Lamb Nihari

These events are from the first week of the month, I have been lax at posting again.

Thursday the 6th of October was meant to be Wakefield in the evening, I just wasn't in the mood again. I had a days shopping with Ann planned for Friday, followed by the big Leeds social in the evening, and I figured would prepare for that instead.

On Friday I got ready and by looking at the time I took a car park selfie, I was in Leeds for 10:30am, which isn't bad for me. I tend to do my 'evening do' eyeliner on a morning in the comfort of my home so I am not panicking attempting to do it at the hotel.

I had tried something new too, a two tone look, with blue on the lids, and pink above - stole the idea from an Insta person I follow, was pretty chuffed with the look.

We had our routine Costa, and a cake - I was good and chose the lowest calorie one I could find. We decided to mix it up a bit and do some Art, as nice to do other things than look at expensive clothes we shouldn't buy. So we headed off looking for the Tetley, which is a sort of pub/cafe/art gallery in the old Tetley offices at the Brewery Wharf. 

It was raining pretty heavily, and Ann's umbrella was really not up to it, so we got to see how well our waterproof mascara held up to the elements - pretty well as it turned out. So we were a bit damp when we got there. I can't say that I was too impressed with the exhibitions, but they will have new ones every now and then so will likely go back at some point. 

The venue itself seemed nice. Quite photogenic , lots of wood panelling and an impressive stone staircase with railings.

After we had finished in there we headed back over the river to commence some retail therapy, stopping at a music shop on the way, partly to get out of the rain, and for Ann to browse shiny harmonicas.

Did a few shops, then went to the Flamingo's LGBTQ+ friendly café in the Central Arcade for lunch. I had the same bagel as I had the first time I had visited there, still lovely. Pastrami and Emmental cheese, and a cup of tea.

I had planned to wear a silver mirrored dress  (sort of square sequins) for the evening do, but it was a bit sheer so I wanted to get a black slip to go under that, my current one was white and a bit long. I also wanted to get some silver heels - I have a pair but they are too big for me and very loose, so they only ever get used for Insta.  We spent the afternoon heading around our various usual places, from John Lewis at one end, all the way back to the hotel. 

I managed to get a slip in M&S and shoes in New Look. It was getting towards 5pm by the time we were done, so we headed back to our rooms to change for a meal. Got to go through at least three outfits in a day, or you are just not trying hard enough :)

Took the opportunity to give my new autumnal dress my wife was kind enough to purchase for me from Barnsley market when we went a few weeks ago - I was in man mode.

I had seen an Indian place on google that I wanted to try, https://www.nawaableeds.com that wasn't too far away. So we walked over there, fortunately the rain had largely stopped by this point.

The restaurant was as nice as the pictures suggested, and really nice service, the food was fantastic. I know Bradford is more known for it's curries, and I've been to some of the famous places there, but this seemed just as good. We both ate far too much, Ann was defeated in the end.  The title of the post is what I ordered - Lamb Nihari.

We headed back to the hotel to change for the evening do. I was feeling fairly pregnant due to the curry, and just couldn't even contemplate putting a corset on. So I wasn't looking as thin as I can do - which isn't that thin :) - but was still pretty pleased with how the dress looked.

We met up with Della in the bar, one of Ann's friends who was doing LFF for the 2nd time, but hadn't stepped outside the hotel before.  So we decided to drag her around a few places, as she was still not really in her comfort zone.

We did the showbar and watched some of the drag acts for a bit. Then headed over to Fibre. This wasn't as good as usual the top bar was closed, so a massive queue for drinks downstairs. Also some numpty knocked a pint over my legs. 

This gave me a good excuse to take Della to the loo's as she had never actually done female loos before and was really nervous. But I really didn't want her attempting the gents, that is not a good idea. She didn't get any photo's of me doing weird poses in front of the hand dyers trying to sort my legs fortunately.

We met a lovely lady visiting from Ireland, totally forgotten her name, she was gorgeous. Della had seemly had enough alcohol by this point, and took herself back to the hotel. So we decided to try Blayds bar , which was the quietist I've ever seen it - normally just walk in, turn around and go somewhere else. 

Then we did the Smokestack , met up with Alice in there, and Fiona.

Then finally we went to the New Penny, where Dee and a few others were, and we did some dancing for a bit. Can't remember the exact time we left, I don't think it was too late.

I had largely been on shandy, so I wasn't hungover the next day. We met up for breakfast in the morning, and I think I was back home before my wife was out of bed in the morning, so I was not in her bad books this week ! 

All in all a really nice day / evening yet again.  I don't think Ann can make the next one, so I may be back to bumbling around trying to latch onto some others. It will be fun I'm sure, I probably won't drink for that one. Hotels are expensive.

A Second Chance for a Last Dance

This was an event organised by the 'Friends Of Marian' which is a play on the 'Friends of Dorothy' but with the Marian robin hood character instead. 

It's aim is to allow queer people who who for a variety of reasons were not able to go to a 'prom' in their youth. We didn't really have proms anyway at our school, so I guess prom just means 'being glamorous'.

For example if you grew up under section 28 , or you just didn't come out until later life.

It's the first year they have done this, and it sold out. Seemed likely it will be happening again next year. It was held at 'The New Forester's' in Nottingham, which is the main LGBTQ+ pub in city. 

One of my Insta friends who I spent an afternoon with at Manchester pride a few months ago had let me know about it (Romile), and I had initially decided to go just to meet up with them really. There was another insta friend who lived in Nottingham who also decided to go too. I had also mentioned it to my friend Danielle, and she also turned up.

I drove down, and charged at Tibshelf on the way - I had got a new phone and I had a sudden panic I wouldn't be able to use the chargers in Nottingham if I couldn't get the app to work. 

I was nearly there and then discovered that the locals were having a Goose Fair, which made a total mess of traffic, and I spent 30 mins attempting a diversion I could see might work on my sat nav.

I was a bit flustered when I eventually arrived and parked. I walked briskly to the pub, which was a lot harder with the restrictions of the dress. 

When I arrived it just seemed like a normal night, but I was in a much fancier dress than everyone else, but it turned out the event was in some marquee's out the back of the pub, so I needed to go out the back door and down some steps. 

Was very happy to see lots of dresses, mostly more extravagant than mine, but mine was still on theme. 

I was glad I had taken my cheap gold jacket to give me some additional insulation, as it wasn't that warm. The dress itself was also really quite thick, a very odd stretchy material. It was one that I bought with LFF in mind.

I met up with one of my friends, and we got chatting with someone who had come all the way from the south coast. This was one of their first socials, they were very friendly and chatty. Danielle and Romile turned up a bit later, and we had a catch up. Romile had also seemed to have a friend with her, an older lady who was also on her first social outing.

Then we got ushered into the big marquee for some entertainment, a drag show and some burlesque. It was probably really good, but I am a bit of a dwarf, the stage wasn't very high, and I was at the back so I didn't see much. 

The 2nd half of the entertainment was similar - there was a raffle drawn at the end, with an amusing double act running it.  I didn't win anything. But it did seem like a lot of the winners were known to the organisers - I don't mean that it was rigged, more that it was evident that it was a community of people who knew each other. 

I am somewhat of an outsider to the LGBTQ+ community in Nottingham really, only ever really mingling with the T-Folk, so it was good to witness this, and feel a part of it. I do have a little bit of this with Wakefield, having done pride, and with their group being in the local LGBTQ+ bar.

We ended the night chatting in one of the marquee's - the music had to stop at 11pm due to noise restrictions, and we had all had enough. Did some hugging and said our goodbyes outside the pub towards 11:30.  I set off home, avoiding the Goose fair this time, and got home for about 1am.

I hadn't eaten much before I left, so I had cheese on toast before bed while feeling very overdressed for food preparation :)

All in all a nice night, and I didn't drink so no hangover to contend with ! Would definitely consider going back again,

 

Random week off

I have been terrible at booking leave from work, partly due to the extra Friday's I've been given, and also due to generally being in the habit of not booking much in the first  half of the year.

So I ended up with the last week off, which I seem to have mainly used for Izzy time.

• Monday I did some adulting, a bit of spring cleaning. 
• Tuesday I went to Huddersfield.
• Wednesday I did Meadowhall with my friend Ann
• Thursday - was feeling a bit down, didn't do much
• Friday had an Insta day, playing with my new phone, and trying on outfits.

Huddersfield

I had aimed to park at a specific car park off the ring road, but it was completely full, so ended up driving back around to park at a big shopping centre car park I had seen on the way.

I have not been there in over a decade I would think, I don't remember the big shopping centre being there at all.

I hadn't been in a rush to get ready so was lunch time when I arrived, so after having a quick look in a couple of shops in the centre I headed down the main streets to look for somewhere to eat. I found a place that sold jacket potatoes - seemly my adventure food of choice - I eat a lot of them as Izzy. 

Next I did ShoeZone, and got a cheap pair of knee high boots. I already had a pair, but I had bought them before I was going out shopping en femme from Amazon, and they are a bit too big for me. Will perhaps have to offload at Chams, I think there will be people who will need 43's - I seem to be more 42 for boots, 41 for heels.

Then I did a few charity shops, I was very chuffed to find some purple animal print high heels, that go perfectly with a dress I bought some time ago. Only £4.99 too.

I had a look around a few more places, then decided to go find the art gallery, but googling it's location I discovered it was closed on Tuesdays, so went in search of the covered market instead. They had a 2nd hand market that day, which was mainly junk not worthy of sale really. 

So I headed back to the shopping centre, and had a nice coffee and some cake at the Costa there, before heading home.

So nothing too exciting really, just a nice relaxing day out. 

Meadowhall 

My friend Ann was also at a loose end on the Wednesday, and I really wanted to go buy a new phone. I thought there was an issue with the selfie camera on my current one. 

So we arranged to meet up at Meadowhall.

Actually managed to get there at a reasonable time, I got up early and did a quick job of putting my face on. We met up by the charging points, and headed inside for a coffee and some breakfast at costa.

Had a good wander around drooling at many things we loved but had price tags beyond hope of us buying. Got a few ideas for Vinted searches though :)

We did buy a few bits in Superdrug - I got a compact mirror.

Got my new phone from Argos, in a more stereotypically feminine peach colour. Post purchase I discovered another trans friend has the same same phone in the same colour ! 

The we did lunch - it was Ann's treat as I had done some data recovery for her - an old NAS hard disc that was in Linux format and unreadable by PC without much faffing. 

We ended up in Weatherspoon's, where I once again I had a jacket potato :) - This time with chilli. It was lovely. 

It was soon getting on for 3pm, and I wanted to get home to make sure the boys were not alone for too long, so we headed off. 

Again a nice day out ! 

Thursday 

Thursday I was feeling a bit down, so didn't end up doing much productive at all. A bit of laundry. 

Possibly brought on by the old demon of guilt at being me. Upsetting my parents, being a bad parent for indulging this side of me, and not concentrating on the wife and kids etc. 

I only mention as it didn't leave me in the mood to go to the Wakefield support group, so I skipped it. Not for the first time. 

Had some gin and a nice bath instead.

Friday

Really wanted to try and get some good photo's for Insta, and also needed to try on some prom dresses from my collection for the prom in Nottingham tonight. I had 5 options for the prom, but hadn't tried on most of them for a while. I had originally planned on using them on a future LFF night, I haven't bought anything specifically for this event.

I also needed to master my new phone, which it turns out was equally bad at taking photo's with the selfie camera :(  - in the end I resorted to screen mirroring my phone to a laptop, then using the front camera to take the picture instead.  I have a Bluetooth button to trigger the shot, but had been using the phone screen as the view finder previously. Clearly this isn't possibly if you turn it around. 

I think the gold one has it at the moment, the pink one I do prefer, but it's an open back, and bra options are limited.

I will be painting my toenails shortly, and charging my car.

 

Belated updates

This is a catch-up of sorts, as I had not documented some of my outings which occurred before the previous coming out post as it felt more important to talk about then and there.

Thursday the 15th - Trans Wakefield

I had not been for a while, as I had missed the previous opportunity, and instead watched a film with my friend Ann at Meadowhall - so was nice to catch up. 

There is a guy in a wheelchair who is always there, he has trouble speaking, I think he must have had a stroke - he waved as I came in and wanted my hand, which he kissed :)  which I found quite sweet.

Phillipa was there, she had been given some pretty bad news about her cancer treatment, but she was trying to remain positive and was as lively and entertaining as normal. She may end up losing her hair, so had suggested the wig shop in Leeds if that would help. 

We were sat around the corner away from the main bar, to try and concentrate us more, and get us talking to each other. It seemed to work, there were a few good conversations about the GP process for transitioning which I absorbed. 

There was a bit of a funny incident with the loo's , I had gone into the ladies of course, and the only cubicle free was the one with the broken lock, also the first one in the row. Predictably someone else came and tried to get in - I told them I was in - which confused them greatly - clearly I have a male voice. They were loudly trying to confirm if they were in the right loos, went out, came back in. You would have thought that people coming to an LGBT bar would be able to figure out the likely cause.  

I didn't manage to team up with anyone for the pub quiz, so just sat and talked to people on Insta for a bit while they did that. There was a Dalmatian that came to say hello to everyone later in the evening, was very funny, really enjoyed a pint, so had to be kept under control. 

Friday the 16th - Nottingham city centre & Evening Invasion

I had the day off, it was Nottingham Invasion in the evening, so I thought I would head down to Nottingham earlier in the day and have a look around. I had never been during the day.

I got down by 1pm ish, and I ate at a lovely cafe that specialised in jacket potatoes. (Hipo Coffee  - Carlton Street). The I headed towards the Castle.  I had been feeling a bit under the weather so I had brought some cold pills with me, and had one after lunch.

I managed to get to the Castle using the signs, and paid for a ticket. The lady behind the counter really liked my nails, which was really nice of her to say so. I took some photo's outside then went in to look around the exhibitions. I was in there an hour perhaps, then had a nice tea outside on the terrace.

Then decided I really should get around some shops, as I had not bought any clothes for nearly 24 hours and my purse was starting to feel heavy. I ended up in a Barnado's and found a really nice leather jacket, which went really well with the rest of my outfit, I was really happy to find it. I looked around a few more, eventually ending up back near the Victoria centre, which was where the car was parked. I changed my jacket for the one I had just bought there. I managed to break one of the poppers immediately, as it was a decorative one, and wasn't meant to be tugged at. But not so bad I couldn't wear it. 

I was meeting a friend later for the invasion and got a call from her to say she would be a while, so I decided to go seek food at 'The Dice Cup' gaming café which had been recommended by Joanna. I had a vegan lasagne and a latte - with oat milk. It was nice, but I did feel a bit out of place because I didn't have a beard. Also no mirrors in the loo's !!! I wanted to touch up my foundation but couldn't.

I headed back to the car as my friend was trying to get to the same car park as me, so was hoping to see her come in. Decided to try a dry shave of the top lip using the rear view mirror, didn't go too badly, didn't cut myself. Re-applied my colour corrector and foundation and lipstick.  By which time my friend arrived and we headed to Mc Donalds to feed her.

We went to the New Forrester's straight from there, which would have been easier if we had walked through the shopping centre as it was just on the other side, but it seemed to be shutting so we went the long way around the perimeter. 

Must have been 7:30pm when we arrived, there were not that many people there, but did meet a new lady who had come for the first time, but could only stay for an hour, as her excuse expired - wife wasn't aware. It was a bit cold to sit outside and my cold was kicking in despite having taken a few more pills throughout the day. I think it was about midnight when we walked back to the car park.

Was very tired when eventually got home, but it was totally worth it.  

Thursday 22nd - Chams

This was a very busy meeting, the wig people were also coming in - I'm not sure how much that contributed to getting people there though, more of a coincidence perhaps.

I had got a bargain dress from Everything5Pounds, for £2.90 - which I really loved, and had spent far too much of the work day painting my nails to match it. I messed up and had to re-do them. I was really happy with the look, really into plain dresses and patterned tights.

Ann had come along for the first time which was nice, she seemed to enjoy herself and was chatting away with the other regulars. 

One lady from Invasion also appeared which was very unexpected, don't think that had anything to do with me though, she lived close apparently.

There were a group of ladies who had not been for ages, long time members, they seemed very nice got talking with one, I think from Rutland. 

Maria also turned up - I had vague memories of speaking with her while I was very drunk at Leeds the last time, in the Smokestack, so had really wanted to check I hadn't said anything too embarrassing, but it appears not. I shall have to try harder next time. Spent quite a while talking with her, it was nice.

I didn't get around everyone though, I shall try to inflict myself upon those I missed next time.

The app to charge my car hadn't worked at the church, so I had to drive back at 60mph, as I really didn't fancy stopping to charge. Was very tired the next day, and I had to work too. Got it working at home the next day, think it needed to be updated.

 

Incremental Coming Out ++

So in short I just came out to my mum over WhatsApp messenger - we had what seemed a tortuously long chat via messenger - due to waiting for replies, then we then had a nice 40 minute call together.

Key phrase from chat, and the photo I sent her :

"That is me, I am transgender, I currently present as female  on a regular basis"

I am a bit emotional at the moment, relived, drained, happy,  anxious of how my dad will react.

Joanna has been lovely as well as other friends I've been in touch with during/since.

The longer version:

I had thought that my parents were suspicious of me (seems I was wrong) , I had visited them on Saturday, and not much was said other than that mum liked my new hair. 

I have been growing it on top, in the hope I may be able to have a fairly ambiguous swept over style.

Then today she sent me a WhatsApp suggesting that there was something else different about me, she was convinced I had been wearing contact lenses instead of my usual glasses. I had my glasses on, so no idea how she thought that.

Anyway, since she had got the idea that something was different about me, I thought it might be the easiest opportunity I would ever get to do the deed, so I replied :

"My eyebrows were heavily plucked, my nails were long, and my arms were shaved, my hair is being grown long. My boots had side zips because they were female ones."

I sent that, then the photo above, and this wasn't sufficient as it turns out, so in the end "That is me, I am transgender, I currently present as female  on a regular basis"

We chatted a bit more, then eventually she asked if she could call me. I was going to chicken out, as I was pretty done by this point, but thought I should be brave and get it over with.

It was a lovely call, she was very supportive, and sorry that I had felt the need to hide for so long. We discussed how it affected the family , my wife and kids, and future plans for transition. How my dad was likely to react. That I should be the one to tell my brother - not today though.

I'm not sure it could have gone any better !!

I had assumed it would not go that well at all, I feel a bit guilty for assuming the worst. I had been distancing myself from them, and being rather withdrawn as a result, and they had noticed. 

I suppose could still go bad with my dad, but only time will tell.

Anyway it's another excuse off the list, what will be will be.

Strange times

 Thursday

My work is trying to get everyone back in the office, however the finance team as a whole seems to be getting special treatment. I am also one of the few who's office was closed for good during covid. I was asked what I would be prepared to do, and I suggested going in a few times a month.

The nearest office to me that has space is at Burton upon Trent , which enables me to drive past Chams on the way home if the planets align with my dates.

The first such occurrence was Thursday. I had gotten there quite early, as I really couldn't be bothered working for any longer. But didn't have long to wait as Lynn turned up quite early, and I said hello in the car park. She was able to identify me by my voice at least. 

I had heard the news of the Queens death on the way over, which was all rather unexpected. I guess they go pretty quick at that age. 

I did an insta-izzy basic transformation, which seemed to go quite well, and donned a Voodoo Vixen mustard polka dot dress for the evening. I had taken the blue platinum wig because it was already in a box from the last LFF.

Shortly after I manged to score a lovey black lace dress from Lynn , which given the events is a rather suitable outfit. Not that it is a funeral outfit at all, more the colour I mean. I tried it on for size, and then thought might as well keep it on.

There was a new person - new to me at least, who seemed really nice. It was a good evening overall, although was pretty tired by the end of it. I had bought some nice biscuits from Trowel on the way, chocolate with ginger. 

Joanna was absent with childcare duties which was a shame as I know how much she misses the meetings.

Music seemed to be one of the main topics of the day, and Nirvana's 'In Utero' got a negative mention. This again was a bit of a coincidence, as on the way back I was getting very frustrated at the radio stations who had all been told to go to a subdued playlist. So I hit the CD button, and was blessed with 'In Utero'. Which to be honest didn't keep me entertained that long as I skipped a lot.

Friday - I had a few drinks with my brother after work. I wasn't sure if he had been given the task of finding out what is going on with me. He is being super nice and telling me he is around if I need to talk. 

Perhaps my parents have put him up to it. Anyway I largely avoided talking about everything Izzy related, although couldn't help mention going out around a few places.

I am popping to my parents next weekend. I will see if any more questions arise.

Saturday - we did family things in man-mode, we went to Barnsley and went around the new Glassworks shopping centre. Ate out at the 'Falco Lounge' there. I had Slow-cooked beef brisket, black beans and mature cheddar served with spicy rice, spring onion, red chilli and yoghurt. It was lovely.

Managed to get my wife to help me purchase an autumnal patterned Kurt Muller dress off the market, which was nice of her.

I went for a run later in the evening to try and burn off the calories.

Sunday - I got dressed to do a load of photo's for Insta. I had a backlog of dresses to try on, and also a lace chemise to hide the boob area of some dresses I had not felt able to wear as my forms were visible. They all seemed to work quite well !

Which is nice as they would really have been a waste of money otherwise.

I must add that I don't just buy them for Insta, I actually want to wear them out. But it's useful to have a try on day, and get lots of photo's to narrow down options for choosing :) 

Tonal inconsistency

Thursday

Went to the cinema at Meadowhall with my friend Ann after work on Thursday.

I've never really been into Marvel, but said I was happy to watch the new Thor film 'Love and Thunder'. I wasn't really my cup of tea and afterwards Ann said it perhaps wasn't the best one to watch first. 

But the music choices in it were nice - I think there were three Guns and Roses songs in the end - one of my teenage loves.

We ate at Pizza express first, which was very nice, I had La Reine "The queen" which was ham, mushrooms and olives.

Didn't look in many shops, as we were planning on going around Leeds the next day.

Went back to her hotel for a tea and talked for a bit then I headed home. A very pleasant evening.

Friday

I spent quite a while getting ready in the morning, I wanted to do my eyeliner wings while at home, so i wasn't stressing on the hotel. I do like them to by symmetrical and it takes me an age sometimes. 

It would be the first time the kids would be left on their own for more than half an hour, so I also made sure to make them some lunch. They are both at big school now, so I think it's time we can be a bit more relaxed about leaving them. I ended up checking on them every hour all afternoon until my wife came home from work.

Got into Leeds around 11:30 , and met up with Ann for a coffee in Costa, then we wandered around the shops. Got another (but much cheaper) handbag in T.K.Maxx, then we decided to have a look in the wig shop - this was a mistake.  I have another nice wig, but Ann also ended up with one, so we are even.

These were some of the rejects, I tried at least 10 on I think. Ann bought the middle one.

This is the one I ended up with taken at the Thai restaurant later in the day:

We had a tea and shared a scone in John Lewis, then headed back to check into our rooms at the Travelodge.

We ate out at the lovely Thai place which is just next to the hotel.

I had green chicken curry, and we got a sharing plater for starters. Was gorgeous, but felt very fat afterwards.

After the meal we did an outfit change, then headed for the Marriot.

Had a few drinks in there, I met some more Insta people. It was  little sparse at first, there was a memorial service for the lady that had started the LFF event. But we both felt it would be a little strange to go, as we had never met them. 

Plenty of others were in the bar, so it wasn't too bad.

We did Fibre next, then the Viaduct showbar, back to Fibre , then to smokestack before finishing in the New Penny. Tried some cocktails in the show bar, this was a bad idea.

I had way too much to drink overall, and was feeling really rough in the morning. But I had no man mode fall-back, so I had to get ready. I managed to eat breakfast , but didn't massively help.

I looked a lot better than I felt.

We went for a walk down the river to the Armouries, and had a wander around there for a bit, and another tea.

I felt OK to drive by about 1pm, got home and went back to bed, a bit of a waste of a day really.

Next time I will be good. Well I'll probably be driving for a start, so I will have to be.

Title is referring to what the critics said about the film, and also my tinnitus which is always worse after a night out.