A short interlude from the adventure posts to talk about life progress - ok and show some outfit snaps
Being 'Out'
I'm a bit tired and I have much less f**ks than usual due to excessive weekend fun in Leeds.
We were out of cat food, and he really doesn't care what I am dressed like, I had just got back home and I knew he wasn't going to leave me alone, and I intend to stay dressed for the rest of the day.
The photo is from the hotel this morning, for Asda I had my black sandals, denim jacket and a new grey handbag I got from TK-Max yesterday.
I am not really out to the neighbours as such, I don't avoid them, and they will have seen me in the car, but it just feels more scary being out to the neighbourhood. Distant towns and cities, it's not on my doorstep, so seems less 'real' - I have nothing to fear. I don't think I saw any of my neighbours there there though.
Anyway, feels like another small step forward.
Hormones - Micro-dose
Finally got around to sending my wife the link to the Micro-dosing info sheet from Gender GP. She is concerned about side effects. I will see if I can find anything more on that. But seemed a fairly positive response.
I hope to get the ball rolling with these this month.
Temptation to come out at work
most of the day. There are 300+ of us now, I don't interact with much more than 10% if that though in the normal course of my duties.
Anyway, I have been pondering going as me, they issue a dress code that says within reason wear what you want to be comfy. My pleated long dress is calling me....
They have to be wondering about my hair, if I were staying the night I could have done to the evening do En-femme, but neither of my two female colleagues who I normally go with are staying.
I will likely chicken out - it's probably not the professional thing to do, should tell my boss first.
!!
ReplyDeleteWell done!
And why not inform your boss of your intention to attend said meeting as yourself? Two birds, one stone.
Says me, who prevaricated too long and held off not long enough.
Thanks Joanna, I dunno a one on one with my boss seems more scary to me at the moment than just walking in with my head held high for some reason.
DeleteIt be one way to drop the T Bomb (not that that's an actual saying, maybe it should be)
ReplyDeleteYes, it's probably a bad idea, it's just one of the main areas of my life where I feel I am still in hiding. Seems less scary to me than doing with my boss over a teams call at the moment.
DeleteI'm with you on the difference between far and close when it comes to being out.
ReplyDeletePerhaps that's true for work as it is for geography.
It could be a real positive to go how you like but others probably need the heads-up before hand. Whether or not you have the time to work on that I don't know. At some point it will be taken out your hands as your pics are over the internet. It might be an idea to work towards outing yourself as it might be a bit more smooth and command better respect
ReplyDeleteI think you would have to be looking for me to find me still though, I might end up in the Leeds pride march in August - possible that might get seen by someone I guess !
DeleteOddly, when we still had a cat, I would sometimes feel self-conscious when dressed, as if there was a "and just who are you, exactly?" question behind that enigmatic stare.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes feel less rather than more confident further from my home ground. Perhaps that's about being more familiar with the territory and knowing where you can turn off or retreat to if things feel unsafe (only once, alone and late at night, when I felt I was being followed).
Similar problem with the neighbours. I suspect if I lived on my own I wouldn't worry so much, and let them think what they like about how I left or returned to the house.
It's probably not a good idea to spring a radical new look at a company do without prepping the ground first. It depends how trans friendly or accepting your workplace is. Mine is, but even so only a couple of people in the company Pride network know about Susie. Even when we took part in at the local Pride Day I was in male (and not even very fab) drab. I'm hoping that may change next year.
He is a bit skittish sometimes, I thing he might be a bit more wary of me perhaps.
DeleteYes I can see that it's nice to know your escape routes and safe places to retreat to, and which places are a bad idea to go near.
I do try to not be alone when staggering back to a hotel at night. Not done much solo nocturnal wanderings as yet. Thinking of going to a local walk dressed next. I don't like feeling trapped in the house just because of the way I am dressed. Probably won't be going down the disused canal path in the dark though :)
It's a bit of an unknown, Pride never get's mentioned at all ! We have gender neutral loos, but that could be a space saving initiative.
I've been quizzed about identity and referenced to Caitlyn Jenner across an open office, it still be a massive shock if I rocked up in a dress. Always thought trans awareness week would be a fitting time to introduce a fem look at work, but it's a while away. If you miss the conference maybe work towards that. It's complicated, once you go to work, what happens after that? Do you shelve it for a bit, go part time, or full time, there's a bit to work through.
ReplyDeleteThat doesn't sound like fun ! especially if an open office. I doubt the majority would know the significance of the week - we never have anything mentioned for Pride at all. They are on a few times a year, perhaps I could better plan for the one early next year.
DeleteThat's one advantage of being in a large company that is looking to tick all the Diversity and Inclusion checkboxes to get into the Top 20 employers. That said, most of discussions about different LGBTQI days take place within the company Pride network, which is a safe space for LGBTQ people and their allies to talk and ask questions. It would be much harder in a smaller workplace.
ReplyDeleteYes it would be nicer to be in a bigger one for so many reasons other than this. Would probably be safer to move before coming out too. A lot of the youngsters in my Wakefield group seem to have trouble getting their foot in the door.
Delete