Causing hurt

Well it's a bit grey and miserable here, and I'm not feeling that happy to be honest. 

I had been pondering hormones for some time, and I happened to be on the GenderGP site just to get a link for a friend who I had been chatting to on Facebook about it.

Anyway, I was feeling very motivated, and ended up signing up. I told my wife later that day and she is less than pleased with me.

GenderGP itself wasn't the whole problem, more that I didn't talk to her before doing it - although I had mentioned the possibility on here before. We probably don't talk enough.

But I also mentioned I was thinking about going full time next year. I had thought about this timescale in terms of my facial laser being largely complete by then.

I'm very lucky to have the freedom I've got at the moment, but not sure it will be enough.

I've spoken to a lot of people over the last year and a bit, and heard their stories. Some have said that it just needs to get done, sod everyone that stands in your way, they have regretted not doing it earlier.

There are plenty of others who have sacrificed their own needs for the sake of their family.

Clearly the needs of my kids should come first, but had the marriage been on the rocks for any other reason, would it still be best to persevere for their sake. We are not opening arguing in front of them as yet - I hope we can proceed calmy if anything does need to happen.

She had previously suggested being classified as separated, but still legal married and living under the same roof, I don't know if this is still a possibility.

We lead very separate lives already, so to be honest aside from what we were classified to those outside the house, I don't think much would change.

I am very torn, I really don't want to hurt anyone.

Gender GP 

You sign up online, there are pages of questions they ask you, they give you a list of all the side effects.

On completion, you pay the fee, they organise an information gathering session with a trained counsellor. 

10 minute Izzy

I had my video call yesterday (Wednesday), I did partially dress for the occasion, I put a wig some lipstick did my eyebrows and put a dress on.

She was really lovely, we talked about my childhood, my crossdressing, current relationship status. Part of it was going over the questions asked on the forms already. I told it as it was, was very honest and open. 

When it ended she congratulated me and wished me best of luck on my journey. I was feeling very euphoric at the time - it reminded me of how I felt driving back from my first Chams visit, and being out dressed for the first time.

It felt like a bit of a leap forward had been made.

Once she has typed up her report, I should get contacted by the medical staff to discuss the treatment I wanted. This was a micro dose of estrogen - to take thing slowly, not really HRT as such. 

https://www.gendergp.com/hormones-and-microdosing-does-it-have-to-be-all-or-nothing/