good few hours wandering around. 

On our way back we popped into the designer outlet, and I got some dresses from Joe Browns, and also some active wear from M&S. My wife even picked out a dress for me in Joe Browns.  It was really good to be out with them, and felt very natural.

I went running En-femme on the Monday which in many ways was much more scarier than the swimming. I was out on secluded footpaths, potentially at the mercy of vagabonds, teenagers and burly dog walkers. 

I didn't see that many people, but being out alone isn't something you see women do a lot of, and I didn't feel as safe as being out in a town.

I had bought a pink top from M&S the previous day, and I had on my boy mode cap, jogging bottoms and a grey running top. Minimal makeup similar to swimming. 

I have since purchased a pink running jacket to femme up a bit, and some shorts with an inner lining - they are quite baggy so hoping will disguise any lumps ! The shorts won't make an appearance until it get's much warmer though.

Doctors 

I blocked out my work calendar the hour before to ensure I had enough time to put some makeup on. I had chosen skinny black jeans, a tunic top and a leather jacket, paired with my high heeled docs. I feel safer in the docs :)

I parked in the Aldi next door to the surgery, and walked over. The receptionist was on the phone, but the nurse came over and talked to me, she was very friendly - I told her in as quiet a voice as I could, that I would be down on the list as Andrew, but would appreciate if they shouted out Isobel.  

I was in the waiting room for what seemed like forever, I think half an hour or so, but eventually my name did get called - I was just waiting for them to screw it up, but thankfully they didn't.  Kept my head down and didn't really interact with anyone. Nobody seemed to be paying me any attention.

The doctor was nice, he did use my male name , but I don't think I had actually told him my preferred one so he couldn't really have used anything else.  I explained what I wanted - well I led with the GIC referral. He wanted some history, and he had a bash at asking the sort of questions that I got from Gender GP  -  earliest memories , when did I start dressing, did I feel like I wanted to be a woman etc.

He was happy to refer me in the end.  I had a bit of trouble giving him the name of the centre, as it's called one thing on the website and another on the referral form, but I think I gave them enough.  I've also emailed over the form I partially completed for them.

I also asked for blood tests, and he's given me the paperwork to book those, but I haven't done so yet.

All in all a very positive experience ! I came out feeling very happy - I kind of wish I had done it sooner, but I seem to take a while to build up the confidence for some things.

Adventures 

Milton Keynes 

I couldn't face the drive to Nottingham, then back, then back past it in the morning, so I decided to give Chams a miss - I could have got a hotel I guess, but I really need to spend less.

I charged at Donnington Park on the way down, only adding 20% or so, I just needed a bit of safety margin. 

I arrived to meet my friend at the train station for 1pm , left my car charging at the old bus station. We did a short drive to an area with lots of bars and food places.  Had a few drinks and a game of pool at a Brewdog, then onwards to Weatherspoon's for a cheap lunch.

After food I drove us to the hotel, where we freshened up for bit, then headed out around Fenny Stratford in search of a decent pub.  We looked in a few, but settled on 'Chequers', which was rather quaint , but friendly and did real ales.  We only had the one in there, before heading back to the hotel to get some food.

I had gammon and chips, and Bennie got them to do her a jacket potato which wasn't on the menu but wasn't an issue.

After this we got changed for the evening, and headed back to the hotel bar - the Karaoke guy was
setting up, and the room gradually filled with other girls.  We got talking to a number, a lot of them new Bennie, but I didn't really know many at all.  One of them on the table next to us was itching to do Karaoke, but didn't want to monopolise the floor, so was very pleased when Bennie decided to go up - she did Buck Rodgers by Feeder.  I stood next to her and filmed it :)

I had enough lubrication by this point to consider doing it myself - I can't sing and had never done Karaoke, so was totally qualified.  We decided upon Paradise City by Guns and Roses, I don't know why it's quite complicated and goes on forever. It was quite a while before it was our turn, and I was a bit nervous, but we did go up and 'perform'. 

I was truly awful, I do have an audio recording, but nobody is ever hearing that ....

After 10pm the club opens, and we headed over there.  The evening was spent taking selfies, drinking cocktails and schmoozing with the southern girls.  Bennie and a few others did some more Karaoke, but I didn't join in this time.  We had some cheesy chips about 2:30am - they were not that good, it was
more cheese on chips, than cheesy chips. It really should be melted cheese on top !

I think we left at 3:30 ish, and it was 4am before was in bed - luckily it's not much of a walk !

We had booked breakfast for the morning, so that really only gave  us 4 hours of sleep before it was time to put the makeup on for that !

We did manage to get up, and get ready by 9am, and had a nice breakfast. We popped over the road so I could get some footage of the Routemaster in the Pink Punters car park, then had a bit of a lay down for an hour.  My friends train wasn't till 1pm, and we didn't have to be out of the room until midday, so there was no rush.

I drove us to the station, and parked up, then we headed to a café for a tea as we had half an hour to
wait still.  Said our goodbyes and I hit the road.

The journey back up was fairly uneventful, aside from a charging issue at Donnington, It charged fine, and I went in to get some food, but after I came out and disconnected the car was not happy.

It had an error on the high voltage battery, and wouldn't do anything other than beep at me.

I googled the issue, and people seemed to suggest that the charger had left the car in an error state, and that leaving it for 10 mins would help, others suggested disconnecting the 12V battery. I looked at it, but I had no tools to remove the connector. 

So I figured I would try reconnecting the charger, and attempting to start a charge and then stop it again.  It wouldn't actually charge, and the unit showed an error communicating with the car. But when I removed the cable and tried the car again it had cleared the issue on the car.  

I haven't actually attempted to use a fast charger on it since, as i've only needed to top it up on my home one, but I will do this week, as I need to ensure it works fine for other trips I have planned for this month !

  

Heavy metal

 

General Updates

Have managed to get a new prescription from Gender GP, the changes to the their online systems were a bit concerning, as was an extra charge they had said they were adding to send it off to an online service (£5).  But I don't seem to have been charged it yet.

I have been on them for just over 6 months now, so this batch will take me to 9 months.

I spent a while last night filling in the GIC referral form for Nottingham. I am giving this to the doctor tommorow, in the hope it will get through his in tray a lot quicker. 

I have decided upon a tunic top, jeans, and my high heeled DM's for the visit, although I reserve the right to panic and change my mind at the last minute.

I will need to revert on my return, as I will be on a video call with 300+ people.

Adventures

Thursday - I was out around Wakefield with my friend Bennie, we had one drink at a pub near her house, then got an Uber into town and headed to the 'Sofra Turkish Grill'.

I had the 'Turkish Sausage' which was in a tomato sauce, followed by a 'Lamb Beyti' which seemed to be parcels of meat. Really enjoyed it, and my friend did too. 

We did a few pubs afterwards, Black Rock, Polka Hop and Luis bar, it was a pleasant evening.

In the morning we went to Gems café for a breakfast, then headed into Leeds.

Friday - Leeds

Pints and Straws was at 'Friends of Ham', 'Head of Steam (Mill hill)'  and 'Tapped'. We had a record
attendance, 16 I think in the end. I made sure to try and speak with a couple of newbies, but didn't get around everyone. We got a lovely review of it on TvChix.

It was quite amusing in that one of the newbies could only attend as they were on strike - they were a train driver :)  Quite a few girls had been unable to come due to train issues though.

For food I had a pizza at Tapped - ham and mushroom.

I wore a fab Phase 8 dress I had got from Vinted for the evening, it got a lot of compliments, and I was very pleased with how it looked on me.

In the evening we did :

• Bridge End Social 
• The Bridge Bar - where there was a 360 video service setup for us !
• The Viaduct
• The End
• Smokestack

I headed to bed at 1am ish, no cheesy chips this time. 

Saturday 

Met up with Bennie, Jen, Alex and Jade at the Bridge End Social for breakfast. I was nice, a bit too
much seasoning for me, but I will ask for less next time.

Had a nice chat with the other girls over drinks and the food.

Due to a fairly late start time, and quite a long cooking time we didn't actually finish breakfast until quite late, so it was soon time for us to head off.  Myself and Bennie had got a group on deal for axe throwing near Kirkstall at 1pm.

We got an Uber there which didn't take that long. The staff there were very friendly, once we had filled in the fairly long waiver we were shown to our lane and given a quick guide on how to throw.

I picked it up quite well, and we getting some decent scores pretty soon. It was not Bennies first time,
so I thought she would be beating me, but she had terrible luck with them not going in.  

We were there for an hour, I think we must have got about four games in - I had my new 360 camera recording for some of it, and I got some video which I have uploaded to YouTube.

When our session was over we walked to the brewery which according to my friend was only 5 minutes
away. 30 minutes later we arrived !  We had a few beers in there, and then got another Uber back into the city centre. 

After changing for the evening we went in search of food, and stumbled across 'Pizza Punks' where we had some nice Pizza.  Then onwards to Whitelocks, but we didn't like the look of it, as there was nowhere to sit. So we decided upon Northern Guitar.  

We watched some bands setup there while we enjoyed a drink, but the soundcheck was too much for my hearing, and we swiftly moved on before they actually began playing.

Banker Cat was the final pub of the day, and partly because it was nice in there and we got a seat, and partly because the heavens had opened we stayed in there for a couple. 

I was quite tired so was in bed before midnight again.

Sunday 

I should have tried to find something more healthy for breakfast, but we ended up at the
Weatherspoon's, and I had to try their cheap full English.  It was OK for the money, did feel a bit strange being in there so early with people drinking pints for breakfast though !

We didn't hang about long after breakfast, and set off for Wakefield. My friends train home was after lunch, so we went to a café for a drink to kill some time first.

I headed home after this. 

Did a bit of adulting in the afternoon, and then I headed out at 4:30 to another trans swimming session in Leeds. This was with a different group to the last time, and I was treated to an induction and a run through of their rules when I arrived. 

The other people were not as friendly as the previous group, and seemed to be mainly FTM. There was one person who seemed to have a few mobility issues, but enjoyed doing handstands under water. They got in the way a bit, and I had to swim around them a lot.

My friend Alex was there, but she was on a mission to swim her mile so we didn't talk. I managed 32 lengths at 22m each, so 704 meters, so 0.43 miles. I will try and get to the half mile this Sunday, which would be about 37 lengths.

 

Eau de Chlorine

I am overdue with a post again, most lax of me. 

Friday/Saturday last week

I was feeling quite down last weekend, lots of people were out having fun and I was at home. On Saturday I had taken Josephine over to my parents on a test drive but turns out they were out. 

Thankfully she performed mostly flawlessly on the drive, but there was a bit of niggle with the pressure switch for the brake lights, I noticed they were coming on when I didn't have my foot on the brake.  I think there must be some air still in the system which is expanding when everything gets warm. More fun in the garage this weekend then.

Sunday

Sunday I was due to go swimming at a LGBTQ+ session at 5:30pm. It was at Bramley baths in west Leeds, about 45 minutes drive from here.  I was feeling quite nervous about it actually, I had got ready by about 2pm, very minimal makeup as I wasn't sure how well it would cope with being wet.

https://www.bramleybaths.co.uk

I had put on primer all over, with some orange colour corrector on the beard shadow area - probably not required now but old habits die hard.  I only put foundation over this area, and blended it into the rest of my face. I had eyeliner on, and I drew my eyebrows on.  I had purchased, or been gifted some setting spray at Chameleons a while ago, and figured I would put some of this on top too - never used it before. I didn't bother with lipstick so had to clean off the foundation that had gone on the lips.  

I was pleased with the result, it was the least makeup I had ever dared present En femme outside the house in, but I still think I looked OK.

I arrived at 5pm , I always seem to turn up 30 minutes early everywhere - better than a frien
d of mine who is always 30 minutes late :) . Thankfully there were plenty of parking spaces, as I was worried I might have to find room on the road outside.

I waiting until about 5:15 to go in, as I didn't want to be hanging around by myself, I had seem a group of LGBTQ+ looking people go in a bit earlier though. After entering I spied Alex who I had been questioning about this session at LFF previously, and went and talked to her until we were told we could go into the pool.

Nipped to the loo first, then went towards the pool, we had to take our shoes off to enter, then once through the door you are in the main pool room. The changing booths are either side of the main axis, individual cubicles with a tiny seat and a hook, with lockers on the outside. 

I got changed, took a few selfies for posterity then ventured out.  There were already keen people in the pool, I went down the deep end ladder and got acclimatised. The skirt of the swimsuit floated up as I entered the water but soon when down when the air escaped.  

I must have done 20+ lengths of the pool, it is only a 22 meter one, so not full size. Alex told me that 47 is a mile, and she tries to do this when she goes.  I was knackered by the end, and was taking longer and longer breaks between each length.  Some of the other people did float over to introduce themselves, but it will be a good while of being reminded of them before I will remember them.

A good deal of the group were using it mainly as a social session, one was floating around in a ring, generally getting in the way of anyone trying to do lengths. There were only a few of us really attempting to get exercise done.  

My swimming technique has never been the best, and I was probably only going half the speed of some others, but it had been more than a decade since I last tried. I was doing breast stroke as that's the only one I mastered at school - I was the worst in the class.

When the session ended I returned to the cubicle and the first thing I did was get my phone to check I had some makeup left on - it looked the same as when I entered the pool, which was good !

Numerous muscles , tendons and other random bits have been taking great pleasure in reminding me that I really should have taken it a bit more steady on my first visit. But I hopefully have another week to recover before I do another session.

This group only does one Sunday a month, but there is another Leeds based group that does another two, so I should be able to do 3 sessions a month - and hopefully lose some weight ! 

I was on a bit of a high when I left, I didn't get to speak with Alex, it's a bit of an odd system , the exit takes you into a tiny room where you can put your shoes on, and then you have another door which takes you out of the building, you don't end up back in the entrance.

It was a really lovely beautiful old building though.

I have marked myself as 'Interested' on the FB group for the sessions early next month. 

Thursday - Chameleons

I was going dressed this time, so didn't set off massively early and arrived to find a few others already there. 

Had some a nice chat with Sally who hadn't been for a while - although I was convinced I had seen her at xmas, likely me being senile. Also fab to catch up with Ann and Debbie. 

There was also a new lady Abby who I knew from Instagram, she was quite nervous to start with, but towards the end of the evening seemed to have settled down and we had a nice chat. Hoping she comes back again.

The elderly lady who had transport difficulties last time seemed to be heading the same way again, and looked to spend the first hour of the meeting trying to organise her transport home on her phone ! Hopefully Lynn didn't have to offer her trans-uber service again.

The drive back was a lot better than last time, much less lane closures, still a fair bit of 50mph around Sheffield, but I was back by midnight. I was a bit hungry so ended up having cheese on toast, then was talking to an Insta friend until 1 am.

Today - Good Friday  

I braved putting a pic of Josephine on the Morris Minor owners group FB page 'Front end Friday' is a
thing that some people do, where they post a front on pic. I had been a bit hesitant as I wasn't sure what reception the trans-flag grille would get.

But I shouldn't have worried, I only got one negative comment, and they haven't clarified why they don't like the grille, it's possible it's because it's a non-original colour scheme, they haven't replied to my question about it yet.

I've just been to the Co-op in minimal makeup, not even colour corrector, but with a bit of foundation on the beard area, eyeliner and brows.  Felt quite liberating, didn't feel out of place. I had my leggings and top from Chams on, my blue swede boots and an old work fleece, no forms or bra and my hair tied in a pony tail.

Not sure what I will do this afternoon, perhaps look at the brakes. 

Repeat after me

 

General Updates

I have booked a doctors appointment with my GP for early April.  I had to repeat 'Gender Affirming Care' to the receptionist 3 times over the phone, she seemed quite confused. 

The aim is to try and get blood tests, so I can safely increase my dose, and go on blockers, but also get a referral to the GIC.  

I will be going En femme for maximum impact, in a smart work dress probably.  My friend Dannielle was sharing her knowledge on waiting times at Chams last week, and it looks like Nottingham is the best choice in terms of waiting times. So I will be downloading the referral paperwork to hand to him mostly completed.

I had laser last Wednesday, the lady noticed my boobs :) , it went well - machine was turned up to 11 on my face, really hurt, but that is good in that something is happening. I had gone into the office so I could nip over the road to go there at lunch.  

Other activities 

Chameleons - Thursday night

I had a really nice time, I got there quite early as I couldn't wear makeup and so was ready a lot quicker.  It was a really busy night, quite a few new faces, we were running out of chairs.

Lynn had fun times collecting the payments, and dealing with a less mobile member. 

Joanne had made the trek on the bus, was nice to see her in person - must have been quite a while since I last did. I also spent a lot of the night talking with Ann and Dannielle who I had also not seen for quite a while too. 

Traffic was pretty bad going home, lots of lane closures and speed restrictions, was a bit after midnight before I was back. 

Saturday - Leeds Alternative Market

I had mentioned to my wife on Friday that I was going into Leeds to have a look around the alternative
market, and was quite surprised that she wanted to come along. It usually seems like I am forcing any opportunity to dress in public with her and the kids, so was really nice for it to be her suggestion.

We arrived around lunchtime, parking in the trinity car park. We headed to Decathlon first, as the kids needed new trainers for school. I had a look around the swimming bit for a swim dress as I wanted to go to a trans session in Leeds later in the month, but they only had normal costumes. 

After this we went to McDonalds for some food, I had a McPlant. Got a funny look from a serious looking guy while we were sat down to eat, but he soon ignored me. 

Then we walked to the markets. The alternative market is on three times a year, March, July and October, but I don't think I had ever been before.  They are two zones with almost 90 vendors, so it's pretty big. 

I had a bit of a look around, and bought some fab vampire cat earrings, and also a candle. My wife and boys were not that interested, so they went to look at the sweet stalls in the normal part while I mooched.  Didn't spend a great deal of time there to be honest, but it was nice to have a look.

There were also some trans history talks in the city museum on the same day, so I decided I would pop
up there and see if anyone I knew was around to talk to.  My wife took the kids to Primark as she didn't fancy the walk there.  

I happened to arrive just as one talk had finished, and the lunch session was starting, and noticed two familiar looking people wandering over the road to the Wetherspoons, I swiftly followed :) 

One I knew fairly well - Alex, she had come along to our Pints and Straws events a number of times, and the other I had been wanting to introduce myself to for a while but had not had the chance. I sat with them and consumed a coke while they had their lunch, and we had a nice chat.  

It was really nice to just be in a pub chatting with other trans people I had just bumped into. Alex also goes to the swim session I had been looking to go to, and she told me a bit about how to book the session too.  Suzy was the other lady, she is very local to me, and apparently had attended Trans-Wakefield for one session, although I don't recall seeing her, so perhaps I was elsewhere. 

After their lunch break was over, I had to go find the family, as they had got bored of shopping and wanted a lift home, so I didn't get to listen to any of the talks.  

In the evening I ordered a swim dress from Amazon, and booked my swimming session for this Sunday. 

Sunday - Josephine

Decided to put some minimal makeup on, and make an effort to get Josephine back on the road. I was mostly successful, and by the end of the day she was back on her wheels and mostly ready to hit the road - but it was a bit dark to go out.

I did a live stream on Instagram of her first start since before Xmas - went very well, had not done one before. 

My pink overalls got some nice comments, and it seems a few of my followers had not seen the trans flag grille before.

In the evening I tried on the swim dress that had been delivered in the afternoon, I was very pleased indeed.  It has some thin foam pads in pockets in the breasts - I wasn't aware of this when I ordered, but it works really well - my own are small but becoming quite noticeable, but with the padding looked very natural. 

I got a sort of trans colour swim cap too, of course :)

I was feeling very happy and relaxed after a really quite nice weekend - good to be doing normal things while dressed, rather than just out on the beer with my friends. 

Friends, booze and fried breakfasts

 

I have been bad at updating things on here again ! I had a really good weekend at the start of the month, but work has been pretty stressful the since then. 

There are no major updates to report on general trans issues, I haven't acted upon the information gained on my Gender GP call as yet.

I got my new glasses this Thursday, and am pleased with them, they looks good En femme and OK in boy mode. I will be at the office in them tommorow, I doubt anything will be said.

Previous Weekend 

Thursday

It began with a Thursday night in Wakefield with my friend Bennie who currently has a house nearby.
We did my usual haunts, having some fab beers.  We ate at Rustico's which is the Italian place Trans-Wakefield held their xmas do at this year.  Had some deep fried brie to start, then a meaty pizza.

The pubs stop serving at 11pm on the Thursday, so we were not out that late.  I stayed over at hers, mainly to save on taxi rides back to mine which are rather expensive. 

Friday

In the morning we ate at a local greasy spoon in Normanton, where I had lived for about 10 years after
getting married. It was a friendly little place, and not a bad breakfast. It was raining quite hard on our exit, and didn't have a brolly on me so we got a bit damp walking to the car.

We went from there straight to Leeds, we were staying in the Leonardo, which I have never stopped at before, parked at the armouries car park. We chanced taking our bags there as soon as we arrived at lunch time, in the hope we could pay extra to check in early - but they let us have the room anyway which was a bonus.  It was a really cold day, and my hands were blue by the time we got there. 

It was Pints and Straws in the afternoon, which was fairly successful. We were one shy of our
attendance record, 12 people there I think.  There was a bit of an incident where someone was suspected of filming us when we left 'Friends of Ham'.  It was reported to the bar, but all they could do really was apologise. Don't think the guy was approached by them about it.

There was also a bit of a personality clash between two of my friends who had not interacted before, the older of the two does have form for rubbing people up the wrong way sometimes, so I suppose it was inevitable.

We ate at Pieminster this time, only 5 of us as others had gone off to do their own thing. It was lovely
food, and I made use of their unlimited gravy to get the most out of my money :)

LFF itself was pretty good, the new start venue was excellent again, although no cherry beer. We did the Viaduct, the Shed, then End and then Smokestack.  A number of us were going to a beer festival in Bradford the next day, so we were not trying to go too mad. 

The group decided to go find food at 2am , McDonalds was the first place we tried, but it was full of teenagers and the prospect of a long wait put them off. So I headed to big bites, and the rest followed me in. Got some cheesy chips to share with Bennie and we walked back to the Leonardo.

Saturday

Breakfast was pretty good, it was all self service same as Premier, virtually the same in all respects, and not a bad price £12.50 if you booked the night before, which is a little more than premier. 

Decided to try out the gym on the way back to the room after breakfast 🤣

We headed out to the shops after breakfast, I had neglected to pack a jumper and I figured I might be
cold at the beer festival without one. I got a black one in Next, which completed my all black outfit 🤣

The train to Shipley was around lunch time, so we had a quick coffee at the station Pret before heading to the platform.  After getting on the train we soon found the rest of the gang. It didn't take too long to get there, and it was only a short walk to the beer festival venue.

Had a few beers, then I got some pie and peas to ensure I didn't get too tipsy too quickly. We enjoyed/endured some music from the brass band. 

I had forgotten how much standing there would be, and my platform DM's were really starting to hurt
after only 30 mins or so.  No seats were to be found anywhere. 

By the end of the afternoon I had resorted to sitting on the floor in the hall, but it had thinned out sufficiently there wasn't much risk of being stood on. 

We had got tickets for the afternoon session, and normally if you do this, you can just stay as long as you want - but they closed the venue at 4pm and turfed us out. Some of my friends were less than impressed as there was not much warning of this, and they had just bought another batch of non-refundable tokens !

There was a bit of a panic that the train was due soon, and I was running to keep up with the longer
legged members of our merry band, but we ended up waiting a few minutes when we got to the station.

After getting back into Leeds, we headed to 'The Brew Society' to recover for a bit, I had some water and a coke. Was feeling really tired, and could have had a nap really.  I managed to book a table at Miller and Carter for 4 of us who wanted steak, but couldn't get the table until 8:15pm
.

Bennie was going for a curry with two others who joined us there, but neglected to take her coat, so we took great joy in getting pics of us wearing it to taunt her, 

I had just about recovered enough to be hungry by the time we got there.  My friend Gemma who was in drab - but had an LED hat, and sign on, had decided to set her sign to 'Just Married'  - Alice was in a white dress that could easily have been a wedding one.  This led to them being mistaken as a happy couple by a number of people, and congratulated a number of times.  The poor waitress at Miller and Carter also believed this to be the case too. 

We were quite a sight really, one goth, one bridesmaid, a LED groom, and a resplendent bride. Not really sure I met the establishment's dress code !

After stuffing ourselves, we headed back to Friends of Ham, I was wearing Bennie's coat on top of mine so was nice and warm :) 

Bennie met us there and got her coat back. She stayed out for one more drink after I decided to go to bed. I put the telly on and started to watch one of the new Star Trek films that was on as I knew there was no point in trying to sleep as she would be back in a bit. 

Sunday 

We had breakfast, then headed to the car. I gave Bennie a lift back home, then we decided to for a short walk to go find the café barge on the nearby canal. 

It wasn't there unfortunately, so we took advantage of some sun to get some photo's then headed back to hers for a cup of tea,

I got back home after lunch. I was pretty tired, didn't do much for the rest of the day. 

A focus on the future

Transition updates

So I had my call with the lovely Sofia from GenderGP on Friday the 16th.  I had been quite nervous, as with the initial consultation.  I think mainly because I assumed I would be being assessed in some way. Likely my own imposter syndrome  causing conclusions to be jumped to. 

I had planned it for my day off, so I could dress for the call, but I was going to the opticians, and then to my parents afterwards, so I decided to experiment with an ultra quick look.  This consisted of a shave, false eyelashes, drawing my eyebrows on, and some lipstick - no foundation.

I think I looked pretty good - being able to go without foundation and colour corrector is my ultimate goal, so I was very encouraged by the results.  I still have some shadow to get rid of with more laser, but I am hoping that by summer I might be getting close.

The call went fine, Sofia was really nice, and we talked about how I had found the last six months, and what my goals were and such.  Towards the end I mentioned I was looking to increase my dose, and go onto blockers. She gave me a lot of helpful advice on how to proceed.

The main objective now is to get blood tests, as any increase in my dose would mean I would need to monitor the hormone levels every 3 months to ensure all was well.  They can provide details for private clinics for me to attend, but she recommended asking my GP first. The process required me to submit a form on the website, and they sent me some letters to give to my GP regarding the tests required.

They also contain a request to go onto shared care, and some wording which makes its clear that this is all pretty basic stuff and they really shouldn't attempt to refuse based on competency grounds.  

I haven't booked an appointment with my GP yet, I would be going dressed, it's a pretty big step. I will likely do so, in March. I will endeavour to see if I can get an appointment booked at least.

Glasses !

I had an eye test, and the lady agreed that my close up vision had deteriorated fairly significantly since last time - I was overdue a test by a fair bit.  

Fortunately my distance vision is wonderful :)

I have been using a magnifying lens on an arm to read cooking instructions on packets, so I was expecting it. 

They want me to try varifocals, as it's easier for a younger person to get started on them now, than wait while it's all much worse. 

The more expensive they are the better my chance of getting on with them, so I went for very expensive lenses.  

This left me with a choice, do I buy them with female frames, or men's frames. It kind of forced me to semi commit to decide on the likelihood of me needing men's ones.

I went with female ones, pink arms , geometric lenses, the lenses were £500 , the frames only £200.

It was Saturday when I chose the frames, my local opticians didn't have a big selection so I drove to Barnsley in the morning. The older male optician didn't seem too phased when I told him I wasn't interested in looking at males ones, and wanted to see unisex / women's. I was in boy mode at the time.

Since then

I had a bit of a mood slump after the peak of Friday.  A few cockups at work that I was involved in, and some bad days of self doubt on future plans. 

I was meant to be going out with a friend on the Wednesday night, but she had to call it off, which was a bit of a downer too.  

Chameleons 

Thursday I was still in two minds as to going to Chameleons, I don't know why, I knew for a fact I would enjoy it, but the motivation wasn't there at all. But I did end up going in the end.

It was a really good night, nice to catch up with Lynn and distract her from her makeup as normal :)  - spent a long time talking with Dayna who I had not had chance to before now.

She was telling me about lots of trans YouTube channels she was in to, to my shame I do not spend a lot of time on trans topics on there. I end  up watching music videos, car repair, makeup videos and such.

There was a new lady who turned up, which is usually the hard part, but seemed to get a bit overwhelmed and made her excuses after a short while.  Hopefully she we come back.

Bought some purple nail varnish from Lynn too, fab colour. Only took it off today because I didn't fancy going for a run while wearing it.

I was significantly happier for attending anyway. 

Car performed brilliantly, got there any back with no charging required it was 5 degrees going down and 3 going back up, so it wasn't ideal for the battery either.  I had 20 miles of range left too. 

This weekend so far

I've been working on the car, I got a refurb gearbox that I have been putting in. I was working on the clutch/brake peddle shaft this morning.  This was stopping me putting the engine / gearbox back in. I hope to get this done tommorow.

In the afternoon I put on my new sports bra, and the rest of my running gear and went for a run. 

It seemed to keep things in place, and no chafing of nipples which was the main thing.  I did about 7.5km in total distance, although only 5km of that had some jogging in.  Did manage a full kilometre with no pauses.

Was really nice to be running with the bra on, and my pony tail in the wind, I do get a bit of an exercise high anyway, but I was very happy when I got back. I also don't think I injured myself too much, which is unusual !

I've been very tired since getting back, so other than a shower I haven't done much - and forced myself to update on here, as I've been bad of late.

Next week

I have an overnight work trip on Monday.  The weekend starts on Thursday night, meeting a friend in Wakefield, then it's LFF on the Friday, and a beer festival in Bradford on the Saturday.

Should be a really good one I hope !

White stuff

Thursday

This week has been another sedate one, I was out on Thursday night to my Wakefield group. They were trialling a new venue, which was a fairly busy bar - Hogarths.

I think it worked pretty well, it was a bit more public which caters to my need to be out. We are still keeping the New Union for two of the weeks, that serves a purpose for those less confident to have a more sheltered meeting place.

It had snowed during the day, and I had not bothered to go into the office because of this.  Got a bit of video of me walking through some slush, as it occurred to me that I had not been out in snow en-femme before. Or if I have I can't remember doing so !

Most of the group doesn't drive, and so they proceeded to get fairly merry on a two for £12 cocktail deal, I felt a little left out, but the last time in I was in that bar I barely made it out  under my own steam, so I guess they had some catching up to do :)

It later turned out that I should really have been at my Nottingham group, the dates had got mixed up, and I hadn't bothered to check on the forum. No matter, the snow may have made it a bad drive.

Saturday 

There was a walk around the riverside organised by Trans-Wakefield for the morning. I decided to wear
some floral boots I had bought 2nd had from somewhere - this was a bad idea. But I did put my normal blue suede boots in the car so I could go shopping in them afterwards.

I parked at the Riverside car park and met up with the group, there were six of us, if you include a greyhound called Loki.  We had a nice walk, stopped halfway at a conveniently placed Starbucks.

Was nice to have a relaxed amble and chat with the others, really enjoyed it. I think it was only 5Km.

After we returned to our starting point I headed back to my car and changed into my cleaner boots and black coat. Then walked into town for some bits.

First I went to Boots, looking for my foundation (L'Oreal True match 2R/2C) but they didn't have that, looked in a few charity shops, then went to the 'Neptune Dinner' for a jacket potato and a tea.

From there I nipped to the loo at the shopping centre, then found Superdrug and picked up the foundation in there.  Had a look around Roman , but couldn't see anything tempting, then headed to the 'Red Shed' in search of a refreshing beverage.  

They have some nice beers in there, I could only have one due to driving, so I got a fairly weak 3.7, Youngs London Original. It was pretty good. 

I headed back via the Ridings centre, stopping in Klass where I got a nice new jumper. Then walked back to the car and headed home.

Sunday

I spent a fair bit of time in the garage taking the engine and gearbox out of Josephine - crunchy
gearchanges require investigation.  I did stop to go for a walk in the afternoon, but the forementioned floral boots had rubbed my heels and I didn't make it far before I realised it would be a bad idea.

I did some cleaning and more on the car instead. 

In the evening I washed my hair, and gave my new 'Round Brush Dryer & Styler' a go, - it's a round brush with a hair dryer in the middle to dry as you pull through your hair.  I wasn't very good with it, but I will preserve. 

Had a call with a friend after washing my hair, we discussed blockers. Made me somewhat realise that this is a bit of big step, and that there are risks with kidneys / liver function. Rather daunting. I had quizzed Christine at the group on her thoughts, and I have talked to a number of Instagram friends who I know are on them.  Spiro seemed to have a lot of negative reactions.  

This Week

I don't expect my call with Gender GP on Friday will be anything too exciting, I will likely have to book and possibly pay for a call to amend my medication. I think this is just a box ticking exercise to remain with them. But we shall see.

I have an opticians appointment on Friday too, I am expecting a big change in prescription as I am struggling, and it's been a long time since I had a test. Which does mean I will probably have to buy a load of new glasses !  At least most of my en-femme ones are cheap.  I might try and get something unisex for my main pair this time though.