This was my 3rd Sparkle, and quite possibly my last if some rumours are to be believed !
The 1st one was magical, lovely weather, and well attended as it was the 1st after lockdown - it was a fabulous weekend. The second one was a bit of a let down due to torrential rain that spoilt both the day and evening.
This one we had OK weather, we were able to mingle in the gardens for the day events without fear of sunburn or requiring diving equipment.
Friday
I got there just after lunch on the Friday, meeting up with Ann, Benni and Stephanie who had arrived slightly before me.
We grabbed some food, had a beer in a nice little tap room and did a bit of shopping at Aflecks. We all seemed to end up with a pair of earrings :) - I can't actually remember what I did with mine, I might have to go hunting later !
We got changed met at the hotel bar where Charlotte also joined us, then we headed out for food at a pub we had seen on our travels - we had tried to get a table at a tapas place first but they were fully booked.
Other friends were arriving later, and some were bringing companions, so it ended up with about 10 of us at the meal. Was very nice food - I had a pint of Boddingtons, as I was told that this was one of the few places in Manchester you could still buy it.
It's not brewed there anymore, but still tasted better than I remember.
In the evening we attempted to be fairly good and not drink too much, but think we failed a little. We did a few places on Canal street. It was a good night.
Saturday
We had a breakfast at the hotel bar, which was pretty nice - usual fry up buffet.
In the morning we headed to the gardens to look at the stalls and see what was on. Myself and Ann had a brief visit to a pub a short walk away to meet up with Gemma - it was somewhere I had fancied going last time, but turned out to look a lot better on the outside than the inside :)
We headed back to the gardens for a bit and went around more of the stalls. A few of us went for food at a little bistro off canal street mid afternoon. I actually went back to my room for a bit of a nap for an hour after this, the lack of sleep had caught up with me.
After this re-charge we headed out for more food, which was a bit early really, but we wanted to hit the bars fairly quickly so thought was a good idea. Ended up at a bar in the norther quarter - I got a spicy beef dish but it was very salty and didn't manage much of it.
There was some entertainment watching a peddle bar getting towed away on a trailers outside though.
In the evening it was more of the same, we did go to the gardens again initially, and had a beer in the refreshment tent and watched some of the acts on stage. Managed to talk to Grai the main LFF organiser which was nice - I hardly get chance to talk to her normally.
Also met up with Romile who I seem destined to only meet for a few hours a year at a random event, but was nice all the same.
We had tickets for a club night that had been organised by Sparkle at 9pm, but did a few bars on Canal street first before walking the 10 minutes to the venue. It was a bit of a shambles, apparently there was a communication issue where the club thought the DJ's were brining the equipment, but they thought the club was providing !
They left us queuing outside for 15 mins, moving where the queue was. Someone was trying to be helpful and get us in a different door, only for the door staff to send us back to where we were initially queuing. Then they started talking about getting ID, and bag checking us all - by this point a few of us were getting itchy feet and wanted to abandon ship, and I led the charge back to canal street, with a few trying to keep up in their heels ( I was in flats 🤣 )
We did a few more bars, and had a pleasant rest of the night. Did a bit of dancing, I can't remember what time we got back to the hotel, but wasn't too sozzled.
Sunday
Another fry up at the hotel in the morning, and then it was soon time to head home. Most people had trains booked so were going back first thing. I said my goodbyes and headed home, was not a bad drive.
Aside from the wasted time and money for the night club , it was really nice to be back in Manchester - it's still a fab place to go back to every now and then, nice to have some variety. I don't find it as good as Leeds overall, but still worth the trip.
Progesterone seems to be really helping me with my sleep, but perhaps too much. I swear I feel slightly sedated and unmotivated the next day after taking it. I've not been taking it after drinking as it is supposed to amplify it's effects, so not being having it every night.
They are not solid pills, so you can't cut them in half - I invested in a pill cutter to try lower dosages of finasteride. Given up on taking those all together though for the moment.
Still doing 3 pumps a day on the oestrogen gel.
Family
My mum seemed shocked that it went OK with my parents in law, and I wonder if she was holding out hope that it would go really bad, and that I would be forced to rethink my life choices. She seems to have made more of an effort since, she actually used my correct name twice in WhatsApp messages !!
So far has not used the wrong one either - but on the phone I haven't had a correct use yet.
Work
No issues, all is still good, been managing to get up a earlier and get my makeup on - still a fairly minimal look. Went for a walk down the river at lunchtime on Monday, found some nice potential spots for photo's under the motorway bridge :)
Morris Minor National Meeting
So overall this wasn't as good as I had hoped. I was a bit nervous about attending, but we still excited to be doing so.
I had gone down to Chameleons on the Thursday night, and had stayed over at the Belfry nearby. After a very nice fried breakfast I had visited Wollaton Hall to kill some time. I was told I couldn't get into the camping area at the motor museum until 4pm, which was not accurate as it turns out.
So I decided to visit Wollaton, as it looked like a good way to spend the morning. There is an industrial museum there that I wanted to visit, as well as a natural history museum and the grounds to explore.
Josephine needed a drink so we filled up at the petrol station nearby and drove the short distance to the hall.
It was a pretty good visit - the industrial museum unfortunately didn't open on a Friday, but the Natural
History museum in the hall was fab - and you got to see a lot of the hall too. I had a tea in one of the cafe's too. It was a bit windy so I didn't spend too much time exploring the grounds, and decided to set off to Gaydon, but call in somewhere on the way to grab some lunch and kill another hour. This would allow me to arrive at 4pm.
Draycote Water looked to be a good choice, as it looked quite scenic and had a visitor centre with a restaurant too.
On the way down, I ended up on the M69 and ended up with a camper van following us for ages - at a respectful distance, I happened to look in the mirror just as it was pulling off onto the hard shoulder - later turns out it was a fellow Minor owner, they said hello at the show :)
On arriving at Draycote, I walked to the restaurant and was shown to a table by a nice woman. I went up to order at the tills, and some bloke in front accidentally knocked the crisps all over the floor, but was then time for me to order. There was a lady coming out of the kitchen a short distance from the server at the tills, and when I ordered she seemed to burst out laughing. The girl on the till was trying to be professional but she had been set off by this other lady.
I was quite taken aback, I've had nasty things said about me, and bad looks, but never been laughed at in that manner. This did quite upset me, but the girl on the till seemed to recompose herself, and after a short silence took my order. I don't have any hard evidence she was laughing at me, but I can only assume it was to do with my voice when I ordered. I am quite self conscious about this - it was in fact a major worry for me when first attending Chameleons.
Anyway this did not put me in the best frame of mind, and I was a bit down for the rest of the visit. The food wasn't bad, and I interacted with 3 members of staff there who treated me really nice, it was just that one that seemed to have an issue.
I hung around until 3ish, so that my remaining journey time would get me to Gaydon at 4pm. The rest of the drive was uneventful, and I arrived at the museum, and the camping marshal gave me instructions on where to pitch. There were loads of people already setup, and not much room left, but I did park up and get a nice spot on the hill overlooking the museum.
There was a chap next to me, and I shouted across to make sure he was happy I had left him enough room. The camping marshal had said 3 meters, but there wasn't enough room for that, and I even ended up with someone camping in the 3m gap between my tent and the person who pitched up next to me on the other side.
Had a bit of a chat with the guy next to me, but we failed to introduce ourselves properly. He had driven from Clacton, and was having a bit of a lay down before putting his tent up.
I managed to get my tent up, and went for a bit of a walk to explore the facilities. Finding the tap to replenish my water supplies. Met a young chap who was also doing the same. He later shouted to me that he liked my grille as we drove past each other on the next morning.
That evening I didn't really do much else, I tried out my gas stove and cooked some meatballs in tomato sauce - made me feel a bit sick to be honest. But was better than nothing. I was quite tired, and decided to go to bed early so I would be fresh in the morning.
Saturday
I experienced the joys of shaving using a cup in a tent - didn't go too badly ! I got dressed and walked down to the parking area where the cars were to be shown. I chatted to a couple of marshals to find out where I could join in - I had never done this before so had no idea what normally happens. Then after a loo stop went back to fetch the car and park in the area they had told me.
I did some wandering around, looking at other cars, did the auto jumble stores, grabbed a bacon roll and a tea too. Didn't really get much interaction, I saw a Youtuber who had been nice to me, and went to talk to her. She was nice enough, but seemed to be on a mission to get around stuff, so I let her get on her way. She told me one of the organisers of the women's drivers club was around, I did see her but she was quite busy too , and didn't get chance to speak.
I grabbed a burger from a van for lunch, it was quite nice, then looked around the motor museum for abit. Ann was going to pop down on her motorbike in the afternoon, but it was quite sunny so didn't want to just sit around waiting.
I did go sit by the car for a bit, putting my 360 camera on a long pole on her roof, so I could do a timelapse. It worked OK , going to do it as s video next time, it's easier than combining all the images into one.
We grabbed an ice-cream as the van pulled up just as we were nearby, it was a hot afternoon and they had missed out on a lot of trade turning up so late.
Ann departed, and I went back to the car for a bit - the show part finished at 4pm, and I had to move her back to the camping area.
I had originally hoped to spend the evening having a few drinks, and attempting to socialise with other attendees, but the bar had gone bust, and I only had a few cans of warm cider I had brought with me. The entertainment also seemed quite lacklustre, as it was just a stage set up on the back of a truck. There was no seating, and the food stalls had closed. So I was quite disappointed, and made the decision to head home early.
I did have a nice chat with Bruce before I left - we did eventually exchange names :) He had an earlier Minor with a split screen, and also a more retro themed bell tent. Which I perhaps might look at if I do more of these.
I drove home and got in after 9pm, it was mostly light all the way home, but did rain a bit. Was a nice enough journey. Stopped off for fuel at a services and the guy in the garage complemented my car which was nice.
Overall, it was good to have done it - I did have a nice time, but it would have been better if I had not gone on my own, but I don't really know anyone who would have wanted to join. Bruce did mention that previous years had much better food / drink / entertainment, so hopefully it was just a bad year for it.
I have another camping adventure with the northern meetup of the Women's drivers social club in August - a Facebook group I was invited to. It will likely be less than 10 of us, and so I should hopefully get more chance to interact, there is no hiding in a crowd with so few.
Leeds First Friday
In brief - it was very quiet , likely due to Sparkle / Leeds pride happening in the same month. We had a low turnout for Pints and Straws, but it was still nice. Sally from Chameleons made it up again, was really lovely to see her.
I had picked Bennie up, and we did brunch at the pub on the canal near hers, then proceeded to Leeds where we did some photo's on the multistorey roof. We had a drink, and did some shopping before heading to Pints and Straws.
Pints and Straws was good despite the low turnout, and was nice to chill out and enjoy some interesting beers. I ended up eating a Bau at the Northern Tap Room, and a gammon and duck egg at the Tetley.
We retired to the room to get changed, then headed to the Bridge End Social for the main event. We did the usual , Shed, 'The End' , Smokestack. Both myself and Benni had one too many cocktails - not helped by one of the server in the Shed getting distracted whilst making some for us, and seemingly doubling the alcohol content of it.
We had some chips from big bites, made sure Sally got to her hotel, and were back in our room for after 2am.
Saturday we were meant to be heading to a beer festival in the afternoon, but the weather wasn't the best, and a few of us were not feeling great. Neither myself or Benni managed to eat all out breakfast, and we ended up doing the Leeds gothic market in the morning.
We had a few beers in the afternoon, then went back for a snooze ! then met up again later. We were thinking of going for a pizza for tea, but Olivia started complaining of chest pains, which seemed more like indigestion, so we took her back to the hotel to have a lay down for a bit. Ended up getting pizza delivered there and eating on the bed :)
Oliva got the train home, and then we headed back out for a few hours, ended up playing pool in the bridge end social - I lost three nil :(
Sunday we had breakfast at Riveresque again, it was warm enough to sit outside, an American who had bought an apartment on the opposite bank stopped to ask if we could see through his windows !
We had exhausted all of Leeds delights, so we checked out and I drove Benni home on the way back to mine. It was a pretty good weekend all in all :)
Well I finally got around to telling my parents-in-law. I did it by email, I really didn't want to do it on the phone, as I figured it would not go well.
I got to the point fairly quickly, and then onto how it impacted my wife and the kids, and that they were largely OK with it.
My wife ended up on the phone to them shortly afterwards, and they have actually seemed to take it a lot better than I had thought.
I did say it would perhaps be a bit too much to go on the week long family holiday planned for later in the year - there would be 3 families and the grandparents (my in laws) under one roof, with a number of kids.
If we had separate accommodation where I could retreat I might have considered it.
I had a short but nice message back from my mother in law, not had any contact with my father in law, but my wife said he seemed very unphased or bothered by it !
My brother popped over to see me this Wednesday, and show me his newly painted car. It was the 1st time he or his girlfriend had seen me in person dressed. It went well, as if nothing had changed, which was really nice.
Also got to go for a bit of a drive in his car, which is quite a bit faster than mine !
Work
Everything seems OK, my teams has eventually updated for everyone. I've had plenty of calls with people, and they have all treated me normally.
I went into the office twice last week, there were only a few of us in, but it went fine. I was in a Joe Browns dress the 1st day, then a long utility dress on the Tuesday.
I got some questions about what operations I might have from a long time colleague, which i had sort of been expecting. Had it been someone I barely knew it would have been less appropriate, but it's must be 6 years we've worked together at least.
Had a nice call from my boss while I was in the office too, he wanted to be sure I had no plans to leave, as I was a key employee - which is always nice to hear.
I am back in the office tommorow, might do jeans and a top this time perhaps. I am not 100% sure that floral dresses meet with the dress code - but I guess I am highly unlikely to be told off for fear of upsetting me :)
Social Events
I did Stockport beer festival on the 21st. I popped into the bank when I arrived in the morning so I could get my name changed on my account. Did a bit of shopping , and a had a beer in a nice tap house before checking into the hotel.
I was joining a couple of friends, and had to wait while one of them glammed up, but did eventually get to the beer festival in the late afternoon.
It is a nice little festival, we stayed until after 10pm, there was food on, I had a chilli, and got some cheese and crackers too. I was dressed fairly sensibly compared to one my friends, she gets a lot of attention with her LED dress and handbag.
I was at Chameleons this Thursday, I had driven down in the Morris because I was heading to the owners club national meeting the day after. I had failed to read the forum again, so was surprised that the car park was shut.
It was not big deal though, I just parked at my hotel and got an Uber in - I didn't want to leave my fully packed car on the street.
Considering the issues with the parking there was a really good turnout, I initially thought it might be fairly quiet - nice to see so many make the effort. Ann gave me a white chocolate Biscoff KitKat to try - it was quite nice :)
Ann gave me a lift back to the hotel, and she got changed there - it seems there was a prom on at the hotel, so it was difficult to get into the car park. There were lots of young ladies in very nice ball gowns, I was most jealous !
I will blog about the Morris Minor national separately.
My name change at work was largely completed on Friday the 14th of June.
My email, Teams , HR login and a few other systems were all updated during the course of the day. Aside from having to restart Onedrive all went to plan ! I did have to manually change my profile picture on a few of them, but that was no great hassle.
I had emailed around 40 colleagues on the Thursday afternoon - partly as a lot of them would have been off on the Friday, so wanted to make sure they saw the email in good time. I had a number of lovely messages back from perhaps 10 of them so far. A few teams messages too.
There are a few women who I would have hoped to have got a message back from, but haven't - but I have also had a few of the guys send me nice messages, so it's not worked out badly.
The email was a slightly modified version of one Ann sent to me, that had been used by one of her colleagues :
Hello,
I hope you are well - I have some important news to
share with you.
It may surprise you to learn that I am transgender.
I have been living as a woman outside of work for a while now, and I feel ready
to make this change in my professional life as well.
Starting from Friday the 14th of June, I will be
going by the name Isobel (or Izzy for short) and using she/her pronouns. All of
my IT accounts will be updated throughout the day, although it may be Monday
before everything is in synch.
I kindly ask you to respect my identity and refer
to me accordingly. This is not a whim or a phase, but a core part of who I am.
I understand that this may be new or confusing for
you, and that you may have questions or concerns. I am happy to answer any
reasonable questions you may have, as long as they are respectful and
appropriate. You can email me privately or talk to me in person if you prefer.
I also want to reassure you that I am still the
same person you know and work with. I am not expecting you to change your
behaviour or attitude towards me drastically. You don't have to walk on
eggshells around me or avoid certain topics. Just treat me as you would any
other colleague.
I know that mistakes can happen, especially in the
beginning. If you accidentally misgender me or use my old name, don't make a
big deal out of it. Just correct yourself and move on. What matters to me is
your intent, not your perfection.
I appreciate your support and understanding in this
transition. I am looking forward to continuing working with you as my true
self.
Best Regards,
I was dressed for the first time on Friday (working from home) , but I only had two calls that day, one from someone who had been notified, and had sent me a nice message, and one from one of my closer colleagues who had known about me for some time, and was checking up on me. So I haven't really interacted with many people as yet.
I will likely get more calls on Monday, I shall report back :)
Telling my Parents
My dad has been waiting on a letter from the DVLA confirming he is still OK to drive. I had visited my parents yesterday, and this got brought up in conversation. I mentioned I had my new drivers license back (it arrived late last week). My mum's curiosity got the better of her, and she asked why I needed a new one, so I mentioned I had changed my name.
I could see she wasn't very happy, but I had taken my youngest with me, and I don't think she wanted to cause a fuss in front of him. She did ask me what I preferred to be called, then continued to use my dead name for the rest of the time we were there - three or four times.
I also got a funny look, as I had gone with eyebrows done, and some foundation on my beard shadow area.
My dad seemed oblivious, didn't really say anything, and deadnamed me when I left - with what is going on with his health I don't really mind with him, it could well be the last year I have with him, so I am not going to get upset with him over this.
My mum did send me a Whatsapp after I had returned home, wishing me a happy fathers day for tommorow - normally she would use my name in the message, but this time there was no name at all. So perhaps she will be attempting to not use one at all - which is better than my deadname at least.
I did wonder on reflection if the fathers day thing was another dig, potentially reminding me of my birth gender again, she seems to do this every so often. But I might just be paranoid.
3rd Parties
I got my drivers license back, and separately the deed poll I had sent. I had folded it, as I figure it's better to have a few copies that I can mail out, which I can reuse for other things, rather than spending a lot more on postage to send in big envelopes.
I've notified the electoral register, but not heard back - no idea if I will be able to vote now.
I did tell the HMRC too, using their online system, expecting to hear back from them asking me to post in the deed poll, but also not heard back.
Hoping to go into the bank on Friday to get things started with them, now I have some photo ID.
There are a few suppliers at work I need to email on Monday too. I've been able to change my gas/electric details online with no proof, so I will be able to print out utility statements soon which will serve as other forms of ID too.
I've also done things like Amazon and Vinted, as I can now prove who I am to go pick things up if there are delivery issues.
LinkedIn - posted some pics on Insta / Facebook to see what people suggested in terms of hair tied up or down. Most people said down, so I went with that.
Still need to do the Doctors, and will now need to notify Nottingham GIC that the NHS number on my application will need updating when I get a new one.
Might do my mobile phone contract in a bit.
Medical Updates
I had a box of goodies from GenderGP, not wanting to play side effect roulette, I decided to try one new medication at any time, so I can be sure which one is causing me issues if I get any.
I have done a trial of the Finasteride this week (1mg), not 100% sure but think my tinnitus was a bit worse. There was also a bit of skin itching. I only did a few days, I will likely start on them again this week, but perhaps only taking half a pill a day.
I have not tried the progesterone yet, or the blocker - I am thinking I probably don't even need the blocker and that it was a bit of a waste of time getting it. The Finasteride will suppress my T level, and also increasing my E dosage to 3 pumps a day should also suppress it a bit more too.
My doctor has asked me to schedule another blood test, I am not sure if he just knows that I would want one sooner rather later anyway, he was concerned my E levels were too high - which they for someone with a male NHS number, but he did put in the notes he was aware I was on gel, as I had told him this.
Cosmetic News
I tried a new hair dye by John Freida, it was a foam type - meant to be a amber/brown. It has worked OK on my grey, but on my darker hair it's not done much. I didn't like how it went on, I have ordered some Schwarzkopf from Amazon to try - 'Cranberry Bliss' , I am hoping this will work better !
Social events
LFF was fab, there were four girls from Chameleons there, for three of them it was their 1st time. They all seemed to enjoy themselves. I was good, and remained relatively sober, despite several flaming cocktails in the Shed (Flaming Zombies).
I walked one of the girls back to the hotel from the Smokestack, and got her in the lift as she seemed a bit wobbly. Then went back for a bit, and ended up taking another one back via Big Bites as well.
Ann managed to get the last one back after I had retired to bed, one had gone to bed early after the food, but it was not her 1st time.
I should have been at Chameleons on the Thursday night before my name change at work, but the car park was closed, and I really wanted a good nights sleep before that day, as besides the stress of the change, I also had some really important work to do !
Hopefully will be at the next one.
Last night I was at an 80's night in Hull, which was great - although I am waiting for a bus lane fine, as I am sure I was in one during a time when I shouldn't.
Josephine
I did some cool external videos' with my mounting system on the car, and my YouTube channel numbers seem to be growing a lot faster since the breakdown video - but have attracted more peddle pumpers. Well at least people are watching the videos :)
The deed poll was indeed kindly done by Lynn and Ann at Chams on the 23rd of May. Monday was a bank holiday, so it was Tuesday before I notified work.
I sent an email to my boss first, indicating that I would be talking to HR. He rang my back pretty quickly after getting the email, but unfortunately due to issues with Teams not playing call notification through the speaker, I missed it. I sent him a message, but it was then a good few hours before he tried again.
That stressed me out a little. But when I did finally get to speak with him it went well.
I explained I would likely agree a date with HR to do a switchover, as all the IT systems would need updating at the same time - perhaps on a day off.
He asked if it was OK to keep using my old name and pronouns until this had happened - partly in case anything we sent each other needed to be forwarded to anyone else who was not in the know yet. It seemed sensible to do this, so had no issue.
I emailed HR after this, slightly amending the wording of the email I had sent my boss. She replied saying that she didn't see any issue in principle, but asked my permission to talk with IT first, then we could have a call about it.
She sent me an invite for the next day, so I didn't have long to wait. IT had advised it was better for it all to happen on a working day, so that if I had issues logging into anything, someone would be on hand to fix it. Fridays are better as 1/2 the company is off depending on what cycle they are on.
So it ended up being set for the 14th of June :)
The HR lady was lovely, and admitted that I would be the 1st to do this, but she didn't want me to feel like a guinea pig. I did offer to send her some material that could perhaps prove useful if anyone needed any assistance with getting their heads around this. She mentioned that the standard policy's included the protections that I already knew I had, which was good, and seemed to be really on my side, which was fab :) . I felt quite emotional afterwards, in a good way !
Adventures
I did Blackpool with four friends last weekend. It was really good, got some nice photos and 3D footage.
We were staying at the Garnet hotel, a first for me - it was really good, the breakfast was excellent. Although my veggie friend didn't like the meat free sausages, and after trying one I could see why.
I picked up Bennie from Wakefield before heading over the Pennines, we arrived around lunch time.
As I was trying to get the new chargers working two other friends pulled into the same car park. There was also a weird guy who started talking to us - then I recognised his voice , it was another of us in drab. I had never seen her in guy more before :)
In the evening we largely did the normal venues, Ma-Kellys, Galleon , Garlands and finishing at the Flying handbag
We went up the tower on the Saturday morning. Randomly I got a photo with a Dalek in a washing machine shop on the way there !
I saw my friend Bella on the Saturday evening in the DragonFly for a short while, I had some bits that she bought in Whitby a while ago, and had somehow got left in my car. But she didn't seem to want to stay out with us.
Saturday we did LuLu's , a cocktail place, Galleon, Garlands again perhaps, and then the Flying Handbag.
There was a free photo session in Lulu's with a while couch, and proper lighting, not had the photo's back yet.
I avoided getting too tipsy, cheesy chips were consumed at the Flying handbag at the end of both nights.
This Weekend
Saturday I was meant to go to York pride, but the friend who I was going with had issues, so I didn't bother in the end. I did go to the camping shop and get a mattress , a folding chair and table , and some other bits. I also put up the tent Ann had gifted me - this is in preparation for the morris minor meeting later this month.
Today I have been for a run in the morning, and then spent a good few hours tinkering on the car. She is largely ready, I got the electric windscreen pump working. It doesn't look very in keeping, but it works so much better than the original manual pump - and the useless modern lookalike replacement I bought.
Only 4 days at work this week, then LFF !!!!! I am very much looking forward to it :)
Got my blood tests back, I didn't see anything that panicked me too much. My testosterone levels are really low - lower than people I know who are on on blockers !
I've submitted them to GenderGP , along with a request for a treatment review and my preference for blocker (Cyproterone) , and Progesterone, along with an increase in Oestrogen dosage. Will see what they suggest, and probably run it though everyone I know to make sure it sounds sensible too :) . Already had one friend advise not to bother with the blocker due to mental health issues !
I expect I won't hear back for at least a week.
I made the decision to press the big red 'Full time' button last weekend.
I've had 16 copies of a deed poll printed off, and will be taking them to Chams tommorow to get that witnessed. They are on posh 250gsm paper, and look very nice. Even bought some nice pens to sign them with.
Not composed an email to my boss yet, perhaps get that sorted over the weekend.
Had a chat with my wife to ensure she knew what I was planning, went quite well, no tears. I'm sure she expected it sooner or later.
Not told my parents yet. With my dad's health issues, we will likely need to get their wills updated. Will do that in person.
I feel quite relaxed about the whole thing now, making the decision was more stressful than going through with it I think. It's a bit of a weight off.
Laser
Had my appointment on Tuesday lunch time, I went to the office with a women's t-shirt on, nobody seemed to notice.
The owner of the laser place I use had unfortunately seriously burnt her hand with some wax, and may be out of commission for some time. Luckily she had a friend who runs a salon in Sheffield who has stepped up to take on her appointments for the next few months.
She was really nice, and did a really thorough job - not that my usual lady didn't but there were things she did that were different, and was pleased she had done them. She got me to stick my tongue in the corners of my mouth to stretch the skin around that area that is normally creased - really get to those parts you would miss otherwise.
I've finished my last block of full face now, and i don't have a lot of dark hair on my face other than the chin and upper lip, so I bought a block of 6 chin and lip , which was £250 , a lot cheaper than full face.
She said I what I had left on my torso sessions would 100% clear it all, a lot of the hair I have on my tummy is actually dead and will come out if I exfoliate more.
Exercise
I took Josephine to my swimming session on the 12th of May, not been for a run, as I hurt my foot - see social activities.
Did manage to go for a 9km walk last Sunday though ( 19th of May)
Other Activities - Saturday 18th
Trans-portation
My first en-femme vehicle recovery - achievement unlocked !!! . I have had a tow start, and a push start before, but never a full recovery. At least six people stopped, everyone was really friendly and helpful, and didn't bat an eyelid at me being trans ! I was most pleased with this !
Leeds - Meal out + Music gig
After returning home on the back of the truck, I quickly changed, and drove my other car into Leeds. I was meeting my friend Charlotte for a meal, and then we were going to a music gig at the Brudenell Social club (http://www.brudenellsocialclub.co.uk).
I was a bit flustered -and warm toom it was a hot day. Attempting to get to a car park near 'The light' without going through a bus gate didn't help. I parked near John Lewis and walked in the end.
Met up with Charlotte near the light, and then we had a short mooch around the art gallery for a bit, as we were there too early for our reservation at Prezzo's.
There there were a few new exhibits, but nothing that really excited me.
We wandered the short distance to the restaurant, and got a nice table inside. I had a fab goats cheese pizza, and stole a couple bit of calamari from Charlotte. I think she had a salmon dish. The drinks were not that cheap.
By the time we had paid, it was getting near to 7pm so we decided to go straight to the Brudenell, as the bar is open pre-gig, and also the parking is only on-street there, so better to get there early.
We had a drink, then headed to the room our bands were in - there were two rooms, one had another set of bands on. The support act was on first, but we missed a lot of that as the queue to get our wrist bands, can't remember their name.
Next was Bossk, who were very 'shouty' , I liked the music though, but couldn't make out a lot of the lyrics.
Maybeshewill was the final band, they were much more to my liking, mostly instrumental, and quite euphoric in style. I really enjoyed , and have been listening to more songs this week.
Also I was trying out some 'Loop' earplugs, which are more noise limiting than blocking, and worked marvellously ! I have issues with one of my ears buzzing in high volume environments - these are a game changer. Wish I had been using them longer.
Charlotte drove me back to the car park I was in, and luckily was able to get back out without having to pay anything. Then I headed back, I was home before midnight.
Went for blood tests on Friday, I am very bad with these, and invariably faint. I didn't disappoint the lovely nurses - I make sure to pre-warn, and ask to be laid down. I take full fat coke with me to give me a boost afterwards too.
It went as expected, got through giving the sample but drifted off while holding some water they gave me afterwards. I didn't spill too much on myself though.
They got the fan out, and tempted me with a biscuit, but I declined and had the coke instead. Once I was sure I could walk, I told them I would sit out in the waiting area for a bit. They checked on me a few times, and I made sure to let them know I was OK to go. They were all fantastic, I had 4 in the room at one point 🤣
I had been pacing the streets of Barnsley as I was an hour early getting there, and had spied a greasy spoon with a good breakfast deal, so I decided to go there and have a fry up before driving anywhere. It was a fasting blood test, so I hadn't had breakfast. It wasn't a bad one, had a tea and another coke with it too.
I had pre-planned to go to my parents afterwards - but not told them in case I wasn't up to it. I had bought them gifts at Whitby a few weeks ago, some assorted liquorice sweets, and dried root for my dad, and some hand made soap for my mum. I also had some lemon sherbets, and a book on Barnsley trains to give to my dad as well. I had popped into the market to buy some fresh pork pies for them as well.
Got there fine - the cotton wool swab over my needle mark was a good way for me to update them on the fact I was on hormones. The boobs got a mention, my mum had noticed 'changes'. My dad said nothing, but they were all still friendly with me. Hugged my mum , and shook my dad's hand as I left - didn't feel like any issues had been caused. It felt good that they were now fairly UpToDate with my plans.
My dads health issues had meant I had not been wanting to tell them, and their line of questioning on 'trans things' was fairly limited as it would seem not much research has been done !
I am not sure when I will get the tests, I think my doctor's will upload them to their patient portal, then I can forward to GenderGP. Well after frantically checking what the Liver Function Results likely mean. My frequent over consumption does worry me.
Anyway it was a productive morning, in the afternoon I did some adulting, then headed off to Wakefield to visit a friend, described later.
Blog title inspired by - The Murderbot Diaries a fab series of Sci-Fi books, which I binge listened to on Audible a while ago. The bot gets reliability alerts when not doing so well due to emotional or physical damage.
Adventures
Leeds First Friday
I was in the mood to blow off some steam. I had a very pleasant afternoon. I sought food at '5 Guys' as Pie minster wasn't open yet.
Then met up with Lexi and Ann. We tried 'The Tetley' first which was originally the brewery head office, then recently an art gallery, and has now been re-opened as a pub run by Kirkstall brewery.
Then headed off to do our Pints and Straws event. We did Friends of Ham, Head of Steam, and Tapped after this.
I was in pentagram fishnets, and my new boots - this was a silly idea, and my heels blistered badly. I swapped to some different boots for the evening but the damage was done.
I had a pizza in Tapped, then headed back to my room to change for the evening. In keeping with the goth look, I changed into a black dress with a star print on it.
I did Blayd's with Oliva , then we headed to the Bridge End Social for the main event.
Did some schmoozing in there, and was introduced to a new girl - Charlotte, who was at her first LFF. We ended up back at the Tetley after this, with a group of perhaps 8-10 of us. It was getting towards midnight when we left there.
It went a bit downhill after this, I said I was going to 'The End' first, and a Charlotte and a few others came with me. Ended up consuming far too many 'two for £12' cocktails, did some dancing for a while. I have a vague memory of going to the Smokestack after this, apparently I was having trouble paying for things in there, and my friend Alex bought some drinks for me - while attempting to get me to have water instead.
I got Charlotte back to her hotel safely apparently - and managed to get back to my own room (no memory of this).
I was still tipsy first thing, so Bella my room mate got me some coffee and croissants, and set my phone to go off at 11am so I could get dressed before checkout time, and headed off.
Spent a painfully long time wandering around Leeds waiting to feel human enough to drive. I nipped to boots for some blisters plasters, then visited a park, witnessed a trade union march near the art gallery, and drank a pot of tea in the Tetley.
I think it was about 3pm before I was home - the drive was fine, I didn't feel impaired in any way. I was pretty tired though, so went straight to bed when I got home !
Chams
This was the night before the bloods - I didn't go, I knew I would be up early to take the kids to school, then head into Barnsley for the blood tests, so I told Ann it was unlikely I would go. Sounds like I missed out on some antics, and Jaffa Cakes.
Leeds Second Friday
This was in the afternoon/evening after the blood tests.
My friend Benni was up in Wakefield to sort some things on her house, she would normally have been at LFF, but things had not gone to plan. We decided to meet up and have a few drinks while she was up here. We were originally going to head into Wakefield, but I had got to her house quite early, and there was a train heading into Leeds in 15 minutes , and we were able to get a taxi to the station very quickly.
It was a really warm day, high humidity too, I had chosen to wear a summery dress with sandals and was very glad. The train was quite oppressive inside, was most glad to get off it !
We had a drink in Friends of Ham, then headed off to Las Iguanas for food. I had a Mexican tasting platter. It was a bit hot, but I enjoyed it. We had a fairly tame cocktail - only because we could share the 2 for 1 offer.
Then we did Tapped, before heading out of our normal area to the north of the city centre.
Then onwards to 'Howl Bar' (A goth/rock place) where I felt totally out of place, much rather be a goth in a normal pub, than in a floral dress in a rock place ! This place had lots of pro-trans graffiti in the ladies loo's which was fab, and almost made up for standing in pee in sandals 😂
It was getting late, and we didn't want to miss the train, so headed back towards the station. We did have a bit of time to spare in the end though so popped into the Brewery Tap for a final half, then to the Sainsburys in the station to buy a sandwich and water to finish the evening off with.
The last train back was lively, but not as mad as it can be apparently, it was quite a good atmosphere. We got a taxi the short distance back to my friends, and I was in bed by midnight.
Canal Side Walks
In the morning we decided to go for a walk along the canal to a pub for brunch. It was a really sunny morning, so made sure to put plenty of sun cream on - I have laser in a few weeks, can't get any sun really.
Took about an hour for us to walk there, lots of friendly people about, one boat captain pointed out a mink that was moving her young.
We had a nice brunch at the pub, then walked back to my friends where we said goodbye. She has 12,000 steps on her watch, and she's a bit taller than me, so I may have got more.
I was back home early afternoon. Unfortunately I've added to my blister collection, not bad ones, but on the bottom of my heels - sandals were a bad idea.
In the afternoon I didn't really do much. Set up my 360 camera to try and get some footage of the northern lights later, but having reviewed the footage today it was too bright here to see anything.
If there is another chance I may drive out to the woods and do it from there.
Going swimming later hopefully, although a bit sniffly at the moment, on some cold pills.
