The week after my walking weekend I had the house to myself and a few days off. Benni was still in the area sorting her mums house out for sale, so I took advantage of this and a meal out with her on one day, and lunch on another.
Her mums house is only 20 minutes away from me, I don't really have many friends close so it was a nice change to do more casual meetup rather than it being a weekend away.
I also did some work on the car to try and sort some niggles that had come up on the trip.
Dyed my hair
It didn't work as well as I expected, I think i should have left it on longer, but it's still a nice colour on top.
It did work a lot better than the 'foan' type one I used before, I may give this brand another go, but leave it on much longer next time.
Brunch with Ex-Colleagues
On the Wednesday (the 7th) , I went into Leeds to meet up with two work colleagues who had sadly been made redundant recently. One was a long time colleague 10 years+ who had come with me from my old company when we were bought. We didn't speak that much at work, but did try and have a natter once a week, and it was nice having her there to chat to if I did need to.
She was one of the first people I came out to, a few years ago (after my wife) , and had been very supportive with my intention to come out at work, so it was a shame she left around the same time that I did. It was the first time she had seen me in person dressed - we had been on calls, and I had shown her pictures over the years.
It went really well, and we had brunch in Flamingo's in the Central Arcade in Leeds - a LGBTQ+ café, that doesn't do bad food.
There was also a male colleague who was also very nice, and I had been working with closely for a number of years - that all went good, he did screw up pronouns once, but clearly not intentional.
I banged the rear passenger side wheel arch getting the MG out of the multistorey car park, which was a shame. So she is no longer pristine :(
Chameleons
Made sure to get to this one, as I knew I would have to miss the next one due to a clash with Peterborough beer festival. Ann had brought a ball gown for me to try on, as unfortunately it was too narrow on her shoulders.
It seemed to fit OK, but I think I would struggle to eat much with it, was a bit tight on the tummy. Would love to lose some weight, but my feet have not been happy since the walking, and I haven't done as much exercise as I should these last weeks.
I also got rid of a weird head that Benni was chucking out, I managed to palm it off on Sally - there was talk of it perhaps being cursed, but I haven't heard anything from her to back that up yet :)
Was fab to catch up with Ann and Sally, and I did manage to speak with a newbie for a bit too - emailed her some information on LFF too :)
Saturday - The Yorkshire Wartime Experience
This is an annual event where there are lots of vintage military vehicles, some on static display, others take part in parades around a central field and also partake in mock battles with infantry reenactors.
The weather wasn't the best, but it was still a nice afternoon. I got some bits at one of the tool stores, and had a good browse on some of the stalls which sold vintage clothes and accessories too. From rocket launchers , uniforms, to handbags and hats :)
Popped into the beer tent for one, just to be sociable too. Queued for ages to get a pizza for myself and the eldest, wasn't too bad. Made sure to get an ice-cream too
We went to my parents on the way back, as it was fairly close to them - this would have been the 1st time they would have seen me in a dress. My brother and his girlfriend were there. It didn't go too bad, but my brother did deadname me which took me by surprise. Not sure if it was due to my dad seeming to not want to call me by my correct name, or just a simple mistake.
Will have to see what happens in the future - I didn't correct him.
Sunday - Wakefield Pride
Pride was good, I got to meet up with some of the Trans-Wakefield lot. They didn't seem very organised in terms of joining the march, so I ended up sneaking into the Leeds council group, as there were a few people I knew in that one. Someone from LFF , and a partner of somebody who had previously been in Trans-Wakefield but had been kicked out, or left depending on who you asked.
The march itself isn't very long, and you end up in a car park with a stage and stalls. There was some decent beer on, but I could only have a few halves.
I did meet a few other LFF's there which was nice, had a brief chat with them. I stayed for a few hours, the Cheeky girls were meant to be on, but there was no schedule and I couldn't wait all afternoon so decided to head down the LGBTQ+ café 'Our House' to see who was there.
I popped into a charity shop and got some sun glasses and a dress on the way :)
Had a hot chocolate in the café and found a couple of friends to talk to for a bit, then headed home. It was a nice afternoon, and glad I went.
Cyberdyne Systems prototype model 69 'Isobel' proved unreliable in service, preferring to eat kebabs and drink beer rather than kill humans
What have I been up to ( aside from not writing a blog ) :
Leeds Pride - 21/07
Chameleons - 25/07
Family Meal - 26/07
Emley Moor - 28/07
LFF - 01/08 - 02/08
Walking In the Dales - 03/08 - 04/08
Leeds Pride
It was really good, just did the Sunday this year as it wasn't tagged on the end of an LFF weekend. I had my 360 camera on a 3 meter selfie stick and got the march. The turnout was big, and it was such a nice atmosphere. We had fun times in a few pubs afterwards, then onwards to the 'Boom Battle Bar' where there were games to play - they did Axe Throwing !!!!
...but they were blunt axes , not sure if by design, or just lack of maintenance.
It was fun, but Rebecca won, I came 2nd at least.
Chameleons
It was a good night as always :)
Family Meal
Myself, my wife and kids went to an Estabulo Bar and Grill in Barnsley - it's only worthy of note because it's not something I have done a lot of really at all. Most of my outings over the last few years have been with my friends. We haven't done a vast amount of outings as a family with me dressed. This is clearly now going to change now.
It went well, and we had a nice time in the restaurant. Afterwards we went to superdrug for some hair dye, then to the indoor market. I bought a couple of dresses from one of the stalls on the upper level.
Was a very pleasant afternoon.
Emley Moor
I was taking Josephine to the Dales in the few weeks time, and had been working on her, replacing the fuel tank and fuel line. Decided to go for a pootle out to Emley Moor mast to make sure all was well before such a long journey - also I had never been before.
LFF
Benni and Ann were up the day before so we ended up meeting up on Thursday night, eating out at Las Iguanas. I had a few cocktails, and some spicy food - this was likely not the best idea I've ever had.
I wasn't feeling great the next day, but got through till midnight, mostly drinking water - but I actually still had a really good time. I wore a 'romantic' style dress , which was quite short for me, and my rainbow heels. But I had to go change after a few hours, as the heels were killing me.
Pints and Straws was good, numbers were back up again. I had gone in Josephine as I was taking her to the dales for a walking weekend with Alice, Rebecca and Olivia the day after. Was a bit worried about leaving her in the car park, but nothing bad happened.
Dales Walking
I had breakfast in Leeds at Riveresque , met Olivia in the car park at Level 8 - she was very hungover. The journey over was OK aside from breaking down going up a steep hill on a windy road. I had to change the ignition coil at the roadside. 5 or 6 people stopped to assist, but I didn't need them.
She managed to get us to the pub fine, but I was taking it a bit slower than normal, as had lost a bit of confidence in her.
Alice and Rebecca were already there when we got there , and had ordered lunch. So I did the same, and gave Oliva (who was still suffering) some of my chips.
After lunch we went up a hill which was very very steep and rocky , I was immediately feeling quite out of breath and not up to the task, and Alice was powering upwards at great speed - she has much longer legs than me. But thankfully, the terrain became less vertical, and the walk much more enjoyable.
It was a warm day, but we all had plenty of water with us. I got lent a walking pole which really did help too. We stopped at a pub after 10 km or so, and had a beer as well. I was holding everyone up a bit on the way back to the pub we were staying at, but not bad enough to cause friction.
We had some lovely food - fox pie (didn't contain any fox, was chicken and shroom), and more beer in the evening, I was feeling very tired though, and ended up going to bed fairly early.
The next day we met for a fab fried breakfast, then headed out on another walk. This one started off fairly leisurely, but we were going over a really big hill to another village with a pub, then the plan was to go back over the hill a different way back to our base pub. This was not a fun hill, but we did make it up,
We had packed lunches from the pub which we ate at the highest point we got to - I happened to have a trans flag with me, so we also got some photo's of us all waving that :)
While descending into the next valley, Rebecca twisted her knee, and was in a bit of pain. We got down fine, and had a refreshing beer at the pub there. However she wasn't confident she should get back up the big hill, so we ended up going around the hill on the road, which was a lot longer in terms of distance. My feet were not good at all, and I was way behind at some points, But we did make it to civilisation eventually. There was a pub in a village about 4km from where we were staying, so we had a couple in there to recover.
The last 4km I had to go in front to set the pace otherwise they would have been stopping every 5 mins for me to catch up. But the beer did help numb the pain a bit.
I was very glad to be back, and also to be on time for the evening meal we had booked. I had a beef roast, which was fantastic. I couldn't drink much more beer though, ended up on soft drinks,
My digestive system was most unhappy with what I had been putting it though, and I had a really bad nights sleep.
Did manage to have breakfast the next day, and get home dropping Olivia off on the way. It was a really good weekend and so glad I did it !
This was my 3rd Sparkle, and quite possibly my last if some rumours are to be believed !
The 1st one was magical, lovely weather, and well attended as it was the 1st after lockdown - it was a fabulous weekend. The second one was a bit of a let down due to torrential rain that spoilt both the day and evening.
This one we had OK weather, we were able to mingle in the gardens for the day events without fear of sunburn or requiring diving equipment.
Friday
I got there just after lunch on the Friday, meeting up with Ann, Benni and Stephanie who had arrived slightly before me.
We grabbed some food, had a beer in a nice little tap room and did a bit of shopping at Aflecks. We all seemed to end up with a pair of earrings :) - I can't actually remember what I did with mine, I might have to go hunting later !
We got changed met at the hotel bar where Charlotte also joined us, then we headed out for food at a pub we had seen on our travels - we had tried to get a table at a tapas place first but they were fully booked.
Other friends were arriving later, and some were bringing companions, so it ended up with about 10 of us at the meal. Was very nice food - I had a pint of Boddingtons, as I was told that this was one of the few places in Manchester you could still buy it.
It's not brewed there anymore, but still tasted better than I remember.
In the evening we attempted to be fairly good and not drink too much, but think we failed a little. We did a few places on Canal street. It was a good night.
Saturday
We had a breakfast at the hotel bar, which was pretty nice - usual fry up buffet.
In the morning we headed to the gardens to look at the stalls and see what was on. Myself and Ann had a brief visit to a pub a short walk away to meet up with Gemma - it was somewhere I had fancied going last time, but turned out to look a lot better on the outside than the inside :)
We headed back to the gardens for a bit and went around more of the stalls. A few of us went for food at a little bistro off canal street mid afternoon. I actually went back to my room for a bit of a nap for an hour after this, the lack of sleep had caught up with me.
After this re-charge we headed out for more food, which was a bit early really, but we wanted to hit the bars fairly quickly so thought was a good idea. Ended up at a bar in the norther quarter - I got a spicy beef dish but it was very salty and didn't manage much of it.
There was some entertainment watching a peddle bar getting towed away on a trailers outside though.
In the evening it was more of the same, we did go to the gardens again initially, and had a beer in the refreshment tent and watched some of the acts on stage. Managed to talk to Grai the main LFF organiser which was nice - I hardly get chance to talk to her normally.
Also met up with Romile who I seem destined to only meet for a few hours a year at a random event, but was nice all the same.
We had tickets for a club night that had been organised by Sparkle at 9pm, but did a few bars on Canal street first before walking the 10 minutes to the venue. It was a bit of a shambles, apparently there was a communication issue where the club thought the DJ's were brining the equipment, but they thought the club was providing !
They left us queuing outside for 15 mins, moving where the queue was. Someone was trying to be helpful and get us in a different door, only for the door staff to send us back to where we were initially queuing. Then they started talking about getting ID, and bag checking us all - by this point a few of us were getting itchy feet and wanted to abandon ship, and I led the charge back to canal street, with a few trying to keep up in their heels ( I was in flats 🤣 )
We did a few more bars, and had a pleasant rest of the night. Did a bit of dancing, I can't remember what time we got back to the hotel, but wasn't too sozzled.
Sunday
Another fry up at the hotel in the morning, and then it was soon time to head home. Most people had trains booked so were going back first thing. I said my goodbyes and headed home, was not a bad drive.
Aside from the wasted time and money for the night club , it was really nice to be back in Manchester - it's still a fab place to go back to every now and then, nice to have some variety. I don't find it as good as Leeds overall, but still worth the trip.
Progesterone seems to be really helping me with my sleep, but perhaps too much. I swear I feel slightly sedated and unmotivated the next day after taking it. I've not been taking it after drinking as it is supposed to amplify it's effects, so not being having it every night.
They are not solid pills, so you can't cut them in half - I invested in a pill cutter to try lower dosages of finasteride. Given up on taking those all together though for the moment.
Still doing 3 pumps a day on the oestrogen gel.
Family
My mum seemed shocked that it went OK with my parents in law, and I wonder if she was holding out hope that it would go really bad, and that I would be forced to rethink my life choices. She seems to have made more of an effort since, she actually used my correct name twice in WhatsApp messages !!
So far has not used the wrong one either - but on the phone I haven't had a correct use yet.
Work
No issues, all is still good, been managing to get up a earlier and get my makeup on - still a fairly minimal look. Went for a walk down the river at lunchtime on Monday, found some nice potential spots for photo's under the motorway bridge :)
Morris Minor National Meeting
So overall this wasn't as good as I had hoped. I was a bit nervous about attending, but we still excited to be doing so.
I had gone down to Chameleons on the Thursday night, and had stayed over at the Belfry nearby. After a very nice fried breakfast I had visited Wollaton Hall to kill some time. I was told I couldn't get into the camping area at the motor museum until 4pm, which was not accurate as it turns out.
So I decided to visit Wollaton, as it looked like a good way to spend the morning. There is an industrial museum there that I wanted to visit, as well as a natural history museum and the grounds to explore.
Josephine needed a drink so we filled up at the petrol station nearby and drove the short distance to the hall.
It was a pretty good visit - the industrial museum unfortunately didn't open on a Friday, but the Natural
History museum in the hall was fab - and you got to see a lot of the hall too. I had a tea in one of the cafe's too. It was a bit windy so I didn't spend too much time exploring the grounds, and decided to set off to Gaydon, but call in somewhere on the way to grab some lunch and kill another hour. This would allow me to arrive at 4pm.
Draycote Water looked to be a good choice, as it looked quite scenic and had a visitor centre with a restaurant too.
On the way down, I ended up on the M69 and ended up with a camper van following us for ages - at a respectful distance, I happened to look in the mirror just as it was pulling off onto the hard shoulder - later turns out it was a fellow Minor owner, they said hello at the show :)
On arriving at Draycote, I walked to the restaurant and was shown to a table by a nice woman. I went up to order at the tills, and some bloke in front accidentally knocked the crisps all over the floor, but was then time for me to order. There was a lady coming out of the kitchen a short distance from the server at the tills, and when I ordered she seemed to burst out laughing. The girl on the till was trying to be professional but she had been set off by this other lady.
I was quite taken aback, I've had nasty things said about me, and bad looks, but never been laughed at in that manner. This did quite upset me, but the girl on the till seemed to recompose herself, and after a short silence took my order. I don't have any hard evidence she was laughing at me, but I can only assume it was to do with my voice when I ordered. I am quite self conscious about this - it was in fact a major worry for me when first attending Chameleons.
Anyway this did not put me in the best frame of mind, and I was a bit down for the rest of the visit. The food wasn't bad, and I interacted with 3 members of staff there who treated me really nice, it was just that one that seemed to have an issue.
I hung around until 3ish, so that my remaining journey time would get me to Gaydon at 4pm. The rest of the drive was uneventful, and I arrived at the museum, and the camping marshal gave me instructions on where to pitch. There were loads of people already setup, and not much room left, but I did park up and get a nice spot on the hill overlooking the museum.
There was a chap next to me, and I shouted across to make sure he was happy I had left him enough room. The camping marshal had said 3 meters, but there wasn't enough room for that, and I even ended up with someone camping in the 3m gap between my tent and the person who pitched up next to me on the other side.
Had a bit of a chat with the guy next to me, but we failed to introduce ourselves properly. He had driven from Clacton, and was having a bit of a lay down before putting his tent up.
I managed to get my tent up, and went for a bit of a walk to explore the facilities. Finding the tap to replenish my water supplies. Met a young chap who was also doing the same. He later shouted to me that he liked my grille as we drove past each other on the next morning.
That evening I didn't really do much else, I tried out my gas stove and cooked some meatballs in tomato sauce - made me feel a bit sick to be honest. But was better than nothing. I was quite tired, and decided to go to bed early so I would be fresh in the morning.
Saturday
I experienced the joys of shaving using a cup in a tent - didn't go too badly ! I got dressed and walked down to the parking area where the cars were to be shown. I chatted to a couple of marshals to find out where I could join in - I had never done this before so had no idea what normally happens. Then after a loo stop went back to fetch the car and park in the area they had told me.
I did some wandering around, looking at other cars, did the auto jumble stores, grabbed a bacon roll and a tea too. Didn't really get much interaction, I saw a Youtuber who had been nice to me, and went to talk to her. She was nice enough, but seemed to be on a mission to get around stuff, so I let her get on her way. She told me one of the organisers of the women's drivers club was around, I did see her but she was quite busy too , and didn't get chance to speak.
I grabbed a burger from a van for lunch, it was quite nice, then looked around the motor museum for abit. Ann was going to pop down on her motorbike in the afternoon, but it was quite sunny so didn't want to just sit around waiting.
I did go sit by the car for a bit, putting my 360 camera on a long pole on her roof, so I could do a timelapse. It worked OK , going to do it as s video next time, it's easier than combining all the images into one.
Ann arrived in the afternoon, and we grabbed a drink in the museum café, and explored the exhibits. It was nice to have a friendly face there, didn't know anyone else, and had not found it easy to make new friends.
We grabbed an ice-cream as the van pulled up just as we were nearby, it was a hot afternoon and they had missed out on a lot of trade turning up so late.
Ann departed, and I went back to the car for a bit - the show part finished at 4pm, and I had to move her back to the camping area.
I had originally hoped to spend the evening having a few drinks, and attempting to socialise with other attendees, but the bar had gone bust, and I only had a few cans of warm cider I had brought with me. The entertainment also seemed quite lacklustre, as it was just a stage set up on the back of a truck. There was no seating, and the food stalls had closed. So I was quite disappointed, and made the decision to head home early.
I did have a nice chat with Bruce before I left - we did eventually exchange names :) He had an earlier Minor with a split screen, and also a more retro themed bell tent. Which I perhaps might look at if I do more of these.
I drove home and got in after 9pm, it was mostly light all the way home, but did rain a bit. Was a nice enough journey. Stopped off for fuel at a services and the guy in the garage complemented my car which was nice.
Overall, it was good to have done it - I did have a nice time, but it would have been better if I had not gone on my own, but I don't really know anyone who would have wanted to join. Bruce did mention that previous years had much better food / drink / entertainment, so hopefully it was just a bad year for it.
I have another camping adventure with the northern meetup of the Women's drivers social club in August - a Facebook group I was invited to. It will likely be less than 10 of us, and so I should hopefully get more chance to interact, there is no hiding in a crowd with so few.
Leeds First Friday
In brief - it was very quiet , likely due to Sparkle / Leeds pride happening in the same month. We had a low turnout for Pints and Straws, but it was still nice. Sally from Chameleons made it up again, was really lovely to see her.
I had picked Bennie up, and we did brunch at the pub on the canal near hers, then proceeded to Leeds where we did some photo's on the multistorey roof. We had a drink, and did some shopping before heading to Pints and Straws.
Pints and Straws was good despite the low turnout, and was nice to chill out and enjoy some interesting beers. I ended up eating a Bau at the Northern Tap Room, and a gammon and duck egg at the Tetley.
We retired to the room to get changed, then headed to the Bridge End Social for the main event. We did the usual , Shed, 'The End' , Smokestack. Both myself and Benni had one too many cocktails - not helped by one of the server in the Shed getting distracted whilst making some for us, and seemingly doubling the alcohol content of it.
We had some chips from big bites, made sure Sally got to her hotel, and were back in our room for after 2am.
Saturday we were meant to be heading to a beer festival in the afternoon, but the weather wasn't the best, and a few of us were not feeling great. Neither myself or Benni managed to eat all out breakfast, and we ended up doing the Leeds gothic market in the morning.
We had a few beers in the afternoon, then went back for a snooze ! then met up again later. We were thinking of going for a pizza for tea, but Olivia started complaining of chest pains, which seemed more like indigestion, so we took her back to the hotel to have a lay down for a bit. Ended up getting pizza delivered there and eating on the bed :)
Oliva got the train home, and then we headed back out for a few hours, ended up playing pool in the bridge end social - I lost three nil :(
Sunday we had breakfast at Riveresque again, it was warm enough to sit outside, an American who had bought an apartment on the opposite bank stopped to ask if we could see through his windows !
We had exhausted all of Leeds delights, so we checked out and I drove Benni home on the way back to mine. It was a pretty good weekend all in all :)
Well I finally got around to telling my parents-in-law. I did it by email, I really didn't want to do it on the phone, as I figured it would not go well.
I got to the point fairly quickly, and then onto how it impacted my wife and the kids, and that they were largely OK with it.
My wife ended up on the phone to them shortly afterwards, and they have actually seemed to take it a lot better than I had thought.
I did say it would perhaps be a bit too much to go on the week long family holiday planned for later in the year - there would be 3 families and the grandparents (my in laws) under one roof, with a number of kids.
If we had separate accommodation where I could retreat I might have considered it.
I had a short but nice message back from my mother in law, not had any contact with my father in law, but my wife said he seemed very unphased or bothered by it !
My brother popped over to see me this Wednesday, and show me his newly painted car. It was the 1st time he or his girlfriend had seen me in person dressed. It went well, as if nothing had changed, which was really nice.
Also got to go for a bit of a drive in his car, which is quite a bit faster than mine !
Work
Everything seems OK, my teams has eventually updated for everyone. I've had plenty of calls with people, and they have all treated me normally.
I went into the office twice last week, there were only a few of us in, but it went fine. I was in a Joe Browns dress the 1st day, then a long utility dress on the Tuesday.
I got some questions about what operations I might have from a long time colleague, which i had sort of been expecting. Had it been someone I barely knew it would have been less appropriate, but it's must be 6 years we've worked together at least.
Had a nice call from my boss while I was in the office too, he wanted to be sure I had no plans to leave, as I was a key employee - which is always nice to hear.
I am back in the office tommorow, might do jeans and a top this time perhaps. I am not 100% sure that floral dresses meet with the dress code - but I guess I am highly unlikely to be told off for fear of upsetting me :)
Social Events
I did Stockport beer festival on the 21st. I popped into the bank when I arrived in the morning so I could get my name changed on my account. Did a bit of shopping , and a had a beer in a nice tap house before checking into the hotel.
I was joining a couple of friends, and had to wait while one of them glammed up, but did eventually get to the beer festival in the late afternoon.
It is a nice little festival, we stayed until after 10pm, there was food on, I had a chilli, and got some cheese and crackers too. I was dressed fairly sensibly compared to one my friends, she gets a lot of attention with her LED dress and handbag.
I was at Chameleons this Thursday, I had driven down in the Morris because I was heading to the owners club national meeting the day after. I had failed to read the forum again, so was surprised that the car park was shut.
It was not big deal though, I just parked at my hotel and got an Uber in - I didn't want to leave my fully packed car on the street.
Considering the issues with the parking there was a really good turnout, I initially thought it might be fairly quiet - nice to see so many make the effort. Ann gave me a white chocolate Biscoff KitKat to try - it was quite nice :)
Ann gave me a lift back to the hotel, and she got changed there - it seems there was a prom on at the hotel, so it was difficult to get into the car park. There were lots of young ladies in very nice ball gowns, I was most jealous !
I will blog about the Morris Minor national separately.
My name change at work was largely completed on Friday the 14th of June.
My email, Teams , HR login and a few other systems were all updated during the course of the day. Aside from having to restart Onedrive all went to plan ! I did have to manually change my profile picture on a few of them, but that was no great hassle.
I had emailed around 40 colleagues on the Thursday afternoon - partly as a lot of them would have been off on the Friday, so wanted to make sure they saw the email in good time. I had a number of lovely messages back from perhaps 10 of them so far. A few teams messages too.
There are a few women who I would have hoped to have got a message back from, but haven't - but I have also had a few of the guys send me nice messages, so it's not worked out badly.
The email was a slightly modified version of one Ann sent to me, that had been used by one of her colleagues :
Hello,
I hope you are well - I have some important news to
share with you.
It may surprise you to learn that I am transgender.
I have been living as a woman outside of work for a while now, and I feel ready
to make this change in my professional life as well.
Starting from Friday the 14th of June, I will be
going by the name Isobel (or Izzy for short) and using she/her pronouns. All of
my IT accounts will be updated throughout the day, although it may be Monday
before everything is in synch.
I kindly ask you to respect my identity and refer
to me accordingly. This is not a whim or a phase, but a core part of who I am.
I understand that this may be new or confusing for
you, and that you may have questions or concerns. I am happy to answer any
reasonable questions you may have, as long as they are respectful and
appropriate. You can email me privately or talk to me in person if you prefer.
I also want to reassure you that I am still the
same person you know and work with. I am not expecting you to change your
behaviour or attitude towards me drastically. You don't have to walk on
eggshells around me or avoid certain topics. Just treat me as you would any
other colleague.
I know that mistakes can happen, especially in the
beginning. If you accidentally misgender me or use my old name, don't make a
big deal out of it. Just correct yourself and move on. What matters to me is
your intent, not your perfection.
I appreciate your support and understanding in this
transition. I am looking forward to continuing working with you as my true
self.
Best Regards,
I was dressed for the first time on Friday (working from home) , but I only had two calls that day, one from someone who had been notified, and had sent me a nice message, and one from one of my closer colleagues who had known about me for some time, and was checking up on me. So I haven't really interacted with many people as yet.
I will likely get more calls on Monday, I shall report back :)
Telling my Parents
My dad has been waiting on a letter from the DVLA confirming he is still OK to drive. I had visited my parents yesterday, and this got brought up in conversation. I mentioned I had my new drivers license back (it arrived late last week). My mum's curiosity got the better of her, and she asked why I needed a new one, so I mentioned I had changed my name.
I could see she wasn't very happy, but I had taken my youngest with me, and I don't think she wanted to cause a fuss in front of him. She did ask me what I preferred to be called, then continued to use my dead name for the rest of the time we were there - three or four times.
I also got a funny look, as I had gone with eyebrows done, and some foundation on my beard shadow area.
My dad seemed oblivious, didn't really say anything, and deadnamed me when I left - with what is going on with his health I don't really mind with him, it could well be the last year I have with him, so I am not going to get upset with him over this.
My mum did send me a Whatsapp after I had returned home, wishing me a happy fathers day for tommorow - normally she would use my name in the message, but this time there was no name at all. So perhaps she will be attempting to not use one at all - which is better than my deadname at least.
I did wonder on reflection if the fathers day thing was another dig, potentially reminding me of my birth gender again, she seems to do this every so often. But I might just be paranoid.
3rd Parties
I got my drivers license back, and separately the deed poll I had sent. I had folded it, as I figure it's better to have a few copies that I can mail out, which I can reuse for other things, rather than spending a lot more on postage to send in big envelopes.
I've notified the electoral register, but not heard back - no idea if I will be able to vote now.
I did tell the HMRC too, using their online system, expecting to hear back from them asking me to post in the deed poll, but also not heard back.
Hoping to go into the bank on Friday to get things started with them, now I have some photo ID.
There are a few suppliers at work I need to email on Monday too. I've been able to change my gas/electric details online with no proof, so I will be able to print out utility statements soon which will serve as other forms of ID too.
I've also done things like Amazon and Vinted, as I can now prove who I am to go pick things up if there are delivery issues.
LinkedIn - posted some pics on Insta / Facebook to see what people suggested in terms of hair tied up or down. Most people said down, so I went with that.
Still need to do the Doctors, and will now need to notify Nottingham GIC that the NHS number on my application will need updating when I get a new one.
Might do my mobile phone contract in a bit.
Medical Updates
I had a box of goodies from GenderGP, not wanting to play side effect roulette, I decided to try one new medication at any time, so I can be sure which one is causing me issues if I get any.
I have done a trial of the Finasteride this week (1mg), not 100% sure but think my tinnitus was a bit worse. There was also a bit of skin itching. I only did a few days, I will likely start on them again this week, but perhaps only taking half a pill a day.
I have not tried the progesterone yet, or the blocker - I am thinking I probably don't even need the blocker and that it was a bit of a waste of time getting it. The Finasteride will suppress my T level, and also increasing my E dosage to 3 pumps a day should also suppress it a bit more too.
My doctor has asked me to schedule another blood test, I am not sure if he just knows that I would want one sooner rather later anyway, he was concerned my E levels were too high - which they for someone with a male NHS number, but he did put in the notes he was aware I was on gel, as I had told him this.
Cosmetic News
I tried a new hair dye by John Freida, it was a foam type - meant to be a amber/brown. It has worked OK on my grey, but on my darker hair it's not done much. I didn't like how it went on, I have ordered some Schwarzkopf from Amazon to try - 'Cranberry Bliss' , I am hoping this will work better !
Social events
LFF was fab, there were four girls from Chameleons there, for three of them it was their 1st time. They all seemed to enjoy themselves. I was good, and remained relatively sober, despite several flaming cocktails in the Shed (Flaming Zombies).
I walked one of the girls back to the hotel from the Smokestack, and got her in the lift as she seemed a bit wobbly. Then went back for a bit, and ended up taking another one back via Big Bites as well.
Ann managed to get the last one back after I had retired to bed, one had gone to bed early after the food, but it was not her 1st time.
I should have been at Chameleons on the Thursday night before my name change at work, but the car park was closed, and I really wanted a good nights sleep before that day, as besides the stress of the change, I also had some really important work to do !
Hopefully will be at the next one.
Last night I was at an 80's night in Hull, which was great - although I am waiting for a bus lane fine, as I am sure I was in one during a time when I shouldn't.
Josephine
I did some cool external videos' with my mounting system on the car, and my YouTube channel numbers seem to be growing a lot faster since the breakdown video - but have attracted more peddle pumpers. Well at least people are watching the videos :)
The deed poll was indeed kindly done by Lynn and Ann at Chams on the 23rd of May. Monday was a bank holiday, so it was Tuesday before I notified work.
I sent an email to my boss first, indicating that I would be talking to HR. He rang my back pretty quickly after getting the email, but unfortunately due to issues with Teams not playing call notification through the speaker, I missed it. I sent him a message, but it was then a good few hours before he tried again.
That stressed me out a little. But when I did finally get to speak with him it went well.
I explained I would likely agree a date with HR to do a switchover, as all the IT systems would need updating at the same time - perhaps on a day off.
He asked if it was OK to keep using my old name and pronouns until this had happened - partly in case anything we sent each other needed to be forwarded to anyone else who was not in the know yet. It seemed sensible to do this, so had no issue.
I emailed HR after this, slightly amending the wording of the email I had sent my boss. She replied saying that she didn't see any issue in principle, but asked my permission to talk with IT first, then we could have a call about it.
She sent me an invite for the next day, so I didn't have long to wait. IT had advised it was better for it all to happen on a working day, so that if I had issues logging into anything, someone would be on hand to fix it. Fridays are better as 1/2 the company is off depending on what cycle they are on.
So it ended up being set for the 14th of June :)
The HR lady was lovely, and admitted that I would be the 1st to do this, but she didn't want me to feel like a guinea pig. I did offer to send her some material that could perhaps prove useful if anyone needed any assistance with getting their heads around this. She mentioned that the standard policy's included the protections that I already knew I had, which was good, and seemed to be really on my side, which was fab :) . I felt quite emotional afterwards, in a good way !
Adventures
I did Blackpool with four friends last weekend. It was really good, got some nice photos and 3D footage.
We were staying at the Garnet hotel, a first for me - it was really good, the breakfast was excellent. Although my veggie friend didn't like the meat free sausages, and after trying one I could see why.
I picked up Bennie from Wakefield before heading over the Pennines, we arrived around lunch time.
As I was trying to get the new chargers working two other friends pulled into the same car park. There was also a weird guy who started talking to us - then I recognised his voice , it was another of us in drab. I had never seen her in guy more before :)
We ate at the station café for lunch, it's not actually in the station , it's just near it. We just did some shopping in the afternoon. Had a meal at Peek-a-booze late afternoon.
In the evening we largely did the normal venues, Ma-Kellys, Galleon , Garlands and finishing at the Flying handbag
We went up the tower on the Saturday morning. Randomly I got a photo with a Dalek in a washing machine shop on the way there !
I saw my friend Bella on the Saturday evening in the DragonFly for a short while, I had some bits that she bought in Whitby a while ago, and had somehow got left in my car. But she didn't seem to want to stay out with us.
Saturday we did LuLu's , a cocktail place, Galleon, Garlands again perhaps, and then the Flying Handbag.
There was a free photo session in Lulu's with a while couch, and proper lighting, not had the photo's back yet.
I avoided getting too tipsy, cheesy chips were consumed at the Flying handbag at the end of both nights.
This Weekend
Saturday I was meant to go to York pride, but the friend who I was going with had issues, so I didn't bother in the end. I did go to the camping shop and get a mattress , a folding chair and table , and some other bits. I also put up the tent Ann had gifted me - this is in preparation for the morris minor meeting later this month.
Today I have been for a run in the morning, and then spent a good few hours tinkering on the car. She is largely ready, I got the electric windscreen pump working. It doesn't look very in keeping, but it works so much better than the original manual pump - and the useless modern lookalike replacement I bought.
Only 4 days at work this week, then LFF !!!!! I am very much looking forward to it :)
