Key phrase from chat, and the photo I sent her :
"That is me, I am transgender, I currently present as female on a regular basis"
I am a bit emotional at the moment, relived, drained, happy, anxious of how my dad will react.
Joanna has been lovely as well as other friends I've been in touch with during/since.
The longer version:
I had thought that my parents were suspicious of me (seems I was wrong) , I had visited them on Saturday, and not much was said other than that mum liked my new hair.
I have been growing it on top, in the hope I may be able to have a fairly ambiguous swept over style.
Then today she sent me a WhatsApp suggesting that there was something else different about me, she was convinced I had been wearing contact lenses instead of my usual glasses. I had my glasses on, so no idea how she thought that.
Anyway, since she had got the idea that something was different about me, I thought it might be the easiest opportunity I would ever get to do the deed, so I replied :
"My eyebrows were heavily plucked, my nails were long, and my arms were shaved, my hair is being grown long. My boots had side zips because they were female ones."
I sent that, then the photo above, and this wasn't sufficient as it turns out, so in the end "That is me, I am transgender, I currently present as female on a regular basis"
We chatted a bit more, then eventually she asked if she could call me. I was going to chicken out, as I was pretty done by this point, but thought I should be brave and get it over with.
It was a lovely call, she was very supportive, and sorry that I had felt the need to hide for so long. We discussed how it affected the family , my wife and kids, and future plans for transition. How my dad was likely to react. That I should be the one to tell my brother - not today though.
I'm not sure it could have gone any better !!
I had assumed it would not go that well at all, I feel a bit guilty for assuming the worst. I had been distancing myself from them, and being rather withdrawn as a result, and they had noticed.
I suppose could still go bad with my dad, but only time will tell.
Anyway it's another excuse off the list, what will be will be.
Hi Isobel, great news that you've told your Mum and she's very supportive, that's cool. I wish you luck telling your brother and your Dad, i'll keep my fingers crossed for you that all goes well.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely photo to send to your Mum too, I'm a big fan of that colour top you're wearing and it suits you well.
Thankyou - my dad worries me the most, but I probably shouldn't assume the worst of people.
DeleteIt's actually a dress which also matches my car colour quite well. .
It was from everything5pounds originally, they have put their prices up a bit now though. I've just ordered some more for autumn, I don't have too many warm ones.
I remember worrying about telling my Dad but he took the news extremely well. I think he was more worried about others find out as it may result in him being the butt of any jokes.
DeleteHe did ask me why I couldn't just stop doing what I do but I told him I didn't want to.
Initial feedback is that is OK but confused - hopefully not as confused as me
DeleteWow wow wow!
ReplyDeleteSo pleased about the long conversation with your Mum too! Sounds really good!
As for feeling guilty - don't. I thought I would lose two of my friends when I told them and, in the end, thought it was better to lose them than not tell them. And they were brilliant. Better than I could ever have dared hope. I felt guilty about that. But, as one of them pointed out: I had been scared for so long I wasn't being rational. They also suggested it was their fault for not listening enough (ridiculous). Point? Guilt is normal, don't lean into it.
So happy for you!
Thankyou, and for being on hand with support during the events !
DeleteWow, that's very cool and brave. Good to hear that it went well.
ReplyDeleteBTW, umm, contacts *and* glasses? But... why....? 😁
Thankyou - well not heard much about my dad yet, but no bad news either I suppose.
DeleteI think she thought I wasn't wearing glasses at all, which is just odd. She must have seen there was something different but couldn't put her finger on it.