Belated updates

This is a catch-up of sorts, as I had not documented some of my outings which occurred before the previous coming out post as it felt more important to talk about then and there.

Thursday the 15th - Trans Wakefield

I had not been for a while, as I had missed the previous opportunity, and instead watched a film with my friend Ann at Meadowhall - so was nice to catch up. 

There is a guy in a wheelchair who is always there, he has trouble speaking, I think he must have had a stroke - he waved as I came in and wanted my hand, which he kissed :)  which I found quite sweet.

Phillipa was there, she had been given some pretty bad news about her cancer treatment, but she was trying to remain positive and was as lively and entertaining as normal. She may end up losing her hair, so had suggested the wig shop in Leeds if that would help. 

We were sat around the corner away from the main bar, to try and concentrate us more, and get us talking to each other. It seemed to work, there were a few good conversations about the GP process for transitioning which I absorbed. 

There was a bit of a funny incident with the loo's , I had gone into the ladies of course, and the only cubicle free was the one with the broken lock, also the first one in the row. Predictably someone else came and tried to get in - I told them I was in - which confused them greatly - clearly I have a male voice. They were loudly trying to confirm if they were in the right loos, went out, came back in. You would have thought that people coming to an LGBT bar would be able to figure out the likely cause.  

I didn't manage to team up with anyone for the pub quiz, so just sat and talked to people on Insta for a bit while they did that. There was a Dalmatian that came to say hello to everyone later in the evening, was very funny, really enjoyed a pint, so had to be kept under control. 

Friday the 16th - Nottingham city centre & Evening Invasion

I had the day off, it was Nottingham Invasion in the evening, so I thought I would head down to Nottingham earlier in the day and have a look around. I had never been during the day.

I got down by 1pm ish, and I ate at a lovely cafe that specialised in jacket potatoes. (Hipo Coffee  - Carlton Street). The I headed towards the Castle.  I had been feeling a bit under the weather so I had brought some cold pills with me, and had one after lunch.

I managed to get to the Castle using the signs, and paid for a ticket. The lady behind the counter really liked my nails, which was really nice of her to say so. I took some photo's outside then went in to look around the exhibitions. I was in there an hour perhaps, then had a nice tea outside on the terrace.

Then decided I really should get around some shops, as I had not bought any clothes for nearly 24 hours and my purse was starting to feel heavy. I ended up in a Barnado's and found a really nice leather jacket, which went really well with the rest of my outfit, I was really happy to find it. I looked around a few more, eventually ending up back near the Victoria centre, which was where the car was parked. I changed my jacket for the one I had just bought there. I managed to break one of the poppers immediately, as it was a decorative one, and wasn't meant to be tugged at. But not so bad I couldn't wear it. 

I was meeting a friend later for the invasion and got a call from her to say she would be a while, so I decided to go seek food at 'The Dice Cup' gaming café which had been recommended by Joanna. I had a vegan lasagne and a latte - with oat milk. It was nice, but I did feel a bit out of place because I didn't have a beard. Also no mirrors in the loo's !!! I wanted to touch up my foundation but couldn't.

I headed back to the car as my friend was trying to get to the same car park as me, so was hoping to see her come in. Decided to try a dry shave of the top lip using the rear view mirror, didn't go too badly, didn't cut myself. Re-applied my colour corrector and foundation and lipstick.  By which time my friend arrived and we headed to Mc Donalds to feed her.

We went to the New Forrester's straight from there, which would have been easier if we had walked through the shopping centre as it was just on the other side, but it seemed to be shutting so we went the long way around the perimeter. 

Must have been 7:30pm when we arrived, there were not that many people there, but did meet a new lady who had come for the first time, but could only stay for an hour, as her excuse expired - wife wasn't aware. It was a bit cold to sit outside and my cold was kicking in despite having taken a few more pills throughout the day. I think it was about midnight when we walked back to the car park.

Was very tired when eventually got home, but it was totally worth it.  

Thursday 22nd - Chams

This was a very busy meeting, the wig people were also coming in - I'm not sure how much that contributed to getting people there though, more of a coincidence perhaps.

I had got a bargain dress from Everything5Pounds, for £2.90 - which I really loved, and had spent far too much of the work day painting my nails to match it. I messed up and had to re-do them. I was really happy with the look, really into plain dresses and patterned tights.

Ann had come along for the first time which was nice, she seemed to enjoy herself and was chatting away with the other regulars. 

One lady from Invasion also appeared which was very unexpected, don't think that had anything to do with me though, she lived close apparently.

There were a group of ladies who had not been for ages, long time members, they seemed very nice got talking with one, I think from Rutland. 

Maria also turned up - I had vague memories of speaking with her while I was very drunk at Leeds the last time, in the Smokestack, so had really wanted to check I hadn't said anything too embarrassing, but it appears not. I shall have to try harder next time. Spent quite a while talking with her, it was nice.

I didn't get around everyone though, I shall try to inflict myself upon those I missed next time.

The app to charge my car hadn't worked at the church, so I had to drive back at 60mph, as I really didn't fancy stopping to charge. Was very tired the next day, and I had to work too. Got it working at home the next day, think it needed to be updated.

 

Incremental Coming Out ++

So in short I just came out to my mum over WhatsApp messenger - we had what seemed a tortuously long chat via messenger - due to waiting for replies, then we then had a nice 40 minute call together.

Key phrase from chat, and the photo I sent her :

"That is me, I am transgender, I currently present as female  on a regular basis"

I am a bit emotional at the moment, relived, drained, happy,  anxious of how my dad will react.

Joanna has been lovely as well as other friends I've been in touch with during/since.

The longer version:

I had thought that my parents were suspicious of me (seems I was wrong) , I had visited them on Saturday, and not much was said other than that mum liked my new hair. 

I have been growing it on top, in the hope I may be able to have a fairly ambiguous swept over style.

Then today she sent me a WhatsApp suggesting that there was something else different about me, she was convinced I had been wearing contact lenses instead of my usual glasses. I had my glasses on, so no idea how she thought that.

Anyway, since she had got the idea that something was different about me, I thought it might be the easiest opportunity I would ever get to do the deed, so I replied :

"My eyebrows were heavily plucked, my nails were long, and my arms were shaved, my hair is being grown long. My boots had side zips because they were female ones."

I sent that, then the photo above, and this wasn't sufficient as it turns out, so in the end "That is me, I am transgender, I currently present as female  on a regular basis"

We chatted a bit more, then eventually she asked if she could call me. I was going to chicken out, as I was pretty done by this point, but thought I should be brave and get it over with.

It was a lovely call, she was very supportive, and sorry that I had felt the need to hide for so long. We discussed how it affected the family , my wife and kids, and future plans for transition. How my dad was likely to react. That I should be the one to tell my brother - not today though.

I'm not sure it could have gone any better !!

I had assumed it would not go that well at all, I feel a bit guilty for assuming the worst. I had been distancing myself from them, and being rather withdrawn as a result, and they had noticed. 

I suppose could still go bad with my dad, but only time will tell.

Anyway it's another excuse off the list, what will be will be.

Strange times

 Thursday

My work is trying to get everyone back in the office, however the finance team as a whole seems to be getting special treatment. I am also one of the few who's office was closed for good during covid. I was asked what I would be prepared to do, and I suggested going in a few times a month.

The nearest office to me that has space is at Burton upon Trent , which enables me to drive past Chams on the way home if the planets align with my dates.

The first such occurrence was Thursday. I had gotten there quite early, as I really couldn't be bothered working for any longer. But didn't have long to wait as Lynn turned up quite early, and I said hello in the car park. She was able to identify me by my voice at least. 

I had heard the news of the Queens death on the way over, which was all rather unexpected. I guess they go pretty quick at that age. 

I did an insta-izzy basic transformation, which seemed to go quite well, and donned a Voodoo Vixen mustard polka dot dress for the evening. I had taken the blue platinum wig because it was already in a box from the last LFF.

Shortly after I manged to score a lovey black lace dress from Lynn , which given the events is a rather suitable outfit. Not that it is a funeral outfit at all, more the colour I mean. I tried it on for size, and then thought might as well keep it on.

There was a new person - new to me at least, who seemed really nice. It was a good evening overall, although was pretty tired by the end of it. I had bought some nice biscuits from Trowel on the way, chocolate with ginger. 

Joanna was absent with childcare duties which was a shame as I know how much she misses the meetings.

Music seemed to be one of the main topics of the day, and Nirvana's 'In Utero' got a negative mention. This again was a bit of a coincidence, as on the way back I was getting very frustrated at the radio stations who had all been told to go to a subdued playlist. So I hit the CD button, and was blessed with 'In Utero'. Which to be honest didn't keep me entertained that long as I skipped a lot.

Friday - I had a few drinks with my brother after work. I wasn't sure if he had been given the task of finding out what is going on with me. He is being super nice and telling me he is around if I need to talk. 

Perhaps my parents have put him up to it. Anyway I largely avoided talking about everything Izzy related, although couldn't help mention going out around a few places.

I am popping to my parents next weekend. I will see if any more questions arise.

Saturday - we did family things in man-mode, we went to Barnsley and went around the new Glassworks shopping centre. Ate out at the 'Falco Lounge' there. I had Slow-cooked beef brisket, black beans and mature cheddar served with spicy rice, spring onion, red chilli and yoghurt. It was lovely.

Managed to get my wife to help me purchase an autumnal patterned Kurt Muller dress off the market, which was nice of her.

I went for a run later in the evening to try and burn off the calories.

Sunday - I got dressed to do a load of photo's for Insta. I had a backlog of dresses to try on, and also a lace chemise to hide the boob area of some dresses I had not felt able to wear as my forms were visible. They all seemed to work quite well !

Which is nice as they would really have been a waste of money otherwise.

I must add that I don't just buy them for Insta, I actually want to wear them out. But it's useful to have a try on day, and get lots of photo's to narrow down options for choosing :) 

Tonal inconsistency

Thursday

Went to the cinema at Meadowhall with my friend Ann after work on Thursday.

I've never really been into Marvel, but said I was happy to watch the new Thor film 'Love and Thunder'. I wasn't really my cup of tea and afterwards Ann said it perhaps wasn't the best one to watch first. 

But the music choices in it were nice - I think there were three Guns and Roses songs in the end - one of my teenage loves.

We ate at Pizza express first, which was very nice, I had La Reine "The queen" which was ham, mushrooms and olives.

Didn't look in many shops, as we were planning on going around Leeds the next day.

Went back to her hotel for a tea and talked for a bit then I headed home. A very pleasant evening.

Friday

I spent quite a while getting ready in the morning, I wanted to do my eyeliner wings while at home, so i wasn't stressing on the hotel. I do like them to by symmetrical and it takes me an age sometimes. 

It would be the first time the kids would be left on their own for more than half an hour, so I also made sure to make them some lunch. They are both at big school now, so I think it's time we can be a bit more relaxed about leaving them. I ended up checking on them every hour all afternoon until my wife came home from work.

Got into Leeds around 11:30 , and met up with Ann for a coffee in Costa, then we wandered around the shops. Got another (but much cheaper) handbag in T.K.Maxx, then we decided to have a look in the wig shop - this was a mistake.  I have another nice wig, but Ann also ended up with one, so we are even.

These were some of the rejects, I tried at least 10 on I think. Ann bought the middle one.

This is the one I ended up with taken at the Thai restaurant later in the day:

We had a tea and shared a scone in John Lewis, then headed back to check into our rooms at the Travelodge.

We ate out at the lovely Thai place which is just next to the hotel.

I had green chicken curry, and we got a sharing plater for starters. Was gorgeous, but felt very fat afterwards.

After the meal we did an outfit change, then headed for the Marriot.

Had a few drinks in there, I met some more Insta people. It was  little sparse at first, there was a memorial service for the lady that had started the LFF event. But we both felt it would be a little strange to go, as we had never met them. 

Plenty of others were in the bar, so it wasn't too bad.

We did Fibre next, then the Viaduct showbar, back to Fibre , then to smokestack before finishing in the New Penny. Tried some cocktails in the show bar, this was a bad idea.

I had way too much to drink overall, and was feeling really rough in the morning. But I had no man mode fall-back, so I had to get ready. I managed to eat breakfast , but didn't massively help.

I looked a lot better than I felt.

We went for a walk down the river to the Armouries, and had a wander around there for a bit, and another tea.

I felt OK to drive by about 1pm, got home and went back to bed, a bit of a waste of a day really.

Next time I will be good. Well I'll probably be driving for a start, so I will have to be.

Title is referring to what the critics said about the film, and also my tinnitus which is always worse after a night out.